Rambling Thoughts from a Soldier in Training

Still in Iraq, and it's summer now

2009-05-31T11:37:00.005-05:00

It's everything everyone said it would be. . . hot, dusty, hot, smelly, and HOT! And summer is just getting started. It's only going to get worse. Imagine a blow dryer on high pointed right at your face. That's what it feels like every time I go outside. Don't feel sorry for me though. As a calibration technician, I work inside an air-conditioned trailer. Yeah, I have it pretty good, relatively speaking!

I have actually had a decent time in Iraq. I am doing my best not to waste my time here. For the past few months two of us calibrators were attached to another calibration team in Iraq to assist with their mission. I gained a lot of experience in my MOS and increased my networking (calibration is a very small field where everyone knows you), but the team was a lot different than mine. They did recognize our hard work and recommended us for Army Achievement Medals. I appreciated the experience but I could not wait to get back to my team. They are a great bunch of guys, well more like annoying little brothers plus older brother squad leader and Daddy team chief, but we somehow manage to get along.

On my way back to my unit, I was stuck in transit for a week at one of the bigger bases. I spent every day at the pool and every night at the movie theater. The pool was awesome. The water was clean, everyone was chilling. I lounged in the shallow end. I closed my eyes, felt the cool water all over me, and imagined a beer in my hand. For a few moments I forgot I was in Iraq. I felt like I was back home in TX or with my close friends in the states. Helicopters and jets passing overhead would break the peacefulness, but those sounds have always been a part of my life. It was always that "Iraq" smell (a combination of sewage, burning garbage, and shit roasting in 120 degree weather) that brought me back to reality. Hi ho, hi ho, it's back to work I go!

Iraq has been one big reunion for me as well. Just the other day, I ran into one of my friends from AIT. He just arrived here and saw me in the DFAC. This has happened several times, and I'm grateful to see each of them again, even if it's just for a few minutes each time. The Army seems so massive, but it's actually a pretty small world.

While attached to that team, I took my record PT test. I'm proud to say I scored a 257 overall. 74 sit-ups and a 17:50 run! YES! I'm disappointed in my push-ups though because I went down on those. My goal is to max my push-ups and sit-ups next time.

I am scheduled to go to the SGT promotion board next month. I'm nervous. I was supposed to go last week, but I wanted to prepare with some mock boards before I did the real thing. I had my first mock board yesterday. Despite being nervous as hell (and it showed), everyone said I did extremely well. My platoon sgt has been on many promotion and soldier-of-the-month boards in this battalion, and according to him, he is 100% sure about sending me to the board. The only thing I need to work on my voice projection (which has been my problem my whole life) and confidence, but I am apparently ready to go. Even so, I plan to keep studying and preparing. :)

Every time I write these posts, I am still amazed how everything has fallen into place for me. Here I am deployed in Iraq, performing my MOS, and preparing for the SGT promotion board. Just about every SPC can say that, it sounds so easy. But it was anything but easy for me. I will never take any of it for granted. That's what made me who I am, and I hope these experiences help me in whatever role I take in military and civilian life.

In Iraq

2009-01-27T06:49:00.006-06:00

Well, it's been quite a while since my last post. Well, to get right to it, I'm posting from Iraq. I was able to spend a couple of weeks at Ft. Lewis (beautiful area, the weather not so much), and I have been deployed long enough to earn a combat patch.

Overall, fobbit life is very easy. I have one roommate and we get along very well. I work in the calibration shop and have carved my little niche with the other soldiers. I am the only female in my shop, but I hold my own just fine. The hours are not too demanding. Hell, I even have tv (AFN channels) and internet in my room now. I didn't even have that at Ft. Lewis! I do my best to keep busy. My NCOs want me to go the the SGT promotion board before we leave, so I am studying for that and working on Army correspondence courses. I have taken up recreational reading again, as well as watching haji dvds. There are a lot of decent tv shows out there that I have never heard of! The Army gym is fairly decent as well. I started lifting weights when I first got here, and a buddy of mine poked at the increased definition in my arms last night. I was so happy, even though he mocked the baby weight I lift. Honestly, he is a lot bigger than me and could kick my ass. It's a good thing he is scared of my roommate! Ha ha ha!

With that said, it's still a deployment. Last Tuesday night (here anyway), we were watching the Presidential Inauguration live. As soon as VP Biden finished his oath, BOOM! A mortar hit just outside our living area. Dust was everywhere and all we could smell was sulfur. In 20 sec (which in hindsight is a very long time), I buttoned my pants (I like to watch tv "Al Bundy" style), put on my battle rattle, and ran to the bunker in flip flops! Several soldiers were already there, some took off without any shoes. One poor guy was in the middle of "dropping the kids off at the pool". We all joked about it to pass the time until the "All Clear" was given. The concrete barriers blocked most of the concussion from the mortar. A couple of blown out windows and busted lights, but no injuries were sustained. I'll take a cold night over no injuries any day. I slept like a baby that night, with my shoes at the ready just in case we had any more incoming fire. At least I have a somewhat interesting story. Where was I when the first black US President was swearing in. . . running to a concrete bunker wearing ACUs, battle rattle, and flip flops!

And this past weekend, we had something happen that I hope to never go through again. A soldier in my company was killed in a non-combat accident. The entire battalion was at the airfield to render honors. When his flag-draped coffin passed by me, it was such an eerie feeling. I did not know the soldier, but that does not mean his death was meaningless to me. It could be any one of us in that coffin. We cannot do anything more than look out for ourselves and everyone around us. Even then, things can happen, and now a husband, father, friend, and fellow soldier is gone. The memorial service was today. Hearing the words of his friends and leaders, the 21-gun salute, the playing of Taps, and giving that Final Salute was pretty emotional for everyone. I hope to never have to experience anything like that again. :(

Update

2008-10-31T16:33:00.004-05:00

Fort Lewis has been treating me okay. The rain and clouds have been kind of dull, but when the sun is shining, the view of Mount Rainier by the airfield is beautiful! If you are an outdoors person, the Pacific Northwest is beautiful. Even though the winter weather is not all that attractive, I was looking forward to giving snowboarding a try. Unfortunately, the Army has other plans. I am getting ready for a short deployment to Iraq. All those months of misery in medical hold in TRADOC just hoping I could be of some use to the Army, and all of a sudden, it is not training any more. I am looking forward to it. It's less than one year (at least, that is what we are being told now), I will get out of rear detachment, and I could earn some experience in my MOS. Of course my family is nervous for me, but I have some good NCOs and soldiers that are helping me out. For most of them, this will be their third deployment. Basically, I'm using my ears a lot more than my mouth! Everything is new to me, and I am just trying to soak up as much as possible.

In other news, I finally passed the run on my PT test. Overall my score was a very unimpressive 230. I am never satisfied, even though everyone (eventually I told them my background story) said they were proud of me. My PSGT told me, "One of these days, you will be happy!" One day. Until then, I will keep working. :)

Time to go!

2008-08-20T12:23:00.007-05:00

No, I didn't make my run. I did everything the physical therapist and civilian specialist told me to do (I was probably pushing it a little too much), but I could not shave off those last few seconds on my run, at least on my APFT. I feel weak. I feel like a failure. The docs said it's just going to take more time. Again I cry, "How much more time?! It's been months already!" It's so frustrating!

That passing APFT was all that was keeping me at Redstone. The cadre knew I was working hard. I did company PT twice a day (regular and remedial PT) and ran on my own on top of that. I guess they saw something in me (or more likely felt pity), and the BN CO approved a PT waiver for me. It was done. All I needed was orders in hand. After a few weeks of waiting, I received my PCS orders yesterday. The golden ticket out of TRADOC is now in my hands! My platoon sergeant and CO were making fun of me. I was like a little kid in a candy store, a huge ear-to-ear smile on my face, standing on the tips of my toes (the counter in the orderly room is as high as my shoulders) , reaching out my hands and begging,"Gimme, gimme, gimme pleeease!" Yes, I really acted like that. They know what I went through and how long I've been waiting for these pieces of paper, especially my platoon sergeant considering how much I bugged him about it. Holding it just out of my reach, "Look at that smile! Look at those teeth! I've never seen you so happy. You've been waiting a while for this!"

It's done. I finish clearing post tomorrow and sign out on leave early Friday morning. As excited as I am, it's bittersweet. My eyes watered a little when I got my orders due to supreme happiness, a hint of sadness, and disappointment. I have a year's worth of memories here, both good and bad. I met some of my closest friends here and learned a lot from the cadre and prior service around me. But I am also ashamed because I didn't earn my way out of here. I can't run for shit, but I'm still working on it. It will come. I will make it. I cannot let my next unit down.

I still cannot believe it! It's finally over! Fort Lewis, WA here I come!

Wish I had something good to write about

2008-07-08T08:44:00.006-05:00

I was supposed to graduate on Thursday. I would have been Distinguished Honor Graduate since I have the highest average in my class (of 6), but it is an Army school. I had to pass a record APFT before graduation. This morning was my last chance before graduation, and I failed my run (for the 4th time!). My commander paced me the entire way, but I could not get it done. The frustration and disappointment are unbearable, and this morning's failure hurts pretty bad. I haven't been this upset since being taken out of EOD school. I have been within seconds of passing for the past month. I am just at a loss as to what to do. So, I am back on med hold status, but at least I have an MOS now. Also, I am back on day shift (normal people hours). That means company PT in the mornings, remedial PT in the afternoons, and a PT test every week. God, just let me cut those seconds off so I can move on!

As for orders, I won't see those until I pass. Even though I have been in class for the past 8 months, I was still on med hold. I have to pass an APFT to get off med hold and get an assignment. I think for the first time in my 18 months in the Army, my future is completely up to me. There is no doctor saying "No, you're not healthy enough." There are no cadre pushing me to my limit, then saying "Nothing personal but you got to go." All I hear from my cadre here is, "Come on. I know it hurts. You're getting better. It takes time. Don't rush your recovery. You're doing well." It's much more encouraging that the "you have no pride, not really injured, just want to quit" crap I heard at Ft. Benning. But I don't really believe it. I'm not doing well. I suck at running. After 2 months of being off profile, I should be able to run a 19-minute 2-mile, but I can never keep the pace beyond 1.25 mile. No amount of ibuprofen has been able to help, and I think the problem is more mental than anything. I'm scared to get hurt again for an Army school, something that will be producing qualified soldiers long after I'm gone. That damn scar is a constant reminder that no one is looking out for me. It's up to me to take care of myself. I already pushed myself for a bunch of people that didn't give a shit about me, and I came very close to permanent injury. It's a sad way of thinking, I know. More and more, I feel like I should have taken the med chapter. Which is worse:
- a medical holdover, week after week failing the run by seconds, or
- a civilian, making a lot more money, but forever wondering what would happen if I had stayed in the Army?

Both are two of my worst nightmares - being useless and living with regret. But I made my decision. Even after all this, I still have the desire to serve, and I have to see it through.

I hate being a headcase. I hate being a failure. I hate being unreliable. I hate sitting on my ass not being productive. And it's all my fault. I'm the only one holding myself back. Hopefully I will have some good news next week.

For some positive thinking, The Dark Knight opens next Friday! I have been looking forward to this movie for months, and the early reviews make it sound incredible.

Safety Day, and What a Surprise

2008-05-17T03:38:00.007-05:00

Safety Day

I experienced my first Army safety day on Friday. It wasn't as bad as the permanent party soldiers made it sound. After the introduction, announcements, and skits at brigade formation, everyone was split up between 6 different stations and rotated during the day. There were stations for the standard drug/alcohol abuse, water safety, fire safety, plants/reptiles/insects, heat injuries, drinking and driving (including beer goggles and golf carts for practice), and weather safety topics.

My favorite briefing was the reptiles/plants. I wouldn't go closer than 5 feet towards the spiders (a vast improvement over the shrieking and running away I used to do), but I liked the snakes! They were so smooth (yeah I touched them), and some of them had beautiful colors and patterns. There were also some poisonous snakes we could view (obviously not touch) to learn how to identify poisonous snakes. I was getting a look at the poisonous plants when my platoon sergeant saw me. "Hey SPC. Umm, you like snakes?" "Yeah, Sergeant. They're pretty. Why, you don't." "No no no! That's why I'm over here." Ha ha!

The heat injury briefing was probably the funniest briefing just because Friday was about 60 degrees and windy, we were outside sitting on metal bleaches, and the uniform of the day was summer PTs! As my drill sergeants said, cold is just a mind game. I was actually getting some sun on a beach in Greece! If only that were true. One day though, one day!

Wow!

For the past couple of weekends, I have had trouble sleeping at night and usually kill time watching videos on myspace and youtube. Well a little while ago, I stumbled onto this baby:

That would be a video of my platoon in BCT sounding off with our "friendly competition" platoon motto directed at the other platoons in the company. I was a Punisher. The other platoons were the Pit Bulls, Vipers, and Predators. I think this was our last week or so, when things had really relaxed (I know, I know, Relaxin' Jackson, it was probably already relaxed when we showed up). Yours truly is 3rd from the left in the second rank (the second person is hidden behind the 1st squad leader). I told you I was small!

I still cannot believe I stumbled across that video online! It brought back a lot of memories - the good (battle buddies), bad (bleeding through my boots on a road march), and ugly (God, those bathrooms were disgusting!). Good times! Punishers!

Still Alive

2008-05-04T20:41:00.004-05:00

I'm still hanging around Redstone. I was discharged from physical therapy last month, and I got off profile last week. I am now in my recovery period, and the cadre are not pushing me to take the APFT, thank goodness!

My time at Redstone is finally coming to an end, sooner than expected. For the past couple of months, my class was told we are graduating on 29 July. We found out on Friday that we have to graduate on 10 July. We thought we were a little ahead of schedule, and now our instructors are being told we are 5 days behind. No worries though, as far as academics go. I have the highest average so I am on track for Distinguished Honor Graduate. One of the privates really wants it, and he calculated his weighted average and wanted to know his competition (that would be me). He had a 95 average, but when he went through my grades (with my permission, I didn't care enough to calculate it myself) and calculated my 97, he was a little upset. I told him if he wants it, go for it but I'm always going to try my best. He jokingly thought about moving to A-shift so he would have a shot at DHG. Ha ha!

As far as PT goes, I am a little worried because moving up our grad date cuts the time I have to pass the APFT. My goal was to take it at the end of June, giving me a month as a buffer in case I do not pass it. Now that buffer is gone. It's June or bust for me! Not really, but by the time I graduate, I will have been here for almost a year. I don't want to stay here any longer than I have to.

Like I said, I am off profile and in my recovery period. I did regular company PT for the first time last Monday, and I was scared shitless! I almost snuck in with the profiles because I still have pain when jogging for small distances. Formation runs worry me. Luckily (or not so much) it was raining that day, so the 1SG moved PT to the gym. We did a lot of muscle failure - push-ups, flutterkicks, wide-arm push-ups, overhead claps, forward claps, pull-ups, more push-ups. In between those exercises, the 1SG had us (yes, including me) running suicides. He then gave many of us an introduction to the railroad. The railroad is when everyone forms a circle and lays down on their stomach. One person starts it (1SG picked yours truly to start the inside circle) by jumping over each person all the way around the circle. For the people laying on the ground, as soon as you are jumped, you get up and join the end of the line. We went around 3-4 times. I lost count. I was just trying to keep from stepping on someone and making sure my ankle was holding up. I was scared. 2 months ago, I could not even hop on one leg, and that morning I was freaking jump over half the company one after the other about 3-4 times.
The railroad was fun, but it did wear out my ankle. The run back to the company was a little painful, but I was not about to fall out of a freaking 1/2 mile run at an Airborne shuffle!

Everything else is going okay I guess. I do not go out nearly as much as I used to, so more money is staying in my pocket. Every Monday when I show up to PT formation, there are a ton of new faces. Since I'm on B-shift, I don't get to know too many people. I'm always in class when they are drinking, and I'm sleeping when they are on duty. I always get asked if I'm new here. HELL NO! I've been here longer than most of the cadre!

I still have my fun though, like a spur-of-the-moment road trip to the Jack Daniels factory! It's only 45 minutes from Huntsville, and the tour was the right price, FREE! I don't even like whiskey (another one of those lessons learned from experience!), but that place smelled soooo good! We most definitely took our time walking through the Barrel House! They also have fliers on buying a barrel of whiskey, and the thought did cross my mind, but it quickly faded. "Downtown" Lynchburg, TN was a picturesque town square, and the General Store had every possible thing you could think of branded with the Jack Daniels logo. I bought one of those "Lynchburg lemonade" mason jar mugs, and my friend bought me a bottle opener necklace. How thoughtful! Seriously though, it may end of being one of the most useful gifts anyone has even given me. ;)

My days are pretty much the same now. I sleep, keep busy during the day, and go to class at night. I wanted to take an online grad school class through Eastern Michigan University (cheapest tuition rate per credit hour for non-degree online students I have discovered so far), but the class was full. Depending on what the Army has me doing in the fall, I am going to try again in August. I remember complaining about my classes so much in college, but now here I am itching to take some more. I do not want to launch into a full degree program yet. I'm not quite sure what I want to study, but I am leaning towards a master's in engineering, project, or technology management. In general, I want to stay technical but also learn the business side. So I kind of want to walk the line between an MBA and an MS in engineering. Once I sort this out, and actually get the time to pursue a degree, I'll make more of a commitment. I don't want to get in over my head. That's why it took so long for me to get my undergraduate degree!

By the way, I still don't know my next duty station! I'm the only one at this point in training who does not know. I am hoping for Germany. I also have to consider whether I want to go back to OCS. By the time I leave Redstone, I'll be MOS-Q and back on full active duty status. All my friends told me I needed to get back to OCS as soon as possible. I may now get the chance, but now I wonder if I really want to go back right now. Do I want to spend some more time as enlisted? I've met some of my closest friends here at Redstone, and I would love to earn some SGT stripes. I've learned so much already, but I feel like I need to learn more before I take on the responsibilities of an officer. At the very least I can improve my land nav skills and possibly avoid the "can't spell LOST without LT" jokes. Okay, fat chance of ever avoiding those! Decisions, decisions!

2008-03-06T10:23:00.003-06:00

Physical Therapy

Okay, so the therapist wasn't kidding when he said we were going to step up the workouts, and it is soooo much freaking fun! He's basically my personal trainer now. And we do all kinds of exercises. It's not easy, and I can definitely feel the weakness in my ankle but there is a definite difference. Yesterday he had me do balancing exercises on the trampoline with my bad leg. I was timid at first, but once I realized that my ankle would not all of a sudden roll in on me, I was able to make it. He said my confidence in my ankle is definitely improving. I agree! I'm trying to train myself back to walking and moving around without having to inspect the ground for uneven surfaces or pebbles that could cause my ankle to give out on me. It's a hard habit to break, but I am getting better and more confident by the day.

The whole session (from heat before the exercises to the ice pack afterwards) lasts about 2 hours, and it's a good lower body workout. My thighs usually feel like jello, and I'm usually a little sore the next day. But it's soreness, not pain! I definitely know the difference, and it feels good to be sore again. Oh, but I'm sure the novelty of it will wear off with a few more sessions!

Near-Death Experience

Okay, not really, but everyone in the PT office had a good laugh at it yesterday.

After the heat treatment, I started off on the treadmill. Now, I hate treadmills. Aside from being absolutely boring to me, I've seen America's Funniest Videos enough times that I developed a fear of slipping or falling on one and getting thrown across the room.

I was supposed to walk for 1/2-mile at a 2 mph pace. The 1/2-mile came and went, and the therapist was tending to another patient. I was not in any pain, so I decided to step it up a little. I increased the speed to 2.5 mph, and I was at 3/4-mile rounding the final turn, heading into the straightaway for the win, in my mind. I find treadmills absolutely boring, and I need to find ways to entertain myself. Moving on, BLIP! The power in the building went off! The treadmill just died, and I was standing on the tread with my "WTF!" face. Well, guess what happened next. Yup, the power came right back on with my dumbass still standing on the tread. I believe the words out of my mouth were, "OH SHIT!" I damn near lost my leg! Okay, not really. No, I did not get thrown across the room, but it scared the crap out of me! My ankle held up, I regained my balance and went on to win the race! I crossed the finish line to the adoring laughter of the staff and patients who saw/heard me!

Few Women in this MOS, so what else is new?

Last night my instructor was telling us about the 94H field in the real Army (I am in TRADOC right now). There are only about 300 calibrators in the Army now, most of the work is done by civilians now. And, there are all of 2 females in the field in the Army. Well, there are probably a few more than 2, but basically he was saying I will be one of very few females in the field (possibly the only one at whatever duty station I end up at). And I say, so what else is new? I majored in male-dominated civil engineering in college. At OCS, I was one of about 20 or so females in a company of 160. In my company now, I'm about one of 10 in a company of who knows how many (200-ish or more, mostly phase 1 EOD). So, being the oddball female is something I'm used to. Because of my "guy tendencies" (looooove football season, like most other sports, drink beer, enjoy bathroom humor, most comfortable in jeans and t-shirts, etc.), I generally get along better with guys anyway. I just become "one of the guys," and they have a tendency to forget I do "girly" things out of uniform. My buddies freaked out the first time they saw me carrying a purse! Anyway, it should not matter. There are things they are better at (PT comes to mind), and I accept that. But that does NOT make me a shitbag soldier! I do my job. I am an American soldier!

B shift

Class is going quite well. I got out of Module B (an introduction to the "chain of command" of calibration, paperwork, and publications) with a near 100 average. We are in Module D now, introduction to the core workstations and multimeter calibration (working with up to 1000 V on equipment worth a couple of grand). It's interesting and easy but challenging. It is a lot of information, so we have publications for everything that give the step-by-step procedures, and we can use those on our written and performance tests. But without a good grasp of the basics of electronics and how to use the pubs (where to look) it could be very difficult. We are learning very quickly that attention to detail is everything in this MOS! But our instructors are pretty good, and we all have a good grasp on what we have covered so far.

I swear B shift is the best thing that could have ever happened to me! The only time I have to show up for formation is Monday mornings for accountability (also have to check in with my PSGT before heading to class every night). I do PT on my own, so there is no pressure to keep up in the formation runs (one of the main reasons I kept re-injuring myself at Ft. Benning). My physical therapy appointments can be as long as 2.5 hours, and I do not have to worry about making up class (actually I would be recycled out for missing that much class). The barracks are really quiet during the day, and I get the laundry room to myself. My sleep schedule has finally settled, so I don't even get bothered by the rest of the company getting ready for the 0530 formations. The privates in my class are high strung, but we all get along well (I'm class leader, so I have to keep them in line once in a while). Like I said earlier, our instructors are really good (our class average is higher than the day shift's average). The one downside is having class on Friday nights. We lose part of our weekend (no weekend road trips to the casinos anymore but Nashville is still doable), and we have to get dressed and head to class as everyone is walking around in their civilian clothes and thanking God their weekend has finally come. I can deal with that though. The positives vastly outweigh the one negative. Thank God for B shift!

Funny PFC

On Tuesday night, we took about an hour for dinner break. I'm allowed to leave the building for dinner, so I headed back to my room to eat. The IETs (straight out of BCT to here) have to stay in the break area to eat (usually MREs that their cadre give them). The PFC in my class brought a can of spray cheese to use on his MRE crackers and bread. I came back early (always do), and chilled with them until the instructors call us back into the classroom. Well, the instructors called us, and the PFC was rushing so he just threw his spray cheese into his cargo pocket, threw his trash away, and we all head back to the classroom and settle in. The PFC sits in front of me, and the instructor begins the lecture. All of a sudden, PPPPFFFFTTTT! It sounds like a really juicy fart (the correct term is shitting fart or "shart" for short), and it's coming from right in front of me. The PFC just looks so startled. I was thinking either shart or his chair broke. We are all looking at him when he jumps up and yells (he's Filipino so imagine that accent), "Oh noooo!" He reaches into his cargo pocket and pulls out his spray cheese with the top completely covered in cheese, "Aww, my cheese!" It's all over the inside of his pocket! We all, instructors included, just bust out laughing at him. I had tears in my eyes! The PFC is using tissue to scoop the gobs of cheese out of his pocket. One of the PV2s offered to get him some crackers! He tried to salvage what was left in the can, but it was completely empty! He had almost an entire can of spray cheese in his cargo pocket! I'm laughing just thinking about it! What a way to start a new lecture.

Picture Time!

2008-02-18T12:12:00.006-06:00

I am in a ridiculously awesome mood right now!

Had an appointment with the ortho specialist this morning. His exact words: "Your ankle is healing great. Get the hell out of that boot!" Yes! :)

There is no limitation on what activity I can do. I just have to wear a lace-up ankle brace for any kind of PT as well as walking for long periods of time. The doc said I can even start running again, as long as I wear the brace. I still have to go to physical therapy, but I can move up from the theraband exercises and calf raises and challenge my ankle a hell of a lot more now.

It's amazing how well one can heal when she actually listens to the doctor!

Picture time!

My ankle

Added on some picture updates of my ankle. It has healed quite nicely. The scar is still very visible but much improved. To read the captions, place your mouse over each picture as it scrolls by.

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Plan for Tomorrow

I think it's called Wheeler Mountain. It's not a mountain by any means, but it is conveniently located (or not, depending on a person's love for running hills) down the road from the barracks. I plan to walk/crawl (wearing my brace!) up the damn thing, touch the antenna at the top (see it way in the distance), and then get my ass down. This was a New Years' resolution of mine - to hit the mountain at least once a week.

Analog Multimeter

The one I had to build. It really was pretty easy. A reminder, to read the captions, place your mouse over each picture as it scrolls by.

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Current Reading List

I ran of of things to do during the day (appointments, get my taxes done, etc.) last Thursday, so I killed some time in the library. I'm still working my way through sublist 1 of the CoS Reading list, but I'm mixing in some other stuff with it.

I just started working my way through:

The introduction on Chinese history kind of threw me for a loop. I had to write some notes down. I'll see how the rest of it goes.

The book next in line is from sublist 1:

And just to keep a healthy balance in my life:

It's all good, it's all good!

2008-02-12T20:42:00.005-06:00

Healing Process

It's been a little over a month since I last posted, and I am doing quite well actually. I got my cast off a few days after I got back from convalescent leave. I was free! Sort of. The doctor upgraded me to a walking boot, and I have been sporting it for almost four weeks now. The thing is really annoying and makes me walk with a funny limp. And everyone is taking full advantage of the situation at my expense. Lucky for them I have a sense of humor (even if I didn't, most of them have rank on me anyway)!

I have been going to physical therapy three times a week. It was definitely frustrating at first. I got another one of those "don't rush recovery" lectures. Don't worry, I learned my lesson. I let go of my pride and listened to the doctor and physical therapist. Both of them are pleasantly surprised about my healing process. I have another follow-up appointment with the specialist on Monday. Hopefully I can leave the walking boot at the office. Walking without the boot (just around my barracks room) feels comfortable. But I found out the hard way that my ankle is not yet ready for the quick-turning and rotating stuff, such as dancing around my room to the radio after getting out of the shower. Hey, I was in a good mood!

Training

Once I was back, I jumped right back into the self-paced training. Despite missing two weeks of training, I still managed to finish my phase 1 training a day early. It involved a lot of hours. For two weeks, I was in class from 0730 to 1545, study hall from 1545 to 1800, dinner/chill time (ie. no class work of any kind) for an hour, and then studying on a department laptop in my room until 2200-2300. I put in a lot of hours to finish on time. Once I finished the self-paced computer portion, I moved onto a week of soldering. My final project in there was to build an analog multimeter. It was not too difficult, and the thing was pretty accurate when the instructor tested it. I am quite proud of it and kept it as a graduation present. Something tells me this multimeter will actually be useful. So the hard work and all those extra hours paid off. I officially finished yesterday! I went back to the schoolhouse today to take a practice phase test (we are the department's guinea pigs for a comprehensive end of phase test being implemented in a few weeks). My other phase 1 graduation present (besides hardy handshakes and an offer to hang out as an assistant instructor) was a set of graduation CDs with all the electronics lessons on them. Yay.

Phase 1 is complete! Even better news: I do not have to wait very long for Phase 2 training (systems). I start next Wednesday on B shift. I will have class from 1700 to 0100. Yes, I typed that correctly and you read that right. I will have class at night, possible for all of phase 2 (almost five months for my MOS). There is good and bad to B shift (good being I do not have to miss any class for appointments; bad being class on Friday nights), but I am looking forward to it. I am all for finishing training and joining the operational Army (along with getting the hell away from TRADOC for a while)!

Special Visitor Today

Today, I was in the middle of studying for the phase test when we were told to head to the auditorium for a special guest. It seems Miss Alabama was visiting Redstone Arsenal, and our training department was one of the places she was visiting. It felt like we were being paraded around for the camera man (which we were). She seemed really nice, and she kept saying she was trying really hard not to burst into tears. She spoke a few words, and the department had all of us soldiers take pictures with her by MOS. There were so many 94H's that we were split into two pictures. I never realized there were so many of us. Then
we went back to our classrooms, and Miss Alabama toured the rooms. The whole thing lasted about an hour, and the privates were fairly well-behaved (thank goodness!).

So, What is the Reason?

Every once in a while, I go through my posts from last year. When thinking back, it feels like a completely different time, and I was a completely different person. I am pretty much the same person personality-wise. I just have a much more positive outlook. Only a few months ago, I was completely lost and frustrated. Nothing was going right. I hit a difficult situation, fell into despair, rebounded in an attempt to make something out of it, and I was hit with another situation. It was back-to-back stuff involving work, friends, and family. Nothing was off limits, and I always fell asleep wondering what bad news I would receive the next day. I felt completely hopeless. Serving in the military is what I wanted, what I felt I had to do, but nothing was right! My how things have changed!

My problem ankle is being properly treated. I am always reminded by people that I will never be 100%. Well, I don't even remember what 100% is. If it's an improvement to the torn ligaments and instability, I will take the 90+%!

I am about five months away from becoming MOS-qualified (finally!!). Before my experience, I never heard of anyone having difficulty going through AIT. Most people go through BCT, AIT, follow-on schools, and hit their first duty stations with no problem. My experience was just a smidge different. I can picture myself as a SGT/2LT/civilian/engineer/whatever-the-hell-I-will-be-in-the-future looking back on all this and laughing about how easy this really was. It already feels like it was easy, but I may just feel that way because it looks like this will have a happy ending. 20/20 vision hooah!

So I ask, what is the reason for such a crappy 2007?! I know, I know. Everything has a purpose, be patient, all will be revealed, etc. I cannot wait for that day.

Tidbits I Have Learned Along the Way

1. Alabama cops are very military friendly! Two weekends ago, I got pulled over twice and was given warnings each time. For the record, I don't abuse this newly-discovered military benefit! I tend to stay close to the speed limit. Really, I do!

2. Chamomile tea is good stuff, especially with a little bit of honey and lemon. I enjoy a cup with my breakfast and right before bed. It also helps with the swelling in my ankle.

3. Spend your money wisely, but don't be outright cheap! The crappy-ass popcorn from the Dollar Tree is just not worth it. Orville Redenbacher's Kettle Korn is where it's at!

4. Keeping up with a spending plan is a necessary pain in the ass!

Picture updates of my ankle

2008-01-07T17:41:00.000-06:00

Regarding captions, to read the entire caption under each picture, pause the player, and highlight the line. You should be able to highlight and read the rest of the caption that the window cuts off.

** WARNING! A couple of my friends have gotten quite upset at me for not warning them of the grossness of my scar. So, consider this your warning! Honestly, it doesn't look that bad, but I wouldn't eat and look at the pictures. Having said that, scroll down and feel free to look. I'll try to remember to update it every once in a while.

BubbleShare: Share photos - Safe Toys

Nearly 2 weeks into my 30 day con leave

2007-12-30T12:17:00.000-06:00

The sugery went well. I had to show up 2 hours early to get prepped, they wheeled me into the OR, put the anaesthetic in my IV, and I was out within a couple of seconds. I woke up in recovery with a splint on my leg. The nurse kind of laughed at me. I had only been in recovery for a couple of minutes, but I was already up and trying to get out of bed. She tried to settle me down. She also said I had really pretty hair. Gee, thank you. :)

My sister had flown in from San Antonio to help me out, and she drove me back to post. I got a 24 hour quarters slip (you get that pretty easily when you tell them you had surgery an hour ago), and checked in with my PSGT and 1SG at the company. My sister picked me up something to eat, and I was ass down, leg up on my bed, with a good dose of Vicodin in me for the rest of the night. I signed out on leave and flew home the next day. I must say, it's much more enjoyable to fly when you're in a wheelchair and people are moving around you!

And I've pretty much been ass down, leg up on the couch and bored out of my mind since I got home. I can't put any weight on my right leg at all for a month. So, I can't do too much. I even missed all the holiday sales this year. Don't even get my started on bathing! That is awkward as hell! I'm not allowed to take my splint off or get it wet, so I sport the season's latest fashion, Le Bag de Garbage, on my leg. And the balancing act I have to perform is something else. I think I finally got the choreography down. It takes me less than 10 minutes, and the stability muscles in my left leg get a bit of a workout.

I still got another 2 weeks of con leave. I'll figure something out. But once my brother goes back to school, I'll be trapped at home with no way out! Eh, it's really not so bad. I just can't stand not being active. I'm starting to get really antsy, and my sleep schedule is all messed up now. Even worse, it's about 70 degrees outside today (remember, I'm in South-Central TX now), and I cannot take advantage of my dad's spa in our backyard. I can look at it now, and it's calling my name! Damn splint!

Oh well. The awesome food makes up for it, kind of. God I miss the food here! I've cut alcohol out of my diet (rather not mix it with the pain killers), so there will be no bad ass margaritas while I'm home. Even so, it's good to be back. Who knows where I will be this time next year.

Date for surgery is set

2007-12-16T14:43:00.000-06:00

After talking with the on-post doctor, physical therapist and off-post specialist last Monday, I decided to go for it. Physical therapy wasn't hurting me, but I wasn't improving. The specialist will also be my surgeon, so I'm pretty familiar with him already.

So the surgery, right ankle ligament reconstruction, is set for this Wednesday. On Thursday, I'll be on a plane to San Antonio. I was granted convalescent leave, so I get to go home for a month. This actually works out pretty well for me, I mean as well as it can. Winter block leave is from Dec 20 to Jan 2, and the schoolhouse will be closed during that time. I'll miss two weeks of class, but since I'm a week ahead right now, I'll only have to make up a week when I get back. An added perk is that the con leave covers the block leave, so I won't be charged for it. Of course, it's not really free leave. I'm looking at a minimum 3 month recovery. I have to stay off my ankle for a couple of weeks and then I can start working back up to walking and then running (for real this time!).

Here's to a routine surgery and full recovery!

Interesting question. . . finally time to answer

2007-11-27T17:52:00.000-06:00

Do you regret joining the military? If you know this is how things would have turned out would you have decided a different career path and perhaps stayed in the civilian world?
Anonymous left this question on my last post. I've also had this question e-mailed to me several times, along with being asked this in person when people hear of my situation. It sounds crazy (I'm even calling myself crazy as I type this), but the answer is no.

I had a lot of options coming out of school. I had job offers from several engineering firms that offered much of what I wanted (competitive salaries, travel, chance for field experience, benefits for grad school and professional licensing). I cannot count how many "what the hell were you thinking?!" comments I have received when I tell people what my degree is and how many offers I had coming out of school. But you know what. . . I don't regret it. The desire in me to serve was pretty strong, and a feeling like that is extremely hard to ignore. So, I acted on it. I didn't want to spend months, years, possibly the rest of my life wondering "what if." I'm 24 years old. It's too early to start living with regret!

Don't get me wrong. This year was far from a pleasant experience. I didn't know the system. There were very few people who were looking out for my best interest. My pride was used against me, and my ignorance of the system was taken advantage of. Basically, I was screwed over and passed off to be someone else's problem. I was very upset and frustrated. At one point I actually said that I didn't even want to become an NCO let alone go back to OCS. Don't worry, those thoughts did not last long! I want to earn SGT someday (I still have the rank that my drill sergeant ripped off his chest and gave to me at my "promotion ceremony"), if only to look out for soldiers and do everything I can for them. I don't want them or their issues to end up lost, or even worse ignored, in the system. I don't intend to be a miracle worker. This is the Army we're dealing with, and I learned a long time ago that I cannot save everyone, but I can do everything in my power to help someone out when they ask for it. My worst fear in the world is that I will ask for help and no one will be there. Sort of like being mugged on the street and people just passing by because they look at the situation and think "someone else will take care of it." I don't want to be one of those people who pass the buck. For some people, it is very hard to ask for help. They let their pride dominate their actions (yeah, I learned this the hard way too). So, if they finally get the courage to ask, I hope someone will be there for them. And if I'm a SGT and it's one of my soldiers, I'll be there for them.

Another reason why I don't regret my decision. . . I have much better control of my emotions. Like I said, I went through a lot of shit, and I had a very hard time controlling my emotions through it. Yeah, I have many (way too many) memories of me crying my eyes out in front of other soldiers, cadre, pretty much anyone any time. Some people (mainly civilians) might say that crying was okay because it was frustrating stuff (and/or because I'm a girl). Umm, no! It wasn't okay. I lost control, and I wasn't able to see or think through the situation clearly. It sure as hell wasn't a good situation, but it could have been a lot worse. Each time, I made it through in one piece and awoke to a new day. The bad stuff will end. I just have to find my way through it, and I can't do that if my emotions get the better of me. Looking back, being able to control my emotions helped immensely when my family got the news about my brother's cancer.

And yet another reason why I don't regret my decision. . . the people I've met (both good and bad), the friends I've made, and the adventures we've had. Sadly if I were a civilian, these people I care so much about would probably have been nothing more than one-time acquaintances, if I crossed paths with them at all. We are all from so many different backgrounds and upbringings, and it was the Army (as well as our crappy situations) that brought us together. Despite the crap I was going through, they would drag me out of my room kicking and screaming (sometimes literally), and we would go searching for a good time, which we usually found! In my "Why I want to be a U.S. Army Officer" essay, I mentioned my "extended military family" that I gained through my dad's experience. Well, now I'm gaining a bigger one through my own experience. :)

How can I summarize all this (along with all the many more reasons I left out)? Well, it's the intangibles. Things such as money, fame or material things have never been very important me. Hell, I sleep on an issued green wool blanket and use issued brown towels every night even though I don't have to! It's those things you can't see, those things you can't buy that matter most to me, and I have stumbled upon many of them throughout this year.

I've waded through a lot of shit this year, but things are finally falling into place. Like I've been told throughout my life. . . it's the bad shit in life that brings out your true character. All you can do is keep on living. No regret! :)

Update on Class
I'm still sitting on my ass. . . but it's in front of a computer in a classroom now! I did start class last Tuesday. Actually, I was supposed to start the week before, but I was never told. I am quite well. The "8 hours in front of a computer" isn't all that fun, but hell. . . I'M IN CLASS NOW!!! :) Even better, is that I finished the first section today. As of today, I'm about 4 days ahead. Damn, it feels good to be training towards something, instead of improving my area beautification and mail delivery skills. I do miss my buddies that are still on inactive status. As much as the inactive status sucked for me, I met some pretty cool people!

Update on my Brother
He is doing extremely well with no complications since he was diagnosed. He's being a normal 17 year-old and getting through his senior year in high school and working on his college applications. Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers, and words of encouragement. They have helped more than you could know.

Almost Forgot :)

GIG 'EM AGGIES! WHOOP!

I got good news and bad news

2007-11-18T16:37:00.000-06:00

First the good news. . .
My reclass to 94H was approved last week. I'm supposed to start class on Tuesday. I'm keeping my optimism in check until my butt is physically in a seat in class, but I'm pretty happy! Let the 33 weeks of training begin!

And now the bad news. . .
I decided that I was healthy enough to march in the Veteran's Day parade here in Huntsville. I did not realize the damn thing was 4 miles. By the end my right ankle was messed up. It didn't really hurt, but it was numb. I could still put plenty of weight on it, but I had to kind of throw my foot forward to keep moving. I couldn't control the movement. This bothered me enough to bring it to the doctor's attention at sick call when I went for another evaluation of my profile. I'm in the recovery phase now, so I'm not on profile anymore. But the doc went ahead and made appointments for me to see the physical therapist (again!), and the ortho specialist off post (again!). These were the same people I saw for my left hip injury when I first got here (which has completely healed. I can do sit-ups all day long).

Well, long story short, the ortho specialist said that my tendons are really messed up, which he determined from a physical inspection. Didn't even need an MRI to tell him they were messed up. I have to ear a brace again. He made a follow-up appointment for Jan. 3rd. If he doesn't see any improvement in my ankle by that time, I'm looking at, and I quote, "major reconstructive surgery." Even though I somewhat expected it, I was still upset. All I could think was that my ankle hasn't magically healed in 8 months. I seriously doubt it will heal in 6 weeks.

And since I am now off profile, I expect to take the diagnostic APFT on Tuesday morning. It's just a diagnostic so I don't have to pass it. Still, it kind of sucks.

I guess it's almost a blessing in disguise that my AIT will be so long and all here at Redstone. There is no big physical demands either, so I should be able to stay in class after the surgery. It'll be hell getting around though. I live on the 3rd floor right now! Me on crutches and stairs are a very bad combination!

It's been a long time

2007-11-13T13:06:00.000-06:00

I do not have regular internet access, so I haven't posted in over a month but a lot has been going on. This will be quite a long catch-up post, and I will probably continue to add to it.

Out of EOD
A few weeks ago I went to the A&O for EOD training and asked to be dropped from training. I was tired of waiting to get healthy enough for the bomb suit test. I want to be MOS-qualified sometime before my contract expires (2 years and change left), and I felt that it was time to walk away. Because I never did take a bomb suit test, I never signed a volunteer statement for the MOS, so I was (once again) administratively relieved due to medical reasons. If I had to DOR (drop on request), I would have never been able to try EOD again. Not that I really want to any time soon, but I still like to keep my options open for the future.

It took a few hours for the schoolhouse to drop me because I was a very unique case, so they had to write up a special counseling statement for my situation, and I had to be counseled by the CSM of the schoolhouse. I was pretty content with my decision, and showed the CSM the top 5 MOSes (since I came from OCS, I was allowed to pick 5 instead of only 3) I was submitting when I once again put in a reclass packet for needs of the Army. Then I went back to give my admin paperwork to my Operations SGT, who gave me some incredibly disappointing news. For some reason that I will never understand, I would only be able to pick 6 of the MOSes listed on the top 25 list - medic, mechanic, supply specialist, and 3 other things that I have absolutely no interest in. The only MOS on my desired top 5 that I could actually be reclassed to was supply specialist (on my list only because the AIT is 7 weeks long). Despite having no security issues and very high ASVAB scores (my lowest line score was 120), the MI and signal jobs I wanted were off limits to me for whatever reason. It took everything in me to keep my military bearing in front of the cadre. I had just given up my best option, and I felt like I was fucked over again! Oh I was so fucking pissed off!

I went to MILPO to speak with the lady in charge of cutting orders. She is probably one of the rudest people I have ever met, but she was the only one at that point who could help me. I asked her why I can only choose from these 6 MOSes with my line scores and security clearance. Her exact words to me, "Well that's easy. It's on that paper." And she gave me this look I was was some fucking idiot wasting her time. I like to think of myself as an easy-going person. There are very few people who can piss me off within 3 sentences of speaking, and she was one of them. Her attitude and professionalism (I mean lack thereof) were absolutely disgraceful. Thank goodness I kept my military bearing through this because she gave me another option. I doubt she would have told me anything if I had bitched her out. 2 of the MOSes listed on my ATRRS record had their training here at Redstone (94S and 94H). So, according to her, all she had to do is switch me over in the system. "Can you guarantee me those MOSes?" She said she could, so I essentially had 2 options:

Take my chances with needs of the Army again and hope for supply specialist but risk getting an undesirable MOS like 88M. Either way, the AITs would be fairly short, and I would finally experience the real Army within a couple of months.
Pick a guaranteed MOS (according to the MILPO lady). However, the training is extremely long. 94S phase 1 is 10 weeks here and then 9 months at Ft. Bliss. 94H is 9 months, all at Redstone.

I thought hard and asked everyone around me. I felt sick to my stomach. I was afraid that whatever choice I made would lead me down another path of misery. Every month, news stories and articles repeat how few people want to join the military. Well here I am ready and willing. Now why can't I get a fucking job and be useful?! I was tired, and the decision was hard. I made it later that day, and told my ops sgt that I wanted to reclass to 94H. The ultimate selling point was that all the training is all here at Redstone. I would be able to start class without having to get a "return to duty" from the doctor. There would be no reason to rush my recovery, and I can stay on profile. And frankly, after how badly my last experience with the needs of the Army (which sent me to EOD) turned out, I didn't want to take any chances. I went with one of the guaranteed MOSes. Lucky me my ops sgt was a mind reader, and he already had a reclass packet for me for 94H done. I read through everything and signed. It was done, and I have been playing the "waiting to start class" game ever since.

My New Hobby
Well, one of my buddies who has moved on to his next duty station has got me into a new hobby, shooting. The past two weeks, I have been going to one of the indoor pistol ranges in Huntsville. This is my first time with pistols, but I always have a good time. It's also a great way to get out some frustration. I am by no means good, but at least I can hit the damn target. Okay, so the target is only at 25m, but I nailed body shots every time. My grouping was pretty pitiful though. So now I'm thinking of buying a pistol for myself. It's pretty easy to get a permit here, and I will be here for close to a year. For now I'll stick to renting them at the range, which adds up after a while. But military and law enforcement shoot for free on Tuesdays at this range, so that is a bit of a break on the bank account.

The past two times, I rented a Springfield XD .40, which I like a lot. I also fired the revolver my buddy rented. I have no idea what it was, but it was freaking huge! I was afraid the recoil would knock me into the wall. Of course I was over-reacting. I calmed down and nailed a couple of head shots with it. It felt great! Me likey my new hobby. :)

Lessons Learned
My first year in the Army is almost at an end. It's been a miserable experience for me, but if I've learned anything about myself, it's this:

Life is full of surprises. Don't let the bad stuff keep you down because you never know what could come next.
It's taken me almost a year to adjust, but I am much better equipped to handle bullshit. I hear it, find a way to deal with it, finish out the duty day, vent a little (or a lot), go to sleep, and wake up to a new day. There are very few things that a little peon SPC like me has control over. Just do what I can for myself and everyone around me (which sometimes involves an ass-chewing) and move on.
When assigned to crap details, a sense of humor improves the situation immensely!
Surround myself with good people and good soldiers. There is so much I have learned from their experiences.
Look out for the people around you. Not everyone will show emotion or ask for help when they know it's needed. It's important to be there for them when they are ready.
It's cheap to be a barracks rat, but I need to let go and have an adventure once in a while. I don't want to reflect on a life that I let go to waste.

Tired of waiting

2007-10-06T14:33:00.000-05:00

I'm still really pissed at that doctor for giving me that one-month, almost dead-man profile. I just want to be MOS-qualified in something. . . ANYTHING at this point! I plan on just letting my profile expire and see how I do in regular PT. About 3 pain-free weeks, but I don't really do much.

On Wednesday, my cadre platoon sergeant pulled me out of formation and asked me the "hard question." Do I really want to do EOD? Well, that's easy. . . no! I sit at the company almost all day every day and meet other soldiers that are waiting for class, in class, or graduating and moving on to phase 2 in Florida. They all talk about how much they want to do EOD. "EOD or bust" is something spouted regularly. But i don't have that same desire. And that bothers me. I doubt I could get through 9 months of training in something i have no desire for. I was essentially forced into this MOS. With my injuries, I couldn't take the bomb suit test although the NCOIC did let me start class for a while. So, I told me psgt then (and my operations sgt yesterday) that I want to reclass. I'm not sure how this will work out. My reenlistment window (2 years left on my contract) begins in January. 9 months in the Army, and I still don't have a job. I just want to be of use to the Army! I'm wasting away in fucking holding! This sucks! No matter what happens, I cannot submit any reclass paperwork until I get off med hold. I can't get out of med hold until the doctor finds me fit for duty. Only then I can submit the paperwork and wait another month or two for new AIT orders. Why me?! :(

Some good news around here. . .

Sept. 15 to Oct. 15 is Hispanic-American Heritage month, and essay and display board contests were held. Well yours truly was one of the soldiers working on the display for my company, with two days notice for a full hands-on display. Originally, we helped put up a bulletin board, but the commander wanted a hands-on display. So, with two days notice, we were able to borrow some items about Hispanic culture and put together a small table. Well, the judges like it and awarded us 2nd place. Not bad for a 2-day warning! The cadre thought so too, so I get to be a Warrior of the Week next week. This doesn't mean anything, except that I have lunch with the BN CO and CSM sometime next week. A few weeks ago, I had lunch with GEN Wallace, the TRADOC commander (which I may or may not have written about, I'm too lazy to check), so I've done one of these business luncheons in the past.

A few things that happened that I think should be noted are a couple of my buddies here that stepped up to the plate the past two weeks. There was a helicopter crash here in the Huntsville area, and three soldiers from Ft. Campbell were killed. A couple of people were tasked out to accompany their remains back to Campbell. They didn't know what the detail entailed when they were tasked out, but they were very professional, including when they had to handle the actual remains. They took great care of them. Last week, the 1SG asked for volunteers to perform a funeral detail for a warrant officer that passed away. Six guys stepped up, got their class A's squared away, and spent all day until nearly 2000 at that funeral.
The BN CO and CSN thought so as well and presented them with certificates of appreciation yesterday afternoon, though I figured they would have at least been awarded an AAM.

To end this on a good note: This is a 4-day weekend for us! Now if you'll excuse me, I cannot let this decent weather go to waste. :)

Nothing worth writing about so I will ramble

2007-09-23T12:20:00.000-05:00

I haven't posted in a long ass time, mainly because my situation really hasn't changed. I'm still in medical hold unfortunately. I went to sick call a week ago to try and get my profile upgraded to "run at own pace and distance" so I could take the bomb suit test. I told the nursing student (assisting the doctor that day) that I had been power walking during PT, and I had been pain-free for almost a week even with the workouts I was doing. The student took my information down and went to the doctor's office to discuss it. A while later, the doctor personally came in and threw a 1 month near-dead man profile in my face. Basically, the only think I can do is upper body weight training. No push-ups, sit-ups, running, lifting, and in the additional comments section, the doctor added in (and I quote) "NO POWER WALKING OR CARDIO WALKING." Basically, I cannot do PT with the company. Then I got an ass-chewing by the doctor for not resting like I was told (by both him and the specialist off post that I saw). He poked fun at me a little. He told the student that any times they have a problem getting soldiers to get motivated to get off profile, but I'm too motivated and need to slow down.

Okay, so I may have been pushing it a little, but come on! No pain! The doc said that no pain means that I haven't done anything to hurt myself worse. Now I need to keep resting before I am able to build my body back up. Good Lord this is frustrating! The more life-experienced soldiers are telling me that I need to stop and take it easy, and I know that! But I can't keep doing nothing forever! At least I'm getting closer to the bomb suit test.

So, I have a lot of time on my hands during the day, and I'm trying to keep busy and keep my mind active. I enrolled in eArmyU and signed up for a couple of language and business courses, checked out books from the library (mostly pleasure reading but I want to work through the Army Chief of Staff's reading list).For the past couple of weeks, I've been learning how to play spades. It can be a fun game, but I think 2 hours at a time is my limit. I'm a beginner playing with more serious players so all the strategy (and trash talking) in the game is intriguing. I have learned a few things through that will stay with me through my time in the Army:

Never play spades with NCOs
Never play spades with soldiers who have deployed
never play spades with soldiers who are prior Navy
When the trash talking increases, they probably made a mistake and are trying to keep you from catching it

In other news. . .

. . . my brother is doing very well. He's almost a month into his senior year in high school so he has the SATs and college on his mind. He also had his senior pictures taken, and I must say he looks very handsome! :)

. . . my birthday is once again here. I turn 24 tomorrow, and I really don't know what to think. This time last year, I was a college student. I've been through a lot of physical, mental, and emotional challenges since then. Nothing has gone the way I expected. . . but I'm still here and slowly but surely moving forward. And I've met some incredible people who have stood by me and helped me get through each challenge. I think that's probably the best birthday present I could have ever received. :)

Hey, I guess I did have something to write about after all!

Back in Purgatory

2007-09-01T19:55:00.000-05:00

I returned from Redstone late Tuesday night. The rest of the week was spent telling people where the hell I was for the past week and catching up on the goings-on in the company. Aside from a few interesting stories, I did not miss much.

Leave was fun. I did what I came there for and drove my brother to his appointments so my parents wouldn't have to take too much time off from work. But I also had awesome tex-mex and good, strong margaritas every night. I caught up with my extended family, most of whom I haven't seen since last Christmas. My dogs actually remembered me and tackled me as soon as I walked through the door. I caught up with my neighbors. I can't believe all the kids I used to babysit are now off to college! I'm so old! :(

On Thursday, my baby brother called me with the news that my family and I and many of you were praying to hear. His oncologist said that he does not need chemotherapy right now! Thank you GOD! It seems that his surgery was enough and based on the obscene amount of tests they ran on him, the cancer did not spread like they originally thought. He has to go in for scans every 3 weeks to make sure it doesn't spread. If the tests show signs of the cancer spreading then he will have to start chemo. But for now, he's in the clear!!! Thank you so much to every single one of you who offered your support and prayers! The news was a huge relief to my family and me. My brother was especially excited. His biggest fear was losing his hair. :)

As for me, my hip is still bothering me so I was referred to an ortho specialist. After waiting two hours and getting x-rays, I was told to keep doing what I had been doing. . . rest. I was definitely not happy about that! I have a follow-up in 4 weeks, and maybe I can start the walk-to-run program after that. Oh, I'm closer. I was also told I have bursitis in my left hip (wow, that hurt to find out!) and irritation in the back of my left knee. Hmm, didn't know I had all that going on in me. Is there any part of my body that is healthy? :/

The good news is that my 1SG told me that she is expecting me to go back to class, so they are giving me the time to heal before attempting the bomb suit test. Some hope! Here's to getting healthy and making it through 89D! :)

Posting from home in San Antonio

2007-08-23T08:32:00.000-05:00

It only took 3 days but I finally got my leave form approved yesterday and left on the next flight available. There was a holdup getting the Red Cross message to me, and then tracking down the CO for a signature. I asked for 8 days, and ended up getting 7 because it took so long to get approved. Hey, they handed me a signed leave form. There was no way I was going through all that crap again just for one extra day!

Touched down in SA around 3:30, and my brother was waiting for me at the airport. First thing he said, "Damn you've gained a lot of weight!" Nice to see you too brother! :/
I haven't seen him since 2 Jan, the day I left for Army BCT, and I have gained like 20 lbs since I've been in. It's not all bad weight, but I can only burn so many calories when it hurts to do damn near anything (although I can finally do ab exercises without pain now!).

Brother is doing okay, but we really haven't talked about his stuff. It's kind of the like the big elephant in the room that no one wants to mention. I did finally talk to my mom about how it was in the doctor's office last Friday when they found out about the cancer. They all cried. My brother asked about surgery, but they said chemo was the better route. She said yesterday was the first time she was able to talk about it and finally tell her co-workers. I wish I could have been there with them. :(

But I'm here now. And I'll be here until next Tuesday. Damn this is tough! And I haven't even given any more thought to the whole "stay in or separate from the Army" question I have in the back of my mind.

I will say though that I have met some of my closest friends since joining the Army. Whether it's grabbing chow at the DFAC together, dragging me out of my room to go hang out, listening to me about my brother, or sending me text messages to check up on me and make me laugh (you all know who you are!). Damn, I love you all and I thank you for keeping me from falling to pieces during all this injury and now family stuff I've had to deal with! You all have no idea how thankful I am to have met each and every one of you! Love you! :)

Worst day of my life

2007-08-18T11:21:00.000-05:00

I don't think my paperwork has gone through yet, but I'm back in med hold. The NCOIC let me stay in class yesterday so I didn't have to go back to the company. I'm in a shitty situation but that's nothing compared to what my family is going through back home. I found out on Thursday that my baby brother (he's 17 now but I always call him my baby brother) went in for a routine physical, and the doctor found a growth. It was a tumor and he had emergency surgery to have it removed. My mom gave me the news last night. It was cancerous. The doctor estimated that he's had it for about 8 months to a year, so just removing the tumor isn't enough. He has to start chemotherapy as soon as possible, as in next week. :(

I just can't fathom this. He's 17! He's starts his senior year in high school in 2 weeks! And I'm stuck here for now! All I can think about is him and helping my family. I'm in med hold now. I'm just going to be sitting on my ass here. With my civil engineering degree, I can make A LOT more money in the civilian world. Talked to a couple of my friends about all this last night. It feels like medical separation from the Army may be the thing to do. I don't want to leave. I feel like I'm quitting.

- Stay in, sit on my ass in med hold, maybe get healthy enough to take the bomb suit test, and attempt the 9 months of training followed by a 2 year commitment (or not get healthy and be forced to reclass needs of the Army again)? Since I don't have to pay for housing, food, utilities, health insurance, and personal expenses, I pocket every paycheck.

- Try for a medical separation, make more money on the civilian side for my family, but risk never being able to serve in any military branch ever again? I'll have to pay for living expenses, health insurance, etc., but I'll be home and able to help out.

God, this is the hardest thing I've ever gone through. What do I do? A lot of my friends said that I'm selling myself short by staying in, but serving is what I wanted to do. That feeling inside me wouldn't go away, and I finally acted on it and signed up. Nothing has gone right for me since then. I've used up a lot of energy trying to keep my uniform. How can I just walk away? But I can't ignore my family. Damn, what do I do? :(

Well that was short-lived :(

2007-08-16T16:58:00.000-05:00

Literally about 30 minutes ago, the NCOIC caught me as I was leaving the building after class and told me that they decided to take me out of class. They're submitting the paperwork to put me in med hold tomorrow. There is no amount of words to describe how upset and disappointed I am right now. This fucking sucks! I got a freaking taste of EOD school, and that's all that I needed! I want to stay in class! I want to work towards something. I don't want to go back to fucking purgatory! Do I have a fucking "kick me" sign on my back or something?! I asked if they were going to at least let me stay in EOD school or if I would have to reclass, and he could not even tell me that!

I have no idea what med hold here will entail. I don't know if I go to another unit or stay here in the ORD BN. Damnit! I can't believe this shit!!

The news is good!

2007-08-14T17:47:00.000-05:00

Yes!!! I was a little uneasy about just showing up, but it was a good thing I did. The NCOIC asked about why I had to leave OCS, about my profile, and how my recovery was going. He talked to the SGM, and they are going to let me continue with the class without taking the bomb suit test. . . yet. :)

I have to update them on my recovery. If it's taking too long, I will have to be rolled out of class until I'm healthy enough to take the test. I do have to take and pass it before I move on to Phase 2 training in FL. I can't just bypass a set requirement for this field. I just get more time. I did have to promise that I would not, under any circumstances, ask the doctor for a profile that would allow me to take the bomb suit test. So, they are very serious about me taking care of my body and not rushing recovery. So, that ass-kicking offer I made in my last post is still in effect!

This is the best news I could have heard today! Thank you God, I'm finally off hold status!!! :)

Moving on, EOD school is no joke. I'll have about 8 hours of class a day, plus study hall for 2 hours each night before a training day (normally Sunday-Thursday). We were told we'll take about 4-7 pages of notes per hour! Damn, my hands are going to cramp up tomorrow. From this point forward, we have to treat our training as classified. We are under strict regulations about what goes in and comes out of the EOD building. Basically, if it comes from class, it cannot leave the building. If we have something that can store information, it's not allowed inside the building, including cell phones and backpacks. I'm going to have my hands full starting tomorrow. 8 tests in just as many days!

Today was mainly intro briefings. Almost all the civilian instructors are retired EOD, SFC and above. Most are retired SGM. They had a lot to say about EOD, good and bad. The one absolute rule: No "h-word" allowed! (starts with 'h', ends with 'ooah'). The NCOIC said that word means a lot of shit, but it sounds stupid, and we're here to be smart. First violation gets a warning. Second violation means rucking a 100-lb field artillery round through the building. Third violation gets a whole lot worse (what the NCOIC said). Apparently, the "h-word" not a big no-no in EOD land!

So, it's all working itself out now. All I have to do is remain patient (ass-kickings when necessary!). What a relief! :)

Done!

2007-08-13T18:07:00.000-05:00

We aren't scheduled to finish Annex A until Wednesday, but I finished right at 1600 today. I had to retake the last performance test three times, but I got a GO. The next class for Annex B starts tomorrow, but I have no idea if I'll be able to get in. The plan at this moment is to show up and see what happens.

Physical therapy is going okay. Too slow for my liking though. I talked to my doctor about stepping up the exercises and maybe a little jogging. He shut me down, thank goodness! Someone please just kick my ass next time I think about rushing my recovery! :/

This past weekend was one of my keep-in-touch weekends. I've always been really bad about keeping in touch with people, so thank you Facebook and Myspace. I should also give a big thanks to unlimited text messaging. I wore out my thumbs. :(

Friends are all doing fairly well. I have a lot more friends who are 2LTs now. Can we still be friends? Also, some of the ones who had to leave OCS without their butter bars are headed back for another shot (or going around through direct commission). I'm glad for them. The Army almost lost some good people! They all say that I have to find a way to earn that butter bar. One day maybe. It is still very much an option for me. That's pretty much the reason I want to avoid a permanent profile. Well, that and I would get kicked out of EOD school too. Come on body! You're the only one I get, so keep up with my heart!

So, I started class today

2007-08-07T20:13:00.000-05:00

Despite all the problems I've been trying to work through (on profile so cannot take the diagnostic APFT or the bomb suit test, haven't signed the volunteer statement, haven't been interviewed, haven't extended my contract, back in physical therapy, etc.), I started the first part of training today. I was off to a great start when our cadre told us repreatedly to report at 0820 (I asked to be sure that I was attending because of the setbacks I have to deal with). We walk in just in time to hear the end of the orientation briefing. We were supposed to be there at 0730! :/

According to everyone else, we didn't miss much. After that, we got briefed about the computers, learning software, and course rules, went to lunch, and then worked on the modules for a few hours. This part, called Annex A, involves basic electricity principles, and it is self-paced. Basically, I sit at my computer station, read the screen, hit enter, follow the idiot-proof instructions for the experiments, hit enter, take the module tests, and hit enter. I occasionally take notes when I feel like I need to. Notes won't do too much good right now since all class material (including handwritten notes, manuals, etc.) has to stay locked into the classroom. We can only get our hands on the materials during class or study hall (2 hours every afternoon and on the weekend). According to everyone else, Annex A is the easy part. The intensity goes waaaay up after this.

Healthwise, the best news I could have gotten from that whole body bone scan was that I DO NOT have a stress fracture in my femur. I have a shin splint (basically an early stress fracture) in my hip. :(

The physical therapist treating me said it's a tricky area. The pain is at the point where all my thigh muscles meet, which is why it hurts whenever I do anything more than sit still. He started me on some heat treatment for my hip. He described it as "microwaving my hip." It does help a little. I hurt the most in the morning (everything hurts), but the pain lessens to a really annoying discomfort by the end of the day. And of course, I go to sleep, wake up, and repeat the cycle every day. He has me doing some stretching exercises once a day, wearing a neoprene sleeve as high up as I can get it on my thigh during waking hours, and a strict profile (no running, no situps, no marching, no standing more than 15 min/hr). Basically, if it hurts, I need to stop doing it. And once again, I am relegated to the sidelines. :/

Damnit! I want to get healthy! I know that I'm doing what I need to be doing. I already got the lectures from my dad (retired Army LTC) and my uncle (Marine MGySgt) about keeping my priorities straight and my head in the game, and fighting through the bullshit to get what I want. They also volunteered themselves as backup in case I have an problems. Gotta love being from a military family! :)

What I want:
1. Get healthy
2. Stay in the Army
3. Get MOS-qualified

Easier said than done!

Oh please not again! :(

2007-07-31T20:14:00.000-05:00

Oh boy!

Long story short (which my writing never is), I went to talk to the EOD training department about my situation. Basically, EOD is a volunteer MOS. No one can be made to complete the school. Well, I didn't volunteer. Even though EOD does interest me, it was needs of the Army that brought me here. I haven't taken the suit test, been interviewed, or signed the volunteer statement. Also, EOD requires a time commitment upon completion of training (I can't remember at the moment if it's 2 or 4 years, but it's at least 3 years starting now). But I only have 2 years and 5 months left on my contract. So, I need a contract extension.

But before I get to all that. . . I spoke to the training NCO who gives the suit test. He flat out told me that he will not let me take it until I get off profile AND recovery (which is 1.5 times recovery length, so basically 2.5 times profile length), finish physical therapy, and the doctor gives me a Return to Duty. The suit test is a one-time deal. If I fail it, I can never come back to EOD. If I drop on request (which I have no idea if I'm considered as requesting this MOS), I'll never be able to try for EOD again. Ahem! The things they don't tell you. :/

The NCO said that if I really want to be EOD, I should keep him updated about my situation, and he would work to try and keep me in medical holding. Of course, the final say on medical hold comes from my doctor and my chain of command, not him. And to be honest, as much as EOD intrigues me, I'm not sure I can take another hold situation for months. I'm debating taking my chances with reclassing for a shorter AIT, possible something in personnel or supply. I've alway hated desk work, but it's looking more like the less physically-demanding MOSes are something I have to take in order to heal up. But even then, I'll still be on profile, have a stint in a holding company, and have to pass a regular PT test to graduate AIT. But I will be MOS-qualified and experience the regular Army sooner. Once I'm healthy and approved by the chain of command, I can head back to OCS. But EOD is a good MOS, quite dangerous and physical but comes with many benefits and opportunities as well. Sorry for all the 'buts.' This has pretty much been my thoughts, verbatim, for the past couple of days.

I swear, if I knew then what I know now about stress fractures, I would have kept going until I broke through my bones. I remember how bad the pain was, but recovering from broken bones seems so much quicker than the months it takes for stress fractures. Coulda. . . woulda. . . didn't. :/

I know my situation is not terrible. There are much worse things going on in the world. My situation feels like one big mental beatdown. I just feel so lost, and I may have another hard decision coming my way.

And before I can talk to my chain of command about med hold and everything, I have to get the official results from my whole body bone scan. But I could see the fractures light up on the screen from where I was laying down. So, they are still there. Even worse, they are now in my left femur. So, I was getting better, and then I pushed too hard and ended up at EOD school in worse shape health-wise. I'm just waiting to go to sick call for the official diagnosis. :(

Even worse news. . .

I just found out a few hours ago, that one of the guys from my BCT platoon was killed in a car accident last week:
http://www.nydailynews.com/boroughs/2007/07/27/2007-07-27_police_chase_accident_kills_guardsman_mo-1.html

Very sad circumstances. His family and loved ones are in my thoughts and prayers. Love you B! Punishers!

A small amount of good news:

Today we did push-up and sit-up circuit training. It wasn't easy, but I was nowhere near muscle failure. We did 3 rotations of 6 stations for 1 min, then 45 sec, then 30 sec at each station. I am proud to say than I can now do diamond push-ups with correct form! Not bad for someone who couldn't even do 1 regular pushup less than a year ago. One day soon, I will max out my push-ups (only 46) and sit-ups (80). I'll work on that run time later. ;)

Going on my Third Night at Redstone

2007-07-26T21:35:00.000-05:00

I was still on a limited walking profile when I left Ft. Benning, so I had to get off profile in order to take the EOD suit test, which is needed to start class. From what I heard, the suit test is about 30 minutes and pretty much tests if you are claustrophobic. The bomb suit weighs about 80 lbs and you have to some PT (push-ups, climb over walls, etc.). The other test involves lifting and carrying a dummy field artillery round, another 98 lbs. I can't even walk without pain! How the hell am I supposed to get through the required suit test?! Word is that there is one chance and failing the suit test means reclassing, which is another memo with the top 25 MOSes. :/

I'm starting to feel like I should have chaptered out. :(

Anyway, the suit test will have to wait. I went to sick call this morning to get evaluated for a possible RTD (return to duty). Like I said, I'm still in pain, now in places that weren't hurting before! The doctor gave me a two week no running profile and scheduled me for a full body scan tomorrow morning, just to make sure my stress fractures are gone. So, until I get off profile, I cannot take the suit test, and I can't start EOD until I pass the suit test. Damnit! I'm so freaking frustrated!! I've been in pain every day since Day 1 of BCT! I just want it to go away so I can train in something and be of some use! Damnit! I never should have fell for the "where's your pride" shit that the OCS HHC cadre played on me. I was getting better, and then I let them push me. I did too much too fast, and I hurt myself worse! The only way I am willing to step foot in OCS HHC again is as a company commander.

I talked to my cadre platoon SGT, and he said he would be my advocate for possible med hold until I'm healthy enough for the suit test. There are quite a few med holds here. If they don't let me, I have to reclass to another MOS. Injuries are why I had to leave OCS. I just don't want to be kicked out of another MOS. :(

Moving on, Redstone seems like a decent place. Compared to Ft. Benning, it's pretty damn small. The PX and commissary are only a mile away, compared to the freaking 10 minute drive at Benning. The gym here is definitely lacking! There are few gyms that can compare to Ft. Benning's new gym. It opened a month before I left, but it was freaking awesome, especially the indoor pools, whirlpool, and sauna. The intercom radio sucked though. It played a lot of crappy music (real slow stuff), and the sound was always going in and out, especially during songs I liked. The best part so far is being an MOS-T. Since I have more than 6 months time in service, I'm considered prior service, so I'm assigned to the transition platoon in the prior service AIT company. Basically, we do PT, go to PLT formations, do details if we have to (I had area beautification this afternoon), and make ourselves disappear if we're not assigned to anything. Whenever someone mentions something like "you've been in the Army longer than a day. You know how things work." I always feel like I'm lying. But the cadre know, and there have been a few former OCs that were in our situation and were considered prior service. I still have the "Benning school for boys" mindset. I haven't PTed with the company yet, but from what I've heard, it's not as demanding as OCS HHC (the only damn thing I will admit to liking about that place, besides getting to know a lot of really good candidates, was push-up and sit-up PT). Also, there is no lights out. Just be on time for formation. I also have this nagging feeling when I'm not assigned to a detail that I'm doing something wrong. I have this urge to rake dirt, even though there's actual grass around here. :)

So, I'm getting my second barracks experience. Only these are nicer than the OCS barracks. There's carpet instead of bare floors, a closet, a real mattress, and a bath tub! Yay! :)

Got the word! :)

2007-07-17T21:05:00.000-05:00

I had so much more to write about from the past week (crasy-ass stuff), but this news is better than that!

I officially get my orders tomorrow, but the Army has decided to put me to use in MOS 89D - Explosive Ordnance Disposal (EOD)! I said (may have posted it previously), but I told myself that if I was not selected for OCS that I would go EOD. Now's my chance. Funny how stuff like that works out. So yes, I'm very happy with this even though it was #5 on my list. I called my mom, and she was less than supportive, as expected. Basically, I told her that her crap didn't work to keep me from joining the Army, and it's not going to work to keep me from EOD. She dropped it after that. I told her to spread the word to family and friends back home. The best part of this whole thing: I finally get out of HHC! Yes, yes, YES!!!! You cannot believe how big my smile has been since I found out! :)

The Army isn't taking it's time. I have to report to Redstone Arsenal, AL on 27 JUL for Phase 1. Yes, that's next Friday. I have to turn in my TA-50 (issued field gear), pack my stuff, sell the rest of my OCS packing list, get my car checked out, etc. Ahhhh! My mind is running a mile a minute right now, but I am just so happy I will finally get out of Groundhogs Day! :)

I'm in waiting for the Phase 2 class that starts on 15 OCT at Eglin AFB, FL. I have to spend 9 months in school near Pensacola, FL. Yeah, poor me! ;)

Now, having said all that, nothing that I have done since graduating high school has gone the way I planned. So I'm not expecting a smooth ride once I start this. EOD school is hard. I believe Phase 2 has about an 85% failure rate, and I'm still on profile and banged up. Our XO has us doing PT in the morning and then going to the gym in the afternoons. Basically two-a-days and it's been killing my lower body. Now I have pain in my knees and left hip. Since the XO is off profile and can run now, the rest of us "run at own pace and distance" profiles have to run with him on regular PT. Yesterday we did Cardiac Hill. We took the long way, ran down little Cardiac Hill (ow!), ran up big Cardiac Hill (ow ow!), ran back down Cardiac Hill (oh shit ow!), and then started to run up backwards (f- this, f-that, f-you, holy f-ing shit, etc.). Yeah, that crap isn't good for stress fractures. Now the smart person would listen to common sense and stop. Well, HHC has yet to rob me of my pride, and I paid dearly for it! I was near tears going down and running up backwards was unbearable! My 1SG ordered me to stop. Basically, I was pretty damn pale and was close to passing out from the pain. I remember the XO asking me if I was okay. I didn't say anything to him because I was trying to keep my mind off the pain. He just looked at me, said "hooah" and took off. 1SG pulled me after that. I was a freaking idiot! Now I can't even run at all. Walking is pretty painful. So, I'm back on a limited walking profile (can only run to do the walk-to-run program 3x week). I'm not sure how this will work at AIT. I'll find out when I get there.

Ahh, that's it for now. Lights out now, but I don't think I can sleep. I can't wipe this smile off my face! G'night! :)

2007-07-06T20:09:00.000-05:00

Lots of changes

First full diagnostic APFT in over 3 months

We had a PT test two Fridays ago, and I decided to do the entire thing, including the 2-mile run. If I passed it, I could take my case to the CO to let me stay for Delta Co, which starts around July 30. I was okay on my push-ups. I'm always just okay on push-ups. Time to hit the weights! As far as sit-ups go, I was fairly happy. When the grader counted 41, I realized that the 1 minute mark hadn't been called yet. Just then, the timer announced 1 minute. Holy crap! I just did 41 sit-ups in 1 minute! I'm on pace to max my sit-ups. Of course, what happens when your mind wanders and you start to think about crap like that? Yep, I hit a wall and could only crank out 20 after that. Crap! The run on the other hand was dismal. I hadn't run anything close to 2 miles in 2 months, and that was 2 weeks of 3-mile intervals before I got my stress fractures taken care of. I was on crutches during the month before that. So, I am pretty much starting from scratch. Needless to say, I didn't make it. I missed my time by 1:30, and had quite a bit of pain from my stress fractures. My ankle held up okay, even though it felt like it was going numb towards the end. It's just not strong enough yet. I still wear the brace.

I am a little happy because 1:30 is completely doable (yay for moral victories!), but female run times are very slow. I still have a lot of work to do. So, I'm still headed to AIT. Even if I had passed the diagnostic PT test, my CO told those of us in my situation that our paperwork is too far along to bring it back. Enough about that.

LTs snowbirding in HHC

We have two new LTs as cadre in HHC. One is prior-enlisted and graduated from OCS last year I believe. I've really only seen him during PT and sometimes at our close-of-business formations. I think he's also snowbirding as the HHC XO in Airborne. The other is snowbirding as our XO. He's from ROTC and recovering from a broken ankle before heading to BOLC II. Basically, they said we're unmotivated and undisciplined, which is quite true for many here. They're making quite a few changes here in HHC, to make it more like the in-class companies.

For one, we're now organized into squads, and our NCOIC decided to make yours truly a squad leader. I'm not sure how long this will last, because there are always people coming and going - week inserts, PT failures, medical recycles, new arrivals, etc. It's been 4 days, and I've already got new OCs assigned to me and had one leave. Before, our student chain of command was the cadre, officer candidates in charge (OCIC, AOCIC), and bay bosses (male and female since we live in separate areas and males are not allowed anywhere near the female bay). I'm not sure where the bay bosses fit in now, but I believe they are still needed, mainly because we have two really good ones right now.

The XO also schedules classes for us on Tuesdays and Thursdays. The Tuesday classes are taught by us OCs about whatever topics the XO assigns. My group is giving the class on Tuesday. We are also assigned homework now. Our first assignment (due yesterday) was to write an operations order (OPORD) for a squad given an OPORD for the platoon. The meeting when he gave it out was only for those classing up, so I stayed at my detail during the time of the meeting. Since I'm now a squad leader, I felt like I had to do the assignment as well (also because I've never done one before). Now this I like! We get out of details (and some of the companies and S-shops are getting lazy with the stuff they are requesting us to do), and I get to learn a few things. The only thing I don't like is when the XO emphasizes he's preparing us to "cross the street" because, of course, it just reminds me again and again (it's pretty much every other sentence he says) that I'm leaving OCS.

The other thing I like about the XO is that he's made profile PT much better as far as push-ups and sit-ups go. Yesterday morning, we did 100 push-ups straight followed immediately by 100 sit-ups (without someone holding out feet), and then a run. I was last to finish the push-ups and sit-ups by a good amount of time. Like I said, I'm only okay on push-ups so I had to drop to my knees for the last 30 reps. I did fine on the sit-ups. For the run, I attempted 4 times of walk 1/4, run 1/2 with another OC. Our first 1/2 was over a 10 min. pace! Wow, that was slow, but we ran each 1/2 faster than the last. Our last 1/2 was at an 8 min. pace. My stress fractures were hurting though, so I need to take it easy.

Tough it out?! :/

The OCS LT called most of us out for our profiles. "Come on guys. I've looked through your profiles and a lot of you have long profiles for really minor things. I mean, I've got 9 pins in my ankle and bad tendons. I'm not supposed to run, but I do anyway. You guys need to get some heart and tough it out." So are we or are we not supposed to violate our profiles? Thank you for your words sir, but I do not want 9 pins in my ankle, worn out tendons, or any other permanent injury at 23 years old. I'm being involuntarily released from OCS due to medical reasons, and I am eligible to come back once I am healthy (and if my chain of command gives me the okay). I've heard time and time again from so many prior-service OCs here that no military school is worth permanent injury, and a permanent profile will take away any chance I have of coming back to OCS. Toughing it out is part of why I've been on profile for over 3 months. Thankfully, I was strongly encouraged by my cadre to take care of my ankle right away, especially since the injury turned out to be a lot worse than what was first diagnosed. But I tried to hide my stress fractures, and ended up putting myself through months of agony. It got to the point where I could not sleep at night and cried (I've only admitted that to one person before) because of the pain, and that was just lying in bed with no weight on my legs. Getting up, walking around, and lifting details were unbearable. I wanted to be strong and "tough it out," and I did for as long as I could, but I had to think about the future and do what is best for me. The Army will get its money's worth out of me, and it's up to me to take care of myself. So, here I am, still on profile but getting better.

Follow-up with my doctor

Went to sick call to see my doctor yesterday (after PT!). Basically, he said I am in the ballpark as far as time goes for recovery from stress fractures and my ankle, about 8-10 weeks to start walk-to-run. I told him about all the lifting details I've been on since I'm one of the "least hurt" at HHC, and how my stress fractures were hurting from those details. He was a little pissed and made my profile more strict. I also have to go back to PH 4, and I cannot step back up to PH 5 until the pain goes away. Damnit! At least I know I am close to where I am supposed to be as far as recovery goes. It just feels like forever though! But my future, my health! Gotta keep that in mind.

Out on the Town

For the past couple of weekends, I've explored a few non-military hangouts (yes, they are far away from Victory Drive!). From my last post, I visited some of the local parks (the mark is still there!). I have since gone swimming almost every weekend since the pools opened, karaoked my little tone-deaf ass off (still too chickenshit to do it alone though), eaten at different non-chain restaurants, and played a lot of pool (very badly but getting better). Those places had much different atmospheres than the clubs on Broadway St. I felt at home in my signature t-shirt, jeans, and flip flops. Fun times, and some very fun memories. I like exploring new places, and everyone says I'm smiling a lot more now. :)

I want to go fishing sometime, but I have no equipment, boat, license, or know of any place to fish. I've been tempted to buy one of those kiddy Mickey Mouse poles (or the even cheaper stick with a line) and hunt for worms. If anyone has any recommendations on things to do in the area (must be within 25 miles of Fort Benning), please let me know!

After lights out now

2007-06-24T21:22:00.001-05:00

but I had a good workout at the 1 mile track tonight, and I felt the need to share it.

I did another session of phase 4 (walk 1/4, run 1/4 for 2 miles) of the walk-to-run program, and I felt pretty good. I felt minimal pain in my left tibia and no pain in my right ankle until the very end of the 2 miles. This was quite a change from last week's PH 4 session! Is that improvement that I'm seeing? I do believe it is! :)

Even better, my slowest 1/4 run was at an 8 min/mile pace. Of course I was sucking wind and the end so I need to hit the stationary bike on my off days to help build up my cardio. I think I'll do another PH 4 tomorrow. If all goes well, I'll be on PH 5 (3 sets of walk 1/4, run 1/2) by Wednesday. I'm also keeping up with my push-ups and sit-ups. The muscle failure PT days pretty much kick my ass every time, but they do help a lot.

I don't know. The next OCS class starts at the end of July, and it will be Delta Co. again. My AIT paperwork is already making its way through the system, but I plan on meeting with my company commander to ask if I could stay for Delta. That class is about 4 weeks away, and I'm making improvements. I've already accepted the AIT route, but I have to at least ask. I'm already here anyway. The worst the CO can say is no. The only negative thing is that Delta is already overbooked at 180 candidates plus a few holdovers in HHC. But I'm a medical recycle so I would have a hard slot, meaning that I just need to pass the initial APFT to secure a spot in the class. We will see!

Still here, still waiting

2007-06-20T15:15:00.000-05:00

AIT Orders

A couple of the guys that have been waiting nearly 2 months for their AIT orders finally got them this week. They'll be gone by Friday. I'm hoping to get my orders within the next 2-3 weeks. I've been in the Army for almost 6 months and all I've done is graduate BCT! Damn, I just want to move on to some type of training and my first duty station.

Ouch!

So, I went to Flat Rock park this past weekend. I first went to this park a couple of weekends ago with a buddy. He was being very protective of me and my ankle, so we didn't go to any of the trails. Near the entrance, there's a large, solid, smooth rock slope with some water flowing over it. That time, there were some young kids sliding down slope, and my buddy thought that would be fun. He helped me climb up the slope (still had my brace on), and tried to push me down the slope. Yeah, I'm a chickenshit, and he failed! So, he put on his swim trunks, sat in a puddle of water at the top of the rock slope (the key was to get wet first), slid feet first down the slope, hit the little pond in the crevase, and nailed the boulder at the bottom of the slope. Holy crap! I looked down to see if he was okay. Once he started to get up, I busted out laughing! Hey, at least I was a considerate friend and waited until he was okay before I started laughing at him! ;)

He made his way back up to where I was and decided that this time, he was going to wear his flip flops! Umm, this time? Umm, flip flops? Whatever. I just made sure that my cell phone was ready to record video when he took off this time. Yup, pretty much the same result, only it was all caught on tape. Ha ha! I was surprised that all he had was a small scratch on his arm, but he's pretty fit. It was a fun time, and I thanked him by showing the video to almost every HHC candidate. :)

Moving on, my buddy isn't here anymore. And I felt like a chickenshit. And it did look like fun. I'm sure you know where this is going! I went back to the park this past weekend with two friends and decided to stop being a chickenshit. Only I never made it. I was working my way up the slope (with no one helping me) when my feet flew out from under me. I landed on my right shoulder, and my head hit the ground pretty hard. When it hit, there was a white flash, and everything went black-and-white for a second. All I could do was sit upright in the puddle I was in and wait for the ringing to stop. There were two things going through my mind: 1. I think I have a concussion (I'm fine now); 2. At least this wasn't caught on video! My "friends" laughed their asses off! After a couple of minutes, the ringing finally stopped, but my shoulder was hurting pretty bad. It's been almost 4 days since it happened, and it still hurts. I somehow managed to do all the pushup and situp exercises this morning and DFAC pull-ups every day this week, but it freaking hurts! I'm not about to go to sick call though. I spent nearly 3 months trying to avoid that place. I'm not about to go back! Anyway, I can still move my arm. It just hurts when I do. Meh!

Run-Walk

I completed 2 sessions of Phase 3 (walk 1/4, run 1/4 for 1 mile) with no pain, so I moved myself to Phase 4 (same as PH 3 but for 2 miles) today. It's been pretty hot and humid lately, so we ran near 2030. The beginning of the 2nd mile is when that dreadful pain in my left tibia started up again. I thought my stress fracture would have healed but not yet apparently. I finished the workout, and iced my shin down for 20 minutes. Right now, it's elevated and will stay that way for much of the night. Tomorrow is a run day for PT, so we'll see how I hold up.

The Day I Was Waiting For

Of course, I'm not spending it like I thought I would. I'll probably be stacking books or sitting at a desk while the company I started with, Delta Co., graduates tomorrow. I still keep in touch with a lot of people from that class, and they always want to know how I'm doing and if I got my MOS yet. They also promised that if they are in my chain of command at all, they will work to get me back to OCS. Thanks fo the support! I want to come back, but I'm expecting to finish out my active duty contract as enlisted as well as deploy during that time. Anyway, congrats Class 05-07! :)

Rude awakening

2007-06-11T18:42:00.000-05:00

Last Saturday night was pretty boring, but I still went to bed fairly late. On Sundays, I usually get up whenever, shower, eat, do laundry, and still have plenty of time to make it to the 1230 mass. Unfortunately, I ended up having an earlier-than-expected wakeup followed by a looooong day. That was probably the worst way to end a weekend.

Around 0800, one of the girls on CQ woke me up. The guy that was assigned to 24-hour duty that day didn't show up at the 0730 start time, and they needed someone to get over there immediately. Since I was assigned to the duty on Monday, CQ assumed that I would work Mr. No-Show's shift, and he would work mine. Okay, I'll get my ass over there and relieve the poor guy stuck there now, but they better get freaking confirmation that No-Show will indeed be taking my shift. No way I'm working 48 hours straight on 5 hours sleep. For the record, No-Show had a reasonable excuse, showed up early to relieve me, and thanked me profusely. But I did lose half my weekend, and there was some stuff off-post I needed to take care of.

So, I get up, brush my teeth, wash my face, take a baby wipe shower, get dressed, grab my "keep me busy at night" bag and speed-walked over there by 0830. Yeah, I missed my breakfast, shower, and a freshly laundered uniform, so I wasn't happy or all that "fresh."

The SDO and SDNCOs were cool, so it wasn't all bad. My friend (the one not doing well) used to do this 24-hr duty a lot so the NCOs knew him quite well. They liked him a lot and wanted to visit him before he left. I wish I could too. The damn Airborne PVT I ended up with was. . . well, he was a typical 18 year old. Kid had 4 energy drinks and still slept half the time. Caffeine-free me managed to stay awake for 22 of the 24 hours, and that was with 5 hours of sleep to begin with. The PVT also had a fear of talking on the phone. But after a few hours of training him, he stopped panicking. Did I mention he "forgot" to tell his cadre and us that he had the chicken pox? Much appreciated PVT! :/

At 0715-ish Monday morning, No-Show showed up to relieve me. Thank you and good night! Well, not really. I dropped my stuff back in my wall locker, and went to sick call to get my MRI results. Around 0930, I found out the results. I have a partially torn ligament due to my really, really bad sprain in class plus all the times I sprained my ankle in BCT. But, it's not torn. So, no surgery will be needed, and I can start the walk-to-run program this week! Yes, yes, YES!

I was back at HHC by 1000, showered, changed, and was in bed by 1030, just in time to fall asleep before the lunch break. I only managed to sleep about 6 hours though. Since I've been at HHC, I rarely sleep through the night, but I doubt I will have any problem with that tonight!

One of the guys who's been waiting for his AIT orders finally got them today, after 1.5 months of waiting. Man, I feel like I'm never going to get out of here. At least in AIT, I'll get treated like shit, but I'll be working towards something. Here, HHC is last and forgotten in everything. I just want to move on. I've accepted what happened to me. I can look back on the day I fell, and it makes me mad that it was the last obstacle of the day, but it was a freak accident. There wasn't anything anyone could have done to change it. Now, my patience and positive thinking are wearing thin. Not just with my recovery but with non-OCS stuff. Reality can be cruel sometimes. :(

Damn

2007-06-06T18:19:00.000-05:00

There's been quite a few changes at HHC. Some of my friends in "permanent party HHC" finally got their paperwork back and moved on with their lives. We had some fun times. I was sad to see them go, but I wish them nothing but the best. They deserve that after being stuck in HHC for so long. There are also plenty of new faces here, some of whom read my blog before meeting me in person (hence, the last post).

Meanwhile, I am still chugging along. Delta Co., who I started OCS with, is graduating in about 2 weeks. I already know that will be a hard day for me, but I'm still proud of them. I see my former classmates in the DFAC, and they always ask how I'm doing. I'm not too fond of the responding look of pity I get when I tell them I'm going to AIT, but it's nice that they still care. I was told that my old squad (1st squad, 3rd Platoon) is the best in the company, and I could not be prouder of them.

I believe Echo Co. classes up a week before Delta graduates. That means for one week, I will know people in every OCS class. Wow! I'm not sure whether to be miserable about being here so long or happy that I'm so popular now. Yeah right! ;) I think I'll be happy for all the groundhogs and every candidate who are on their way to achieving their goal! :)

I had a great weekend doing nothing but hanging out with some friends, and one of them isn't doing well. I have my own thoughts, and they will remain my own. I'm just praying he'll make it through and be able to recover. Those of you in HHC know what I'm referring to. I'll leave it at that.

I finally got a package from my parents that I've been waiting on for over a week. It was a small picture album. Pictures of my graduation, going away/graduation party, my dogs, and my family. I loved it and called them last night to thank them. Among the other random news from home, my mom had some bad news for me. One of the guys I graduated high school with was killed in Iraq two weeks ago. I didn't know what to say, or what to think. I still don't.

I had my MRI for my right ankle this morning. I'd never had one before. Wow, those knocking and humming noises were loud! I'd hate to hear how they sound without ear plugs. I kept wanting to fall asleep, but I stayed awake. I was running on ~2 hours of sleep. If I fell asleep then, I probably wouldn't have woken up. Anway, I had to take off my boots and brace, empty my pockets, and take off all metal objects (even the hairpins in of my hair). I locked all of it in a small locker, and the tech left the key within my view. I laid down on the table, and the tech braced my foot and put padding all around to keep my foot still. He handed me earplugs (thankfully), and left me. I just laid there listening to the humming and knocking. The whole thing lasted almost an hour. I see my doctor on Monday to find out the results. I really don't know what to expect. If nothing shows up, I can start the walk-to-run program and work on my PT score. If something of concern is there. . . well, I'll find out on Monday.

I'm not in my usual writing mood, and I apologize for that. I've had all this on my mind for a while, and after today,I had to get it out.

The real world and internet world are starting to collide. . .

2007-05-29T18:11:00.000-05:00

. . . and I feel like I need to apologize to any of you who have met me in person. For anyone who has, I'm sorry about the weird look I most likely gave you! Even though this blog is available for anyone on the internet to see, I never expected it to go beyond my family and friends. I must say that I greatly reading all your comments and e-mails about my writing and encouragement through my recovery. I'm glad this blog has helped (and/or entertained) so many people. :)

I skimmed most of my posts, and it has been an interesting journey. Last Memorial Day, I was a regular college student giving middle school students a tour around campus and imagining what OCS would be like. This year, I'm a soldier. I made it through BCT, and I'm all too familiar with how classing up works. I'm an Officer Candidate, but it just isn't my time. . . yet.

My first Memorial Day as a soldier went okay. The weather here was good (a little humid though), and I spent most of the ceremony at the Ft. Benning Cemetary standing in ants! I just felt some itching on my feet, but I didn't look down until I bowed my head for the prayer. Ouch! I wasn't in uniform because we were informed that the uniform was Class A's or nice civilian clothes. My Class A's weren't ready, and I didn't want to wear my ACUs on an important day like this so I went with nice civilian clothes. Imagine my surprise when we arrived and my friend was one of 2 soldiers in Class A's. Everyone else was in ACUs! The reason was to remind ourselves and everyone else that we are a nation at war. Our thoughts should be with the service members who have died and also with those who are still fighting. True, and mine always are.

The ceremony itself was nice. My friend and I walked in as the band was playing "Battle Hymn of the Republic," one of my favorite songs. I looked around at the well-kept grave markers, clean, marked with an American flag, and perfectly in line with each other. Many graves also had flowers next to them. The playing of Taps brought both sadness and pride into my heart. May God look over every soldier, sailor, marine, and airman who had paid the ultimate sacrifice. And may God bless their loved ones who are left behind.

I made my decision

2007-05-23T17:43:00.000-05:00

and I told my 1SG yesterday that I want to go to AIT.

I went to see the doctor yesterday about my stress fractures and ankle. My stress fractures are healing (although not fast enough for OCS), but my ankle was still swollen. The doc was concerned because after 2 months, the swelling should have been gone by now. He did several rotating exercises on my ankle (oww!), and he now suspects torn ligaments. X-ray, bone scan, and now an MRI. Wow, things just keep getting better and better for me! :-/

On the bright side, my profile went from limited walking (ie. no farther than the barracks to the DFAC and back) to unlimited walking! No more barracks rat for me! :-)

Well, after that visit, I knew I wouldn't make the next class and would have to leave OCS. I'm pretty excited about AIT. My dad was happy as well. He said that if he had to do his Army career all over again, he would have gone enlisted first. And with active duty experience, I'll have a few more options. I could work through the NCO ranks, come back to OCS, or attend Warrant Officer Candidate School (currently only aviation accepts civilian applicants), which was my first interest in the Army. I'm excited. Almost everyone I talk to says I will make a great NCO, although there are plenty of people trying to talk me into chaptering out instead. My mom would rather me get out of the Army all together and never come back, but that was never an option for me. Sorry Mom, but you raised me to work for what I want, and the Army is it!

I don't get to pick my MOS though, which is a chance I'm taking. My wishlist is:
1. 21S - Topographic Surveyor
2. 21T - Technical Engineer
3. 96U - Imagery Analyst
4. 21U - Topographic Analyst
5. 89D - Explosive Ordance Disposal

Yeah, Dad was not so happy about hearing #5. :-P

I still have to do the actual paperwork, but I'm pretty set on this. I just hope I get one of my choices. I would be happiest with #1, but I'll take anything. Some relief, but I just wish they could tell me what the hell is wrong with my ankle. :-(

OCS Packing list: what, when, where, how to buy

2007-05-21T20:39:00.000-05:00

I've received many e-mails about arriving at OCS, and I figured it's time for a few more informative posts about OCS. First up: the OCS Packing List

WHAT
For college ops going straight from BCT to OCS, most of the stuff on the packing list will be part of your initial issue at reception in BCT. When you arrive at Ft. Benning, be prepared to buy the following (as of March 2007 when I arrived at OCS):

- 4 subdued "Follow Me" patchs
- 1 blousing rubbers, green, with hooks (although the cadre in Delta forbid us from wearing them)
- 24 wire hangers (make sure they match and are uncoated)
- 2 US insignia, Officer, Sta-Brite
- 1 dress shirt, white military
- 1 pr dress shoes, pumps, black
- 1 shoe cleaning kit
- toiletry kit (items as needed)
- laundry kit (only certain detergents can be used for ACUs, Clothing and Sales has a list posted)
- 2 combination locks (a total of 4 needed for OCS)
- PT uniforms (recommend buying the max amount)
- 1 pr running shoes
- 2 pr stockings, sheer/semi-sheer, without seams
- 5 pr wool socks (green or black)
- 1 civilian bath towel, white
- 1 undershirt, cotton/underarmour (recommend buying the max amount)
- 1 roadguard vest (orange w/ yellow trim)
- 1 CW gloves inserts
- 1 cap, knitted or fleece, BLACK
- All additional items except mouthpiece and flashlight (required for BCT)
- 1 box tissues
- 1 name stencil (must buy at Ft. Benning Clothing and Sales)
- sunscreen and insect repellent (if not given out in BCT)
- khaki slacks/shorts, nice pair of shoes, belt
- debit card
- laptop computer* if you would like

* You would have to buy a broadband wireless card to have wireless internet access in the barracks. Each company has a small computer lab in the barracks but .gov, .mil, and bill pay sites are the only ones you are allowed to access.

Note: I used the female packing list. Men, buy the bowtie instead of the necktab, and pass on the sports bras, stockings, and pumps. :-P

WHEN
Buy as soon as possible after you get to OCS (probably after inprocessing). You want to have the entire packing list and all your stuff packed by the afternoon of the day prior to your start day. There will be 130+ other candidates looking for the same stuff you are, and the stores do run short sometimes.

WHERE
I was able to buy almost everything I needed at Clothing and Sales and the PX on post. I also checked out Ranger Joe's and Commando's off post.

HOW
Since I came right from BCT, I didn't have a car. I ended up splitting a couple of cabs with the soldiers I rode down from BCT with to get to Ranger Joes and the PX. Clothing and Sales is about a mile away, so we walked there. Expect to spend around $400 total for the packing list and $60 for the cab rides. Of course, you can always ask around for a ride. Most people here are more than willing to help out fellow candidates. One thing my parents gave me that I really appreciate was an AAFES gift card. It's good at Clothing and Sales, gas stations, shoppettes, PX and commissary. Best BCT graduation gift I could have received!

When I get some more free time, I'll probably write about reporting to OCS and inprocessing, as well as the profile regulations since that is something I am dealing with right now.

Damn, it's finally happened

2007-05-13T19:20:00.000-05:00

Growing up, I was a complete smart-ass of a kid (yeah, nothing much has changed there) and out-smarted my parents in every argument and conversation. I always had to get the last word with them. They gave me a lot of advice which I usually threw into the back of my mind. I pretty much did my own thing and made my own decisions. My parents were always hesitant but supportive and offering advice (which again, I didn't really take to heart).

My parents have been bugging me for years to start going to church again. They said it would be good for me, especially for the setbacks I'm going through now. I went to all of ten masses while in college, mostly when I was home (I really like the church I grew up in). Well, I've been going to a church in Columbus for the past few weeks as a "get-away" from all things OCS. It was a pain in the ass to find a Catholic church here in the Bible Belt, but I managed.

Today's homily touched on what to do when you face difficulty in life. I was taking to heart everything the pastor was saying when it happened. It finally happened. At the age of 23, I've finally realized it, and I think it's time to say it. . .

Gulp. . .

My parents were right. Damnit! And on Mother's Day of all days!!

Hopefully my future kids will pick up on this much sooner. Of course my parents are hoping they give me the same crap I gave them when I was a kid. I love you too. :-/

Got the warning today

2007-05-09T19:43:00.000-05:00

Charlie Co. classes up on Monday, and Bravo Co. is in about 3 weeks. I learned today that Bravo is my last chance. If I don't class up then, I will be leaving OCS without those coveted butter bars. :-(

It's scary and upsetting, mainly because I have little control on how fast my stress fractures heal. I will get off profile right when Bravo starts. I will have to pass a diagnostic APFT for HHC and the initial APFT for Bravo, which are scheduled about 4 days apart. I work on my upper body and abs during profile PT in the mornings, and I started using the stationary bike to keep up my cardio. I've doubled my calcium intake (how much is actually absorbed by my body is another matter). Last but not least, I've rested my legs as much as I can. Mostly I get the "sit-down" details, and after duty hours, I just stay in the day room or in my bunk. No visits to the mall or walking around downtown. Basically, I am a complete barracks rat (cough loser cough), but I not one of those assholes who play up their profiles during the duty day and are up and around once the cadre leaves. I'm injured period, and I really, really, REALLY want to get better. I don't know what else I can do to "speed up" my recovery. I'm not even sure that's possible!

So, now I have to start thinking: Chapter out of the Army or go to AIT.

Chapter out:
I don't know what kind of chapter I would get, but I'm hoping it's one that wouldn't give me problems when I try for OCS again. Can one of you recruiters can shed some light on that for me? What chapters would keep me from coming back into the Army? Since I have been in for less than 6 months, will I have to go to BCT again? Will I still be eligible for the GI Bill (I don't care about bonuses or SLRP)? Lots of questions!

Pros: When I come back, I'll know exactly what the standards are (pace and load of ruck marches, etc.). The requirements may even be lowered as time goes on (huge increase in injuries lately, enough to cause concern at the Regiment level). I will also have time to heal completely, and slowly work my way back up to the standards. There is demand for my degree, so I can put that into use and make A LOT more money (to help pay off my college debt) and gain more experience, but it will take time to find a job. I'm still very young (only 23). I will gain life experience, and may be at or below average age for OCS candidates when I return. Also, I will know exactly what is expected of OCs and the unwritten do's and don'ts.

Cons: Since my injuries will be existing conditions, I expect finding health insurance to be a pain in the ass, especially if I need to see a specialist. Where will I live? At home with my parents, with friends, my own place, or take off somewhere? I've never been to the Pacific Northwest. What is living in Seattle like? Also, I will have wasted a couple hundred dollars on that damn OCS packing list! :-/

Go to AIT:
I'm not sure how the MOS-assigning will work. I know several OCs that went this route got something in the area that they wanted. I'd love to get EOD or Psy-Ops. I'm not sure how physically demanding EOD is, but I know the psy-ops AIT is tough and that Airborne school (which I would like to complete) is required for Active Duty soldiers.

Pros: Get to stay in the Army and learn the basic military procedures that are covered in OCS. I'll also get the enlisted soldier perspective and get my hands dirty. Enlisted experience is also a good way to learn what makes good and bad officers. I don't waste the $400 I've already put into the MGIB. I may work my way through the NCO ranks and find out I like it a lot.

Cons: Money isn't the most important thing, but it is something I need to think about, and E4 pay will be tough to live on with the debt I have from college. I'll also have to work through training, deployments, assignments, and my chain of command to submit a packet, which are only accepted a few times a year. Anything can happen!

Quite a decision, one I was hoping I would never have to make. Is there anything important that I forgot to consider? I'm keeping this in the back of my mind, but my main focus is getting healthy. I have 3 weeks, and I'm going to do what I can.

Puzzle(s) of the Week

2007-05-08T19:38:00.000-05:00

Actually, it's more like whenever I feel like it. I've thrown in two pictures since I haven't done this in loooong time. For some reason, the jigsaw puzzle feature wasn't working, so only sliding puzzles this time. Picture for Puzzle #1 is along I-10 somewhere in California, from my roadtrip to San Diego last December. The picture from Puzzle #2 is the lobby of La Pensione Hotel in the Little Italy area of San Diego (I highly recommend it).

Puzzle #1

Puzzle #2

A nightmare comes to life. . . and it was anything but that

2007-05-02T18:36:00.000-05:00

I believe this is week 6 in HHC for me. I haven't heard anything about my con leave, so I sit and wait. The 40-ish OCs that were cut from the newest class inprocessed today, and they were slowly integrated into the HHC way (ie. area beautification).

Even though I only lasted a week in OCS, I like to see my old classmates and find out how they're doing. But it is also depressing to hear how many requirements they've completed. Having to leave the class sucked. I mean, I was depressed as hell! I always thought the worst experience possible, my nightmare, would be to stand at parade rest while Delta passed by in fomation. Six weeks later, it happened.

A few days ago, I took a short walk around the quad when I was on staff duty (trying to fight the boredom). Delta Co. was marching by, so I stopped and stood at parade rest. So many people seemed happy to see me (especially without crutches or an expression of pain on my face). They didn't have to (and technically shouldn't have because they were in formation), but I got several "what up OC," smiles, and winks. I'm always amazed that people still remember me, considering the short time I was in class. When I saw them coming, the thought of "oh nooo" came to mind. But as they marched by, I was extremely proud of them! Delta is halfway there. They will become senior officer candidates next week, and I couldn't be happier for them!

The Delta 1Sg also remembers me too. Later that day, I ran into him, and he asked me how I was doing. I let him know about my broken body, and all he could do was shake his head and somewhat laugh at me. "I told you that you wouldn't make it. You were too hurt." I told him that I will still make it, and he agreed. "Oh, I'm sure you will. You may even make it back to Delta." Thanks, but that's not a exactly a good thing (waaaay too long in HHC!). I'm aiming for two classes from now. I don't know the class number (and I'm kinda lazy to look it up at the moment), but it will be with Bravo Co. I will make it someday. :-)

It's been a not-so-fun week :-(

2007-04-26T14:59:00.000-05:00

Monday
* Wake up at 0415
* Hospital by 0500 as standby for bone scan (5th in line, didn't get in)
* Worst blood experience ever!

Tuesday
* Wake up at 0400
* Hospital by 0445 as standby for bone scan (first one there, got in)

Wednesday :-(
* "Slept in" to 0515 (usual wake up)
* Sick call for bone scan results
* 3 stress fractures (both shins, and right ankle)
* 30 day profile (all I can do is upper body workout, swim, stationary bike - farthest I can walk is to the DFAC and back, and this is added onto the 30 days I've already been on profile!)
* Recommendation for 30-day convalescent leave ASAP
* Talked to CO about different "what if" scenarios and my options, all based on decision of BN CO
* 12-hour overnight duty

Thursday
* Finished 12-hour shift
* Went right from 12-hour duty to another duty for 4 hours (filling in for someone else and up for almost 30 hours straight)
* Finally went to bed and woke up in late afternoon, too late to visit the offices I needed to

Friday
* Wake up around 0415
* Another 12-hour duty shift (at least this was during the day)

Haven't heard a decision yet. It's getting harder and harder to stay positive and keep smiling. The disappointment is starting to overwhelm me. I need to come up with a backup plan. Gotta be prepared for whatever happens, which ranges from con leave home to chaptering out of the Army.

:-(

Worst blood-drawing experience EVER!

2007-04-23T19:49:00.000-05:00

I had to get some blood drawn this morning. I've had this done quite a few times since shipping to BCT. Usually, there is no problem with finding a vein and drawing blood. This morning was a much different experience. The nurse prepped my right arm (inside ofthe elbow), and stuck the needle in. She pushed the tube down to get the blood and the needle slipped. It flew right out of my arm and then replanted itself in another spot on my arm! Holy shit, how the hell did that happen?! Beats me, but one needle wasted. The nurse checks my left arm, right wrist, right hand, left wrist, and left hand for another suitable vein. Apparently I didn't give her a lot to work with, and she decided to use the butterfly needle on my left wrist. No luck, but she looked hard. She kept moving the needle around inside me, waiting for the blood to flow (it never did). I like to think I have a somewhat above-average pain tolerance, but I was about to cry. The worst part was, no blood ever flowed so I would have to go through that experience again. And again. And again. And again. And again. Aaaaand again. Yep, I was stuck and needle-searched 7 times (5 on my right elbow) until a vein finally filled that damn tube up! I have a bruise the size of an Oreo on my right arm, and it's sore as hell. Did I mention how much the alcohol over the previous puncture wounds burned when I had to be cleaned before each try?! Yeah. . . my worst blood-drawing experience ever!!!!!

In other news, the next OCS class starts next Monday (the jury is still out on whether or not I will be a part of that class). There's now an influx of new candidates to HHC. We're taking care of them and teaching them the Groundhog ways! ;-)
The good news is they're all new to HHC, so they have very positive attitudes (right up until we tell them about the 240-to-160 situation). It's refreshing! I know a lot of people are really looking forward to getting out of HHC, and everyone's attitudes seem to be improving.

Apparently God didn't think OCS alone was challenging enough for me

2007-04-19T10:31:00.000-05:00

I just got off profile for my ankle. My shin and knee started hurting, but I chalked it up to overcompensating for my injured ankle. The past two weeks were run at my own pace and distance. So I did, kind of. The pace and distance was whatever the formation was running. Last week, we ran 30 sec intervals for 3 miles, and I finished it but quite a ways behind the group. Later that day, I was walking around the female bay in my flipflops and heard a loud crack. Yep, it came from the arch in my right foot. It didn't hurt right away. I only felt some discomfort in that spot when I walked.

This week is a whole different story. Yesterday, we had another 3-mile run. I fell out of the faster group (there are 3 groups - fastest, faster, fast) and the cadre running with me told me to fall in with the fast group. I still had trouble but never stopped running, and I finished with the formation. But that run seemed to be my breaking point, and I finally went to sick call this morning.

Best case scenario: shin splints
Worst case (and more likely): fractures in both shins (I've had pain in my left shin since BCT), and my right foot.

On the bright side, my ankle is doing much better!

I've already been on profile for 28 days for my ankle, and I'm back on profile until next week when my doctor looks at my x-rays. That will put me over the 30-day profile limit for OCS HHC. The cadre hasn't been enforcing that rule in the past few months, but OCS is at overload right now. The candidates who were healing or improving PT in HHC are now being given THE ultimatum - class up with the next class or leave OCS. For us college ops, that means leave the Army because we can't go to AIT hurt. The next OCS class starting 30 April will have around 240 people competing for the 160 spots. I wish all of them luck. 80 people will become groundhogs in less than 2 weeks, and it will only get worse. The next couple of classes are nearly at capactiy as well.

:(

Groundhogs!

2007-04-10T20:15:00.000-05:00

What a catchy new HHC motto! The cadre think it's hilarious. For those who don't get the joke, it's in reference to the movie "Groundhogs Day" with Bill Murray where every day is the same for him. My Groundhogs Day is:

0515, Wake-up
0550, PT Formation
0605-0730, Conduct PT
0730, Breakfast
0730-0850, Personal Hygiene and Barracks Maintenance
0850, Formation
0900-lunch chow, Morning Detail
1130-1250, lunch (when released from detail)
1250, accountability formation
1250-close of business, afternoon detail
1630, accountability formation and released for the day
2200, lights out!

During the week, we have an on-post pass. On Friday afternoon, we're released for the weekend. So we have an off-post pass for the local area, which means going no farther than Columbus, GA or Phenix City, AL.

The redundancy is kind of a mental beatdown. I didn't come into the Army to stay in a place like this and do nothing but details. It's hard to stay positive when the next day won't change much, but I try to keep my head in the game. With each passing day, I gain a little more flexibility and range of motion for my ankle, but I also feel a little more pain. I can finally run again, at my own pace and distance, and it hurts (even with a distance of less than 1 mile). I can never catch a break. However, I am still learning. I'm reading my Officer's Guide and some books off the reading list ("Band of Brothers" right now). I'm also studying the required knowledge. One less thing to worry about when I class up. I have 1.5 weeks until HHC's next APFT, and I have to pass it to even get a chance to class up. Groundhog's Day will be over before I know it!

Also, I just have to say that I have the best parents! They surprised this past Easter by driving my car 16 hours. They also brought some clothes, dvd's, my laptop, mp3 player, and my digital camera. That means pictures are forthcoming (any requests?).

Okay, now I'm rambling (yes, I'm aware of the title of this blog!). It's close to lights out now, so I'm out. Groundhogs!

Hurts less every day

2007-04-01T15:23:00.000-05:00

It's been over a week since I crashed and burned at the obstacle course, and I greatly appreciate the encouraging comments and e-mails. I am now off crutches. Well, technically my profile was updated to "use crutches as needed." I decided that they are most needed in my wall locker. I'm not overdoing it though. I rarely leave the Battalion area during the week, and I'm frugal and car-less so my weekends are fairly boring. I do try to get off post for a few hours each weekend to remind myself that there is a world outside HHC and OCS. That's hard to remember sometimes.

My ankle is feeling much better though. I can walk without a limp now. My foot may be so far outward that I look like a duck, but I don't have a limp! No more splint or brace, and the swelling has gone way down. Before, my foot looked like a blown-up balloon (think Prof. Clump's foot from "The Nutty Professor"). Now there's just a big knot on the outside and a smaller one on the inside of my ankle. My tendons are still tender and I lost some motion and strength, so the physical therapist gave me some daily exercises to help regain that stuff and get ready to run again. We're hoping I can ease back into it after the Easter holiday. If it works out that way, I'll have 3 weeks to work towards the initial APFT for the next company. Yessss! All I have to do is avoid potholes and oncoming cars. For the record, I always look both ways when crossing the street! :)

YesI admit to being frugal (two weeks here and the only civilian clothes I have are 4 t-shirts and a pair of jeans). I did let loose of my wallet a little bit this weekend and treated myself. I got the rasberry cheesecake mixed ice cream from Marble Slab, and a freaking awesome Sogno di Cioccolata (Chocolate Dream) from Carrabba's. Oh my goodness, that was a great dessert (with 3 types of chocolate)! I couldn't finish it last night, so it made for a great breakfast this morning! That was probably the best meal I've had since I got to OCS. :P

That's "Rambling Thoughts from an Officer Candidate!"

2007-03-23T12:55:00.000-05:00

Yep, I made it through Army BCT at Relaxin' Jackson. I shed a few tears on graduation day (last Friday, and sorry but no pictures). It's amazing how close you get to others in 9 weeks and how much you learn about yourself and the other soldiers around you (including the drill sergeants and cadre).

My family couldn't make it to my graduation, so I took government transportation down to Ft. Benning, GA. Wakeup was 0400, and barracks maintenance/last-minute packing went until 0700. While cleaning up, one of my DSes (the only SGT in my company) came to my room and performed my promotion ceremony to SGT. Yep, soldiers on their way to OCS are automatically promoted to SGT (not just pay grade, actual rank) if they are junior enlisted. An outline of the "ceremony" for your curiosity:
DS: Hey Cruz! When you get on the bus. . . Wait, do you have SGT rank?
Me: No DS.
DS: Well here. (Rips his own SGT rank off his ACU top and gives it to me). As of 15 March, you are a SGT in the US Army.
Me: (blushing and smiling because he is NOT the kind of person to do that)
DS: Now you can't tell anyone that I never gave you anything.
Me: (with a big-ass smile on my face) Thank you DS.

Then the DS brings his buddy (another one of my DSes) over so he can laugh at my red face, and they (along with my platoon) continued to joke wtih me about my new rank until I left. So, that was my first Army promotion ceremony.

The charter bus left close to 9, with a whole 5 people on it (now that's government spending!). It was a 6 hour drive, and we made it around 1500. The green govt. check they gave us was good almost nowhere except Golden Corral. Luckily, the driver had made the route quite a few times and knew where to take us for lunch.

When we got to Benning, we were dropped off right at OCS. After filling out paperwork and carrying our stuff to the barracks, we were on pass (weekend pass for all OCs waiting to class up in the next class). I got to put on civilian clothes, wear my hair down, and walk around with NO DS in sight! Don't worry future soldiers. The DSes will eventually disappear. Actually, it's kindof a culture shock at first. To get everything I needed for the OCS packing list, the 5 of us OCs called a cab and hit Clothing and Sales (has almost everything), Ranger Joes (grabbed a few missing items and got the 11th INF patch sewn on), and the PX (little stuff like kleenex, white towel, eraser, detergent), which can be done in about half a day. (Hint: You will carry your bags up and down and up the stairs. make sure you can carry it all. I had 1 green military duffle bag, 2 civilian black duffle bags, and a backpack). I ate at Subway, hit the internet, and watched my Aggies beat Louisville. Whoop! Perfect timing!

Monday and Tuesday were stressful. My class was overbooked. 205-ish people for 160 spots in this class. The other 45-ish would stay with the holding company until they classed up. Some of those people have already been in holding for months! Monday was height-weight and they cut anyone who failed the tape test. Tuesday was the APFT, and this was the big cut. Those who outright failed it (60 points in each event) were given counseling statements by the company commander. After that, they still needed to cut 19 people, so the lowest PT scores were sent to holding. I lucked out and made it. I was shocked because my score was low 200s, but I made the cut! That was so much weight off my shoulders, and I was so happy to unpack all my stuff.

On Wednesday morning, we did was our first combatives class for PT and went to CIF to get our TA-50 (field gear). I got pretty much everything I had to use in BCT (only this is the older TA-50, not the new stuff we got in BCT). Damn, that took forever!

Thursday morning sucked. We were going to do Bolton obstacle course and the Downing mile (by Cardiac Hill) back-to-back. Oh, and we were also going to run to everything, in ACUs and camelbacks (I strongly suggest buying your own instead of waiting for the cadre to issue them to you). The company ran to Bolton (~1 mile away), and then we split up. So, two platoons (including mine) ran to Downing Mile (~0.5 miles away), finished that obstacle course (lots of highs and lows), ran down and up Cardiac Hill for fun, ran back to Bolton, and then hit Bolton. They gave us a breather when we got to Bolton, but I was out of breath. The obstacles were hard for me. I'm short and have little upper body strength.

Now comes the bad news: On my second time on the last obstacle of the day, my hands slipped off the monkey bars (it was the Tarzan obstacle at Bolton). When I fell, my right foot slipped between the two safety mats, and my ankle rolled in when my body came down. I was expecting a soft landing on the mat but a random accident led to some intense pain (soooo much worse than all those ankle injuries in BCT). The 1SG and some OCs in my squad carried me to the 1SG's truck and took me to the hospital. After a few ice packs, some x-rays, a lot of waiting, and a lot of tears, the verdict was in: a bad sprain. To quote the doc, "You might as well have broken it." I am now on a 2-week profile with crutches. No running, no rucking, no marching. All I can do at the moment is walk (ie. hobble along on my crutches) at my own pace and distance. I am sad and disappointed as hell, and it shows on my face. Changing from my OCS subdued rank (OCs classed up) to Sta-Brite (OCs in holding) hurt so much. I worked over a year to get here, and I was good enough to make the cut and class up. All of 2 days later, and it's gone. Not forever though. I know that. The CO asked me if I could keep going full speed and keep up with everyone. Everything ounce of my heart wanted to stay so bad, but my head (along with all the cadre and OCs) told me to recycle, get healthy, and class up with the next class in 5 weeks. It was hard, really hard, and I couldn't control my emotions, but I have to heal. THe CO and cadre said they appreciated my mature decision and told me it was the right thing to do. We did more running in 3 days of OCS than I did in almost all of BCT. And with the first required 5-mile footmarch next week with a full load, there was very little chance I could keep up.

So, here I am. Pretty depressed and hobbling around everywhere (the stairs are the worst!). But it will get better. I will get better, get stronger, class up, kick ass, and earn those butter bars. Hooah!

Letter from Becky: Mar 14, 2007

2007-03-19T12:23:00.000-05:00

It's been a long time since I 've written. I don't even know where I left off, but to make a long story short, I'm in week 9. Hooah! My company got back from Victory Forge yesterday evening. We had our Rites of Passage ceremony earlier that day. I fully expected myself to cry, but I only teared up a litte ("God Bless the USA" with the 9/11 sound clips and Mariah Carey's "Hero" gets me every time). So, I am now in Red, White, and Blue phase, and I get to wear my beret now. I'm a little sad because I had perfected the "one-handed patrol cap on." The berete is a little more complicated! I still have some work to do on the shaping, but everyone says I really good with it on.

I feel pretty good, even though BCT has ended with some disappointment. I didn't march to Victory Forge. Actually, my drill sergeants ordered me not to. I was so pissed off, but I knew they were looking out for me. I got some pretty bag blisters on my heels during the white phase road march (around 7 miles). Around mile 6, my drill sergeant made me get in the I-ton after he saw blood on the back of my boots. I had huge blisters from my heels rubbing the heels of my summer boots, and I bled right through my boots. I was hurting so bad, ad the halts only made the pain worse. But I was so mad at the DS for making me get on. Less than a mile left and I couldn't finish. It's been almost 3 weeks since then and I'm still pissed off. Anyway, even with 10 days on a soft-shoe profile and cleaning the blisters regularly, they were still very painful, and the DSes said no on me marching to Victory Forge, a 10.5 mile march. They told me that it was pointless for me to try to march, tear my feet up again, and miss out on all the training at Victory Forge. Nothing too bad, though. The ranges and sites were about 2 miles away, and we wore body armor, kevlar helmets, and LBVs. And to think, a few weeks ago I thought footmarches like that were hard as hell!

Most of the ranges wre fun. One was MOUT site (military operation urban terrain). Our first time through was a humanitarian mission, where we went into the town (one main road with 4 buildings and a broken-down bus). Our squad leader (DS Infantry) made nice with the town mayor, dropped off MREs and water jugs, and asked about insurgent/terrorist activity. Then snipers opened fire and we had to react-to-contact. Our CO and 1SG said we did prettty good, but we bunched up (supposed to keep a 10-15 m interval). The second time through was a raid. My platoon had to storm the town and clear the buildings. We did very well but sustained 6 casualties (ALWAYS clear your lane - don't be a buddy fucker!) and performed MEDEVAL procedures. The raid was an adrenaline rush. I volunteered for one of the clearing teams and busted down doors, cleared rooms, dodged a sniper, carried our wounded and dodged simulated IEDs and mortar rounds. And this all took place in about 3 minutes, which includes mounting the 5-tons and hauling ass out of there.

At the same site, I got to play OPFOR (opposition force) twice. As a sniper, I took out one stakc taem and their relief (again always clear your lane). I was also a civilan and just tok cover (and still managed to get shot). The entire time (not only at the MOUT site but all throughout Victory Forge) we had MILES gear. It's just a body harness, halo for the kevlar, and a laser that attaches to the M16. Basically, you're playing hardcore laser tag-anytime, anywhere.

Some of the other ranges were Anzvo, which is shooting live rounds from a convoy (ie, shooting from a moving vehicle). A lot of people liked that range, but I didn't. Having a piece of brass fall down your tshirt takes the fun out of it. Burn baby burn! We also manned a checkpoint for 6 hrs (nothing much happened). Our platoon was split up by squad for a lot of the smaller missions, including night missions. All day, every day, same squad or platoon was out doing something. And the OPFOR kept us awake at night with IEDs, mortar rounds, and small arms fire.

Now that Victory Forge is over, I'm in a new hell. Actually, it's quite similar to the "waiting around and doing nothing" game I was forced to play at Reception. Graduation is 16 MAR, and it can't get here soon enough. All we do is clean weapons, clean equipment, and watch movies (today-Sunday-it was "Bagdad ER" and "Scream 2.") Tuesday is the drill sergeants' inspection, Wednesday is the Battalion Commander's inspection, Thursday is Family Day, Friday is Graduation Day, and on Saturday, my ass is on a Greyhound bus to Ft. Benning, GA. I'm not looking forward to Family Day as much as the others are. I'll like the break from the DSes and the little bit of freedom we'll get, but I don't have any family or friends coming in. My dad hasn't been feeling well for the past couple of months (he first got sick right before I shipped for BCT), and the airline tickets were just too much for my family. It's a little sad, but I expected this. I'll just be hanging around Ft. Jackson and Columbia with a couple of my battle buddies (the ones I can stand!)

By this time next week (actually, probably by the time you get this letter) I will be checked in at Ft. Benning. I've come a long way but there is still a long way to go.

No more mail after this letter. Miss you and all my fellow Aggies. I can't wait to catch a game at Kyle Field and at Reed Arena. Whoop!

PS: Another tip for BCT: wear sunscreen every day! The ACUs (which are long-sleeve) leave an ugly-ass tan line at your wrist!

Letter from Becky: Feb 13, 2007

2007-02-19T10:33:00.000-06:00

It's been weeks since I've written. Damn, there's a lot to tell you, and I have no idea where I left off, but I'll start with basic rifle marksmanship, BRM.

BRM was fun at first. Everything was new, and we finally go to use those M16s we've been carrying around since Day 1. We were shooting everyday at different ranges. I did pretty well. I got a 60 on all the ranges except for one (I forgot my glasses and could barely seem the 175m, let alone the 300m target). Qualifications was this past Tuesday and Wednesday, and it took me 4 tries over the 2 days before I qualified. 23 hits is the minimum needed, and I hit 21 the first time. I was pretty upset that I wasn't a first-time go and let it get to me. I ended up with 15 hits the second time. After that, I relaxed and called my 3rd time a "clean slate." I shot okay, but never found out my score. On Wednesday, I woke up in a very happy mood, went out and nailed 26 targets out of 40. I was the first soldier in the company to have my marksman medal pinned on by the company commander. BRM is easy. Just do what the drill sergeants say, practice the 4 fundamentals, and have fun! When I qualify again in about 6 months, I want to earn the sharpshooter badge. Getting Hawkeye (40 hits/40 targets) would be cool. Actually, one of the soldiers in my company (different platoon, though) did shoot Hawkeye. The cadet was very impressed. I'm still proud of my marksman. My first military medal!

Let's see. Oh yeah, I'm now a squad leader. My first official leadership position. I'm more busy, having to take care of my squad's issues. It's frustrating though when you're trying to get everyone out on time with the right uniform and equipment, and some soldiers don't give a shit. I just gotta keep working on it. At least I can get them to do what I say when we're short on time.

The 3rd diagnostic PT test was yesterday. Despite being sore all over, dotted with cruises (I have no idea how I got them but I'm starting to look like a Dalmatian!), and marching on 2 ankles the size of baseballs, I nailed 31 pushups, 52 situps, and a 19:33 run. Total APFT score is 202. My situps need to go up, and I want an 18:00 run time, but I'm almost surprised that I passed with my body beat up like it is. The next test is in 2 weeks, it will be the one that counts. The drill sergeants said we'll get a few days rest before it. Can't wait! Until then, I'll be cranking out situps, flutter kicks, V-ups, pushups (with body armor), and anything else I can think of.

Well, I'm now past the halfway point of BCT. We went to white phase about 1.5 weeks ago, and Week 6 is about to begin. Guess what happens in Week 6... getting fitted for Class A's (the greens suit)! I can see the end. But there's a few things left to go. Don't want to look too far ahead. Seeing myself in Class A's for the first time will be very cool. I walked into the recruiting station in late October '06, and I'm a few weeks away! Come on March 16!

I'm getting a lot more mail now. I appreciate it all! Those letters turn a terrible day into a bearable one. Sometimes we're so busy, we forget that there's a world outside the barracks and training. For the record, we were allowed to watch the Superbowl, at least until 2100. A pretty sloppy game, but I loved it. God, I miss football! And my Texas Aggies appear to be kicking ass. I haven't read any recaps, but I have seen the rankings (one of my buddies gets the sports papers mailed to him and he passes it around). #8 in the country! Whoop! Someone please help me out with the March Madness bracket! My buddy and I are thinking about starting a bracket pool within our platoon.

Thanks to everyone for their words of encouragement, especially those who I never met before. It means a lot that complete strangers care enough to wish me well. The postcards are nice, too!

So BCT is going okay. There's a lot of people in my platoon that have shitty attitudes, but I'm doing my best to stay positive. It's hard sometimes, but I keep my eye on the big picture, and play the game. Now for a few tips for anyone about to go through BCT:

-Buy lots and lots of baby wipes!
-Buy extra underwear. Laundry is not as convenient as you're led to believe.
-Label everything (every single sock, underwear, bra, EVERYTHING) with your name and last 4 of your SSN
-Baby wipes! I'm not kidding.
-Take only a backpack when you ship out. Minimal is better.
-Icy hot and Bengay will be your best friends here. We weren't allowed to have it in reception, but the drill sergeants highly recommended it once we got to BCT.
-Black spandex shorts are expensive but worth every penny! Wear the longer ones (almost to your knees) with ACUs, especially on the road marches. I also have a pair of Nike spandex shorts for my PT uniform (the PT shorts ride up pretty bad). Remember, black only, no logos, and highly recommended by the drill sergeants.
-Work out before going to basic, especially running. It makes BCT more bearable, and you are less likely to get hurt. But watch out on the obstacle courses. Those tree roots came out of nowhere and lead to some painful days, as I know pretty well.
-Stay motivated and take it day by day. It's a busy 9 weeks, and the days fly by, but remember why you came and how good it will feel to EARN that uniform.
-Take a journal and write in it. It's only been 1.5 months but I like reading the ups and downs I've gone through.

Damn, obstacle courses! I almost forgot to tell you about the one we went through on Thursday. I had so much fun, I love this stuff. This one had a couple of team-building exercises. On one, we had to climb a 30ft ladder and then ranger-crawl down a rope. That would be hanging upside down on the rope and going down, hand-over-hand. I did it on the first try, with DS C (the one who likes to pick on me), the company commander, and the company first sergeant watching. I got a lovely "Hurry up and get the hell off that rope" from DS C. Haha! The next one was 5-walls. We had to climb 5 walls, each one higher than the other, in teams of 4. The first 3 were easy, between 6 and 12ft. The 4th was about 16ft, and I fell off that one. I landed on my back, but the recycled tire bits broke my fall. You really do bounce off that crap! But I got right back up and my teammates got me over. Then we made it over the 5th one easy. The last major obstacle was the skyscraper. It was 4 floors (actually 5 but we can't go to the top) about 20 ft high, and we had to get everyone up and then back down. The damn thing was shaking in the wind, but I had fun. Some in my platoon (none on my team) were scared shitless and they took a while to get up and down, but everyone got past their fears and got through the skyscraper. Hooah!

Damn, I've been writing forever (used up all the ink in my Pilot G2). Hey, I said I had been busy! Well, thanks for the card and the "Prison Break" recap. There's a lot of fans in my platoon and they loved it. I bet skiing was fun. It's gotten cold as hell here, too. On our first overnight in the field, it was in the low 20's. Miserable weather! Even my hardass, infantry DS was whining about the cold. Good luck with the house-hunting! I'll have to visit you sometime.

32 days and a wakeup! Hooah!

Letter from Becky: Jan 24, 2007

2007-01-30T17:43:00.001-06:00

Week 2 has gone by so fast, I didn't even have the energy to write in my journal. Basically, it went from bad to worse to good.

This week was the fun stuff. We started combatives on Monday and I got to throw a few people around! We learned a few dominant positions, and we'll continue combatives once a week (not 3 like I thought :( ). I also got dropped by the blonde female DS. I volunteered to help my DS and got in her way while I was waiting. Instead of keeping my mouth shut and moving, I said, "Sorry Drill Sergeant." That blonde DS basically accused me of calling her a sorry drill sergeant and dropped me for 15. Apparently, my DSes and some of the other platoon DSes have noticed me as one of the few "do-gooders." so they had to do a WTF! when they saw me pushing. Mind games, that's about 90% of basic training. Keep that in mind, play the game, and look out for your battle buddies.

Tuesday started off bad. We were issued our TA-50 gear, which is all our field gear including magazines (filled with blanks) for our M16s. Now, we always carry a magazine with us to practice loading and clearing our weapons. Well, when we were ordered to clear our weapons and I realized that more wasn't in my weapon. I automatically assumed that I dropped it at the PT field and told one of my DSes. We (plus a battle buddy) ran all the way back to the PT field from the DFAC before I realized that my magazine was in my canteen cover the whole time. I felt like such an idiot and apologized to the DS, but he told me to never apologize for that. Magazines are a sensitive item (security-wise) and I did the right thing. I felt better but still stupid. I now know where my magazine is at all times! :)

After that morning drama, the day went well. We had some BRM exercises to practice grouping (using sights only) and the prone unsupported and kneeling positions. WE also practiced SPORTS (steps to firing a jammed weapon) and shot some blanks. We were given blank adapters for our M16s so the banks, when fired, simulated the recoil of the M16 that happens with live ammo. At least that's what I think it's for.

Wednesday was Victory Tower. SO MUCH FUN! I was able to do everything, from the rope walking to the rappel towers to the cargo net, and I wasn't scared at all. Loved it!

Thursday was almost all First Aid classes. Compared to Victory Tower, it was kind of boring, but our instructor (a combat medic NCO) was hilarious.

Friday was land nav. We had to pass the day and night tests. We spent the morning learning how to read military maps, terrain associate, and plot points. Thanks to that DEP function that my recruiters held a few months ago, I was able to understand that stuff pretty well, at least the basics. During the day land nav, my group found all 5 of our points. At night, we only got 4 out of 5. We found our first 3 based on our plotted points, got utterly lost looking for our 4th point, and stumbled across our 5th point while looking for our 4th. As long as you don't stress too much about it (like some in my platoon), land nav is fun. Oh, the DSes can and will scare the crap out of you during night land nav. A bunch of soldiers-in-training lost in the woods at night is too good for them to pass up. Fir warning to those headed to Relaxin' Jackson.

Heath-wise, I'm fair. I got some damn viral infection going around. Sneezing, stuffy nose, never-ending coughing, etc. And I sprained my left ankle on Friday coming back from land nav. So now both my ankles are swollen. I'm going to civic call tomorrow, to get them checked out. I want to be as healthy as possible for our APFT test on Saturday.

But coming up tomorrow is... the gas chamber! We were issued our gas masks and other gear (MOPP suit, gloves, boots) today, and spend almost all day in NBC (nuclear, biological, chemical) classes. I can get my mask sealed within 10 seconds, but the requirement is 9. I'll find out tomorrow just how good I am! At least my stuff nose will be cleared up. :)

Damn, I love BCT, kinda sorta. I'm doing a lot of things I never thought I would do, but I can do without the smoke sessions! I'm tired, sore, and stressed out (mainly due to the priss-pout attitudes of some PVTs in my platoon), but I'm glad I did this. I have also come to realize how precious the little things are, like hot showers and toilet paper. I think the Army is running short on both.

2 weeks down. Despite all our troubles lately, we should be hitting white phase by the end of the week.

I believe Prison Break started again tonight. I miss that show, and there are a couple of fans in my platoon. If you could mail me the episode recaps, I'd appreciate it. Oh, how I miss football. We've gotten some tidbits about the NFL playoffs but not much more. Like I said, it's the little things.

Still haven't gotten much mail, which sucks! It's a crappy feeling, but I've been bad about getting my address out. I'm going to work on that this week!

I hope all is well with everyone. Let me know how things are going with you.

SPC Rebecca Cruz
B Co. 1/61 INF REGT
2nd Platoon Punishers
Ft. Jackson, SC 29207

Letter From Becky: Jan 17, 2007

2007-01-23T12:01:00.000-06:00

Basic is going ok. We keep getting smoked for talking. Please let these dumbasses learn to keep their mouths shut! And we got our M16A2 weapons issued on Day 1. From 10 minutes after wakeup to before evening formation, that weapon is within an arms length of me. We march with it and, we when fuck up, we PT with it.

The "shark attack" (when we first show up) wasn't anything like I thought. We were in our ACUs with our civilian bag and laundry bag on our laps on the bus. Instead of driving around forever, we were dropped off right in front of Bravo Company barracks. There was some running around and yelling but nothing major. After that was another shakedown. My shit got dirt and sand all over, and some of my stuff has "mysteriously" disappeared. Yeah, someone else stole it.

The last 4.5 days have been ok. Lots of paperwork and details, as well as classes (harassment, hygiene). We've also had some BRM (basic rifle workmanship) classes. I now somewhat know to to disassemble and reassemble my M16A2. I think we'll start actual shooting and zeroing in week 2. Technically, I'm still in week 1. The past 4 days don't really count towards the 9 weeks.

On January 11, we did the fit-to-win obstacle course. As a platoon, we had to jump over walls (about as tall as hurdles), climb through pipes, gro across monkey bars, climb up and down a cargo net, and low crawl under barbed wire. My platoon (Punishers!) won. The course was fun, but I rolled my ankle a few times on the course (damn exposed roots!) Even now, I still have a goose egg on the outside of my right ankle. It doesn't hurt to walk or march for a short distance (it helps that I lace my boots very tight), but anything more than that and I'm in pain. I haven't told my DSes yet. I don't plan on it either. This is the fun week. Victory Tower (rappelling), combatives, day and night land navigation, ropes obstacle course. I can't wait!

We've already been issued our TA-50 gear (field gear--poncho, sleeping mat, sack, canteens, pistol belt, etc) and fit it today. Our first road march is also this week, and we'll be eating MREs now, except for breakfast.

The purpose of BCT kind of hit us today. DS B, my favorite drill sergeant, received orders for Iraq. His last day is tomorrow, and he leaves next week for training. He's a good one. DS B smoked the crap out of us a lot, but we always deserved it, and he told us why. He was always calm, and interested in teaching us. My other DSes are cool, when they're not being complete assholes, but I liked him the most. He also knew my name. Usually, that's a bad thing, but I haven't screwed up too bad. I don't know why he remembers me. Anyway, it kind of brings reality into BCT for us. Not just DS B, but whenever any DS, NCO, or Officer talks about their combat experiences.

Interesting thing: The Company First Sergeant was in 2-4 unit out of Fort Lewis. Yeah that's the unit that online blogger Michael Yon was embedded with (Deuce Four) in Iraq. So there's A LOT of combat experience here, and it's somewhat comforting to have people who have been there and done that (BTDT).

My first PT test was yesterday. I comfortably passed the pushups and situps, but failed the run miserably. No running for 2 months (stupid knee injury) plus my sprained ankle made it slow going, but I know I will be much better next time. All that weapons PT has to pay off some time!

Went to church today. It was interesting. Almost all BCT soldiers, some DSes, and a few civilians. It was emotional. The service made me think of home, and I teared up. It's hard sometimes, but I just think about why I'm here. Gotta go now, I have morning formation at 0510.

Letter from Becky: Jan 10, 2007

2007-01-18T17:10:00.000-06:00

So far, this is the end of my 5th day in the Army. I've spent it all in Basic Training reception, and it sucks so freaking bad! Nothing but "hurry up and wait." Here's the rundown:

From Houston, we flew into Atlanta and then took a 4 hour bus ride to Fort Jackson, SC wit ha bunch of other recruits. We waited in ATL for 4 hours for the bus, and got to Fort Jackson around midnight. Some drill sergeants (OSes) were waiting for us at the reception battalion. We got dropped as soon as we got off the bus for taking too long. Then we were herded from room to room through a maze of hallways. We turned in copies of our orders (given to us at MEPS), got our roster numbers, were issued laundry bags, towels (stiff & crappy), winter hat and gloves, and PT uniforms. The PT uniforms are the old gray Army sweats, not the new PFUs We also went through amnesty, where you throw away contraband w/o any penalty. We had to dump out everything in our civilian bag onto the floor. Then the DSes called out the items that we could keep (toiletries, tissues, baby wipes, feminine products, hair & face products, white socks, undergarments, etc). Everything left over was placed in my civilian bag. This pretty much included my civilian clothes (we changed into the PT sweats) and my makeup. After that we were formed into platoons and taken to our company's barracks, issued linen, and finally got to sleep around 4:30am.

The DSes decided to be nice and let us sleep in until 5:40am (wakeup is usually 4:30am). This was a very LONG day. We had formation at 0540, went to breakfast (I wasn't hungry b/c they gave us a box lunch when we got in last night), and then spent most of the day at medical. We got our eyes checked (waiting around to receive my BCGs), blood drawn for disease testing and DNA recording in case anything happens to me, dental x-rays, and got a custom-made mouth guard for Basic training. After that we hit the PX (well, the shopette) to get all the required items for BCT (and the optional items we wanted). Females got a $300 shopping card and males got $250. The card is pretty much like a cash advance and will be deducted from your first paycheck. We had to get our running shoes as well. If you had your own shoes that were less than 3 months old and approved by the DS, then you can keep those. At least that is how the DSes for that day said. The only other things we did that day were lunch and dinner.

The second full day was a lot more waiting. But we got our uniforms issued. A green duffle bag filled with ACUs, field jacket, socks, undershirts, long johns, boots, patrol caps, nametags, and rank (SPC for me!) We walked around in our summer PTs, green boot socks, and summer boots. The uniforms come in almost every size. My ACU blouses are extra small, extra extra short, and my pants are extra small, extra short (yeah I'm pretty tiny!) We threw on the duffle bags and walked around to medical, the chapel (on our way to chow), and back to the barracks. I LOVED it! WE finally got to do something besides sit and wait. Of course, some girls were bitching and dropping their bags. Damn, that bag was half my body weight and half my size, and I made it without a problem!

The second day was nothing but trouble. We got our BCT ID cards (looks like the dependent military IDs except green), direct deposit set up with finance, ACU pictures (ACU top and cap with nametags and rank). The girls (females and males are in separate platoons) are ridiculous. There's so much yelling and screaming and crying. Everyone has something to say (especially about our platoon guide), but no one wants to DO anything. They're leaving crap everywhere, not making their beds (for the record, I did it complete with hospital corners), and won't shut the hell up and do what we're told. We pissed of a female DS (and they're the ones you want to stay away from) so much that she stayed late to give us a "light smoking" in the barracks. Damn, it hurt!

The 3rd and 4th days here were Saturday and Sunday. The only things we did that weekend are formation to march to the DFAC for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, some vaccination trial at medical, and church on Sunday. Some people still managed to screw that up though. I can't wait to get to Basic though! I'm so freaking bored!

During reception, I'm staying in barracks. There's 60 girls in my platoon, and 2 female platoons here. Basically, it's B-I-T-C-H Central. Shouting matches and near fights every day, basically a lot of stuff I mentioned earlier. Think middle school stuff, except you're around girls 24/7! I can't wait to get to basic, but I've heard the attitudes there are even worse. Oh well. At least OCS will be more mature.

Speaking of OCS, there's 3 other OCS candidates here in my platoon. I have no idea who one of them is. Another one will be in my OCS class. She's about 10 years older and comes across as a know-it-all but she seems okay. She pulled out her OCS packet to compare to mine. I guess to size me up. Our attitudes are definitely different, and I've noticed that most of the younger soldiers gravitate more to me than her. The other OC I know is in for her stat's OCS program since she's National Guard.

By the time you read this, I will be in week 1 of basic, and thank God! Wish me luck!

Updates

2007-01-01T15:39:00.000-06:00

I just wanted to let those of you who care know that my friend Donna has graciously volunteered to update this blog with my letters home. She's a fellow Aggie and CVEN grad with her own blog. If anyone is ever looking for places to eat in the Dallas, TX area, check out her restaurant reviews at Donna Cooks. By the way, she's also a badass cook so try out a few of her recipes as well!

Thanks again Donna!

Back from vacation

2006-12-31T16:08:00.000-06:00

San Diego
Well, I had a nice visit to San Diego, CA to watch my Aggies play in the Holiday Bowl. All I heard about Cal was that they were fast, and they showed it! We couldn't do anything! This season was full of incredible moments, as well as a few painful ones. But I still love my team! Gig 'Em Aggies! WHOOP!

I'm posting from my dad's computer right now so there will be no pictures, but San Diego is a beautiful area! My sister and I drove (about 18 hours) from San Antonio. We stayed at the La Pensione Hotel, and it was the perfect location. It's a cute boutique hotel in Little Italy that we booked for $90/night (a bargain compared to the other prices I saw). The rooms were really small with no A/C (who needs it in December), but the rooms were clean, the parking garage was free, and the location was perfect! We were two blocks from Harbor Drive, as well as a trolley station to get to Qualcomm Stadium. We walked all around Little Italy, downtown, Gaslamp district, and Seaport Village. We mostly did the tourist stuff (habor excursion, San Diego Zoo, beach, seafood, etc.) besides the game. My sister and I have hardly seen each other in the past 3 years, so just the two of us spending 5 days together was a little special and a great way to end my civilian life! I can live without that 18-hour drive (that's one way) though. The mountains and desert were nice to see for a few miles (I'd never driven west of SA before), but after that it was boring as hell!

Getting ready for Basic
I guess my recruiter could feel that I was having too good a time in SD because he called to remind me about shipping. I decided against courtesy shipping from San Antonio after calling the SC for my area in SA and hearing him explain the process (CS station sends my packet to Houston MEPS, who sends it to SA MEPS, who send it to SA station). OH HELL NO! That is way too many hands that will be on my packet and way too many opportunities for something to go missing! So, my mom (yes, the parent that exploded when I told her that I was applying for Army OCS) will be driving me to College Station to move my furniture out, clean my bedroom and bathroom, turn in my keys, eat something, and drop me off at 11 am, when my recruiter wants me there. That means that my mom and I have to leave around 6 am. :/

I'm doing that over-thinking thing again. There are a million things running through my mind, and only a few of them are actually relevant to me shipping. I worried about whether the stuff I bring (bras, underwear, girl stuff) needs to be sealed in their original packages or if I can stuff them in zip-lock bags. See, over-thinking. :)
The only things I really need to do are get my eyes checked (which might not be possible), copy my family and friends' addresses and info into my journal, and set up my prepaid phone. Since I'm on the subject, are there any rules about what journals look like? I had one of these in blue laying around so I decided to put it to good use.

Hmm, a female, 5' 1", 110 lb, 09S with pink running shoes, BCGs, and a bright blue journal at Ft. Jackson. I'm sure I'll blend right in! ;)

Going Knots was right though with her comment a few months ago. A little pink in my wardrobe doesn't hurt. One of my family members gave me a Victoria Secrets gift set that included a nice, pink purse as a graduation gift. Surprise, surprise, I like it! :)

The End
Well, this is the end for now. I'm still trying to find someone to update my blog while I'm gone, but most of my family is fairly internet-challenged. I have been told that this is a somewhat helpful blog (which I'm glad to hear because that's part of why I started it), and I don't want to risk losing anything. If there are no updates, I'm bringing the journal for a reason. Just give me a few months!

If anyone wants to hear from me, e-mail me your mailing address, and I'll make sure to add you to my address list.

Have a Happy New Year!

Wheelchairs for Iraqi Kids

2006-12-24T00:14:00.000-06:00

It's late at night, but this is worth it.

Brad Blauser is a fellow Texas Aggie and has been working as a civilian contractor in Iraq for the past couple of years. Besides working, he has gotten involved with several different projects out there, including study bibles for soldiers (upon request), bible study groups, and disributing care packages. But one of his most important projects is the distribution of wheelchairs to Iraqi children. There is a great news story that just aired in Dallas explaining how Brad and other soldiers got involved with this. The story and video are here.

Brad has his own blog, Supporting Troops, to provide updates (and lots of pictures) on care package and the wheelchair distributions.

Wheelchairs for Iraqi Kids has a new goal for 2007: 500 kids wheelchairs at $200 each. So, the organization is hoping to raise $100,000 for these wheelchairs.

If anyone would like to donate, or spread the word, see the official website for Wheelchairs for Iraqi Kids.

Have a safe and happy holiday!

Emotions

2006-12-19T13:27:00.000-06:00

I expected this. I knew that as soon as I graduated that my emotions would start to take over, and they have. I no longer have any final exams or projects to keep my mind off of leaving. I'm excited, nervous, anxious, scared, frustrated, stressed, sad, and happy, and they're all hitting me at the same time. No regret though. I know that becoming a U.S. Army officer is what I want to do, what I want to become.

This all feels a lot like when my family first dropped me off at A&M in August 2001. I wanted to go to A&M since I was 10 years old, and I finally got my chance. But when the time came for my family to leave, I cried, my siblings cried, and my mom cried (and she NEVER cries). My dad told me to suck it up. Looking back now, I loved my time here. I knew A&M was the right place for me. But it was hard leaving a place I called home that first time, and it's hard leaving my second home now. All I have left to do is to sort through what I'm going to sell, donate, throw away, and keep at my parents' house.

I still need to get together what I'm taking to basic. I'm only taking a backpack. So far, the list contains:

small toiletry bottles in a zip-lock bag (might as well get ready for airport security now)
3 days of clothes (the SC requires all shippers to stay overnight at the MEPS hotel before shipping out; also includes a knit shirt and khakis to wear to OCS check-in)
underwear and sports bras (in case my size isn't available when I get there)
feminine products
debit card and a small amount of cash
pay-as-you-go cell phone with my family and friends numbers (don't have to worry about my regular cell phone getting lost, stolen, or damaged)
journal with addresses and phone numbers (also might sneak the OCS required knowledge in there), stationary, and stamps
contacts case and solution, and pray to God that the drill sergeants let me wear them for graduation!

I'll have about 4 days between BCT graduation and my OCS start date, and I'm planning to go straight to Benning. I need to concentrate on getting the OCS packing list together, and from what I've heard, a weekend is plenty of time for that.

Only 15 days left, and 2 more visits with my family.

The picture says it all. . .

2006-12-16T14:39:00.000-06:00

finals, my 2nd FS "function", etc.

2006-12-07T19:07:00.000-06:00

Finals

Well, finals officially start tomorrow. I have concrete design tomorrow and steel design next Wednesday. I need to score a 50 on each final to pass the classes. Of course I'm aiming higher. It's almost over! Then I graduate next Friday and get to receive my diploma from the new Secretary of Defense, Dr. Robert Gates! Whoop! A great man, and it will be an honor to shake his hand and wish him well. :)

FS "function"

I just got back from my second future soldier function. According to SGT Ex, it was mandatory, but I really didn't want to go. It was over the same stuff I learned at my first FS function, and I was mainly concerned about my concrete final tomorrow. He said that the station commander would have to let me off because it's a mandatory FS thing.

So, I walk in to the station and see a couple of other FSes, another recruiter, and the SC. The SC immediately goes on asking how I'm doing in school, how I did in my structures class over the summer (it's been a loooong time since I've talked to him), what finals I had coming up, and if I'm ready to graduate. Yep! I gave him the "only need 50s to pass the classes" line, and he responded with, "Well, glad to see you striving for excellence." Hehe! He told me a little about his younger brother (a CE in Texas) who just started his 3rd job, and he's only been out of school for about 2 years! Yep, if you have a degree in civil engineering, want to earn your professional engineer license, and can breathe, someone out there wants to hire you!

Back to the FS function, the SC asked me about leaving early. I said that I had a concrete final tomorrow, so I was only going to stay for about an hour.

"Hell, you can leave now!"

"Really?!"

"Yeah, I just needed to see how you're doing. Make sure you're still alive."

Yes!!! We talked a little more to make sure I'm ready to ship (missing my degree, direct deposit form, another APFT score), and how to go about courtesy shipping out of San Antonio. Yeah, more paperwork for the recruiters, but it's easier on my family if I shipped out of SA. "Now don't go getting any M.I.P.'s (uhh, little too old for those), or P.I.'s, or anything like that. I know how you engineers are!" I guess he has a lot to worry about then!

So, my second FS function lasted a lovely 3 minutes. Of course, I don't expect that kind of efficiency from the real Army. I was born and raised on "hurry up and wait."

Future OCS classmates

I've said this before, but I don't say it nearly enough. . . I HEART ArmyOCS.com!!!

That site has anything and everything about OCS on there. The best part (now that I'm a selected candidate) is the class forums. There is a forum for each OCS class, and I'm already getting to know some of my classmates. They range from fresh-out-of-college newbies (like me), active duty enlisted, NCOs (even a 1SG), prior service college ops, and blue to green applicants (active duty with another military branch). So, my class has a little bit of everyone so far, and I'm relieved to know that I will be surrounded by so much experience. I'm also a little nervous because I don't have a lot of life experience compared to everyone else.

Well, thanks to ArmyOCS.com, I know I will have a couple of fellow Texans in my class. In fact, we've scheduled an informal get-together next week to meet in person. It'll be nice to get to know some of them, and also find out how they're planning to deal with the OCS packing list, personal vehicles, laptops, etc. It's a lot to think about. Thank goodness finals are keeping my mind occupied at the moment!

Road trip!!!

Guess who's got tickets to see her Aggies play Cal in the Holiday Bowl in San Diego, CA?! ME! WHOOP! And my sister wants to come with me. A nice road trip (nice as in the destination is nice, the driving will suck!) to end my undergrad career and civilian life! We won't have a lot of time or money, but we'll have fun. Hmm, exactly how far is Vegas from San Diego?

Gotta love Texas weather

2006-11-30T10:59:00.000-06:00

Yesterday, it was partly cloudy (but mostly sunny and blue skies by afternoon), a little windy, and around 80 degrees. 24 hours later, it's 35 degrees and raining. :(

My favorite weather is sun, clear sky, a little wind, and temps in the low 40s. I call that South Texas winter (also known as perfect football weather). So, I don't mind the cold, but I hate cold and rain at the same time.

Of course, I know it's pretty mild here compared to some other parts of the country. But I'm still going to complain anyway.

More ramblings

2006-11-29T14:19:00.000-06:00

1. Ahhhh, relief!

Our final presentation of our senior design project was yesterday afternoon. The project involved a proposed 2-story office building and about 300 parking spaces on a 5-acre site. Our job was to design the site. We haven't gotten our grade or comment sheet, but I'm sure my group passed with flying colors! My group is awesome. And I contributed with my 3 slides out of 45. ;)

The design class was completely different from our other classes. It was completely open-ended, and we had to do A LOT of research on our own about calculations and specifications. One of the guys and I worked on the hydraulic analysis for months! Design is an iterative process, and it sucks! I worked on MS Excel spreadsheets so much that the world started looking like one giant spreadsheet! Once we got most of it done, the guy took over the actual design of the detention pond and pipe sizing. I then moved on to help another guy with the structural design. I've written on here about how much I despise structures, and I really, really didn't enjoy it, but it had to be done. Luckily the guy knows his stuff and enjoys the hardcore numbers-crunching (unlike me), and he was great. We ended up with a decent, optimized steel design.

Like I said, my group rocks! We were very thorough in our presentation (probably too much detail), but our prof and the guest engineer were impressed. They are structures guys, but our group structures guy and geotech guy made us look damn good on the Q&A part.

Overall, it was an incredibly frustrating but very useful experience. This is probably the easiest group I've ever worked with. It didn't go completely smooth (we had some communication problems along the way), but we all had a common goal and stayed focused on that. Besides, 4 out of 5 of us are graduating in December! We needed to keep our shit together!

I still have a lot of work to get through in my steel and concrete design classes (and fighting senioritis), so it's far from over. But it's nice to have this presentation over with. All we have left for this class is the final draft of our report.

2. SGT Ex called

I got a surprise call from SGT Ex this past Monday. He wanted to make sure I hadn't died over Thanksgiving break. Thanks for the concern, but I'm not that bad of a driver! ;)

He gave me another lecture about responsibility complete with more entertaining anecdotes. "Why?! Because I need to know that your okay. And that you didn't stay up all day and then drive back late and night and get in an accident. I gotta check up on the people I'm responsible for. You know, the stuff you will be doing in a few months." Oh yeah! He went on about some female LT he had in Korea, and how she tried to drink the country dry. She would even drive her soldiers to the bars!

We BSed a little more. I was in the lab working on my concrete project and was glad to take a break. He asked me the same prying questions (where I went, what I did, what I ate, etc.). I'm not very forthcoming with him when it comes to my personal life. I only answer what he asks. I respect him, but he's my recruiter, not my friend. He has a lot of other things to keep track of. As far as I'm concerned, if it doesn't affect my contract or me shipping, he doesn't need to know. He also said he didn't want to stress me out (see the crapload of work I have going on right now), but I need to get my PFT done before I ship. I had some bad pain in my leg (had to get some x-rays to make sure it wasn't broken) and had to stay off it for two weeks. The pain is finally gone, but I'm afraid to find out how bad my run time is. :(

I told SGT Ex that I was tired of sitting on my ass and wanted to get back out there, and I got another lecture about safety. "NO! Not today. It's raining! I don't want you getting hit by cars. We've had 3 FSes hit by cars. One was a minor thing, but the others were pretty serious." Thanks for the concern, and that is precisely why I only run in the park now! I also used to run the parking garages (no hills here), but I had too many close calls. It's dangerous on the roads of a college town. I've felt more safe walking into traffic in Rome, Italy!

3. Most common search

So, I have one of those site meter things that tells me how people found this site. Besides the link on ArmyOCS.com, the most common referrer is from a web search of BCGs (that's birth control glasses)! Yeah, I'm not looking forward that part of Basic. I actually thought about getting LASIK or something before shipping to BCT just to avoid the dreaded BCGs. I then realized how ridiculous it was for me to spend $3 grand of my own money when the Army could pay for it once I'm in, especially since I'm not going for aviation. The only advice I received (besides laughing from the recruiters) is:

Embrace the Ugly!

Between now and November 23, 2007, 6:48 will be known as

2006-11-26T13:33:00.000-06:00

Twelve to seven! WHOOP!

Yes, I had to do it! Thanks to Texags.com posters Keegan99 for the idea and wealeat09 for the picture.

Oh, how sweet it is!

2006-11-25T22:22:00.000-06:00

Thanksgiving Day

Dallas Cowboys 38, Tampa Bay Buccaneers 10

Friday after Thanksgiving

Some of this:

Which resulted in this:

Followed by this:

In case you have trouble finding the score on the Adzillatron, this photoshop should help:

The 12-7 final score (whoop!) has led to an incredible amount of this:

And I'm enjoying every minute of it! There are some excellent pictures here.

First win against t.u. since 1999, and the team did it at Austin on their Senior Day! The #1 rush defense in the country was shredded by our offense with 244 yards rushing. The day was capped off by a dominating nearly 9-minute, 88-yard drive down the field in the 4th quarter by the offense (again!), and two interceptions after that to seal the win! Way to go Ags! Whoop! I'm proud of this team, and the coaching staff (proof that miracles do happen)! :)

Enjoy the next 364 days Ags! You played hard and deserve the bragging rights! WHOOP!

I've hit a milestone!

2006-11-22T12:08:00.000-06:00

Thanksgiving break is here! That means there's 3 weeks until graduation and about 5 weeks until I ship. Yesssss! I'm only taking 9 hours, but they require an insane amount of studying and research outside of class. I'm going to savor every minute of today, Thursday, and Friday because once I get back, it's going to be tough. The final presentation for our senior design project is Tuesday, and we're presenting to our professor and 3 professional engineers, who are also A&M former students. We have 20 minutes to speak, and they will then proceed to rip our project to pieces (yes, the one we've been working on since August). I doubt they will stress me out much as the Battalion Board did, but they could come close! Besides that, there's also the final written report (about 280 pages with all of our calculations and references), another concrete design project part (7 parts down, 3 to go!), concrete design homework, and the usual steel design homework. So close, yet so far!

Anyway, I hope everyone has a safe and happy Thanksgiving (you recruiters do get this day off, right?!).

BTHOtu! WHOOP!

"There's stupid, and then there's Army stupid"

2006-11-19T10:11:00.000-06:00

Again, I try to keep politics off here, but I found the link from a poster on ArmyOCS.com:

God Bless our Military!

Other random crap: Last night, I was reminded why I only gamble with monopoly money. OSU beat Michigan last night, USC beat Cal (UF is most likely still on the outside looking in), and Rutgers' cinderella season ended with a start-to-finish ass-kicking from Cincinnati. But there was no 1-point loss for A&M this week. We kicked the crap out of that bye week! ;)

The "whenever I feel like it" puzzle

2006-11-17T16:57:00.000-06:00

This was the view from our room at the Edelweiss Lodge and Resort in Garmisch, Germany in August 2005. We were only there for a night, but Edelweiss is a sweet place! For those of you that don't know, Edelweiss is a resort for the military and their dependents, and it is really nice! You're at the base of the Zuspitze, the tallest peak in Germany. There's all kinds of tours, bike rides, and outdoors stuff for all ages (there were lots of kids running around). So, if you get a chance, GO!!

First chance I get, I'm going back there! Maybe, I can fit in some snowboarding. I've always wanted to try it.

Anyway, on to the puzzles. For reference, the full picture is given below:

Sliding Puzzle

Jigsaw Puzzle

Hopes dashed again!

2006-11-12T14:24:00.000-06:00

Yep, another weekend and another 1-point loss at Kyle Field, my last home game as a student. Losing like that always sucks because people will drive themselves (and everyone around them) insane playing the "what-if" game. I'm not looking forward to the armchair-coaches in class this week. For now, I'm staying relaxed. I have too many important things going on to waste time with the "what-if" game. I did have a small smile on my face later that night when I watched Kansas State beat up on the longhorns. Ha ha! The entire time, I expected tu (that's University of Texas in Aggie terms) to come back and win like they did against Nebraska and Texas Tech, but KSU never let up. Turnovers plus the longhorns' shitty pass defense did them in (sounds eerily like last year's Aggie season). I hope they play like that when we play them on the Friday after Thanksgiving (not likely, they'll be pissed). Also, OSU and Michigan both won big, and that is a game I'm dying to see! I picked Michigan and Florida to play for the NC. With all the one-loss teams losing, UF now has a shot, and I might be right! Too bad I'll be in Basic Training by then and probably won't get to see it. :(

What else. . . Oh, I started a pull-up workout this morning. Since pull-ups (with hands facing towards and away from the body, I'm not sure about the pullup/chinup terms) are required in OCS and I'm shipping for Basic in less than two months, I figured it was better late than never to start working on them. Yeah, I need A LOT of work!! I don't think any of them counted as 1/2 of one! My roommate was nice enough to help me out, and we headed to the "fitness park" here. Basically, I grabbed the bar, and she held my legs and lifted me up until my chin was above the bar. Then I slowly lowered myself (about 10 seconds) instead of just letting myself drop like I wanted to (with roommie's help). I started off only doing 5. I talked her into trying them, and she stopped after 2. "Depressing," she said. My thought exactly! We're going to do this every other day for now and work from there. I'm not sure when we'll actually see improvement though.

I also have to work on my run. I had another bad run today, and I'm getting worried. :(

Another side note: I love the new "Army Strong" commercials! I wasn't that impressed with the slogan, but the commercials are great. However, I doubt it will ever top "Be all that you can be." Even now, I still remember the melody.

Quite a shock!

2006-11-08T13:41:00.000-06:00

I usually try to keep my personal political views out of this blog, but I received an e-mail earlier that was quite a shock. It appears that Dr. Robert (Bob) Gates, the current president of Texas A&M University, has been nominated by Pres. Bush for Secretary of Defense.

I was just finishing up my first year at A&M when Dr. Gates became president. He wasn't the first choice. The other finalist was former TX Senator Phil Gramm, who was also a long-time professor of economics here. Dr. Gates was interim Dean of the Bush School of Government here for about 2 years (during that time was the collapse of Aggie Bonfire), but many people, including myself, believed that Dr. Gates couldn't possibly understand the uniqueness of Aggieland. To us, Texas A&M is not just a school. It's a second home and an extended family. That special feeling and pride we get about our school is the Aggie Spirit, and I felt it on my very first visit to A&M as a high school student. I fell in love with this place, and Aggieland will always be my second home. At that time, the majority of current and former students believed that Sen. Gramm was a shoe-in as president. But it was not to be. In August 2002, Dr. Gates took the office, and A&M has never been better.

We were wrong. He understood the Aggie Spirit more than anyone could have hoped for. I don't necessarily agree with every decision he has made, but Dr. Gates was the best thing that happened to A&M in a long time. He has spear-headed many changes, and they were rarely "quick fixes." The changes were made with the future in mind, the long-term outcome of the programs he initiated. We didn't make it easy for him, that's for sure! Aggies are extremely stubborn. Like I said, A&M is a special place that we care about. The former students loved the campus when they were students and wanted to forever keep A&M that way. There was a lot of resistance to some of the changes made, but Dr. Gates stayed strong, communicated the "why" (he's a very good communicator), moved on with the changes, and updated us with the progress.

He not only went up against stubborn Aggies, but he waded through the politics that come with being president of a flagship school. A few years ago, the Supreme Court upheld that race could be used in college admissions. Everyone was up in arms because character should be the only thing that matters in admissions. Several other Texas schools immediately stated that race would be considered in admissions, including the other flagship school. But Dr. Gates was different. He put out a statement saying that A&M would NOT consider race in admissions. Not only that, but he established scholarship programs for first-generation college students, never once mentioning that race would be considered. He took A LOT of criticism for it from other schools and government officials. One state Rep actually said that A&M was racist for NOT using race in admissions. There was a lot of political pressure, including threats to our funding, but Dr. Gates stood firm. I was already impressed with him, but making that decision and then standing up for it just impressed the hell out of me. He was never out for that quick fix. He wanted things that would work, that would make a difference, and he did that and more at A&M.

Those same Aggies that believed Dr. Gates couldn't possibly understand A&M now don't want to let him go! I'm a little nervous for him. As crazy as politics has gotten, I hope he is able to do his job effectively because I truly believe he will do it well. From his e-mail sent to A&M students, faculty, and staff:

I love Texas A&M deeply, but I love out country more and, like the many Aggies in uniform, I am obligated to do my duty.

I just watched the official press conference. All I can say is politics be damned! This country better know how lucky they are to have a man like Dr. Gates in this position! Because if this country doesn't appreciate him, A&M will be glad to take him back!

Gig 'Em Dr. Gates! You were a perfect fit at A&M, and you will be missed. I wish you all the best!

For those who want a little more information about Dr. Gates, here's a short bio.

Must keep going!

2006-11-06T22:34:00.000-06:00

Well, after a very disappointing, frustrating, and heartbreaking loss to OU on Saturday (yes, I'm still pissed about it!), I managed to recover enough to watch my beloved Dallas Cowboys play against those damn redskins! Wow, what a mistake that was! The little pieces of my heart that made it through Saturday night were ground into dust after that blocked Cowboys field goal that turned into a field goal for the redskins. Noooooooooo! And that was NOT a 15-yd facemask penalty!! 5 yards for incidental contact maybe, but no way was that worth 15-yards.

Yeah, it was a tough football weekend for me and my fellow Aggies/Cowboys fans. I absolutely love my teams and will continue to suffer through the good, bad, and downright ugly games I've witnessed. No one says being loyal is easy. :(

Right now, my sanity is hanging by a thread. I have a 2-hour night exam tomorrow for my concrete design class. I've been studying for over a week but still feel like I know nothing, and everyone I know feels the same way. Also, the first exams pretty much scared the crap out of all of us. The section that just got their exams back averaged a 54! 80% of the class failed. Luckily, I am in the other section, and our average was a "respectable" 61. :/

My other classes are going much better than that, though they are far from enjoyable for me. They are a lot of work and frustration in areas that I have little interest in. But A&M says I have to pass them (I'll take the word of a top 10 CE department), so that's what I have to do.

I can't believe it's November already! In a little over a month, I'll be walking the stage and being handed a piece of paper I've wanted since I was 10 years old and worked 5.5 years to get! Both my parents have college degrees, and they didn't do the traditional "4 years and out." My dad took 5.5 years, and he was on an Army ROTC scholarship and held jobs all through school. My mom took 9 years. She would take classes one semester and spend the next semester working to earn money to pay for another semester of classes. She kept at it, and it payed off. She earned her BS and met and married my dad! :)

I'll be the first one in my generation to get a college degree, and my entire family is EXTREMELY excited and driving me crazy! Announcements, pictures, hotels, graduation, blah blah blah. My mom is actually making me spend $200 on a decent diploma frame! And there was not one single complaint about dropping over $100 on 35 announcements! On top of all that (already a lot of money to me), she actually wants to rent out a hotel for my graduation party/goodbye party (shipping out about 2 weeks after graduation). I said no, but I've slowly learned that this is more about them than it is about me. They've been looking forward to this day for a looooong time. Don't even get me started on the whole post-graduation fiasco I will have going on (visiting my friends, OCS packing list and paying for it, taking care of financial stuff, buying a car, finding a place to move my stuff, etc.).

I'm incredibly excited about the opportunity that awaits me, but I'm going to have to sort through a lot of stuff in the 2 months before my ship date! I just got to take one day at a time, starting with that damn concrete exam!

Un-f*cking-believable!!!!!!!!!

2006-11-05T11:08:00.000-06:00

It had been primarily a defensive game. Aggies are down 16-17 late in the 4th quarter, and OU had the ball. . . the Aggie Defense held and put OU in a "4th down and inches" situation. If OU makes it, they run down the clock and win the game. If they don't make it, A&M get the ball back only 25-ish yard away from the endzone and around 1:30 left on the clock!

A&M used their last timeout to stop the clock after OU's run play on 3rd down (clock doesn't stop in the 4th quarter).

Then OU uses a timeout. The crowd is going nuts and yelling through the timeout and the Aggie defense is jumping around asking for more noise.

OU lines up at the line of scrimmage, and snap the ball. Aggies held them! Aggies held them!

Wait. . . OU sideline called a timeout before the ball was snapped! Damnit! The crowd keeps yelling (It was pretty loud, but I've heard louder). The Aggie defense is out there again, jumping around, asking the crowd to yell even louder!

OU lines up and snaps the ball! Refs blow the play dead! False start on them, false start on them. . . oh please, be a false start on OU! NOPE!

"Illegal procedure on the defense. 12 players on the field. 5 yard penalty. First down Oklahoma."

WHAT THE F*CK! Are you f*cking sh*tting me?! After lights out play from the defense in the 2nd half. . . after 3 timeouts where the defense was jumping up and down (and apparently not checking themselves) . . . we f*cking hand OU the f*cking first down and the f*cking win! Oh my f*cking goodness!!!!!!!!!!!

Every Aggie fan watching the game (from Kyle Field in College Station, TX to Iraq) were so f*cking pissed, and it had little to do with that penalty! A&M had scored in 2 previous possessions. Unfortunately, they were only field goals. We were inside the 10 both times. Instead of using our 274-lb running back, (yes, that weight is correct, and he's #11 Jorvorskie Lane, also known as the J-Train) who had been pretty much unstoppable all game, Coach Fran called passing plays. Then when they were unsuccessful (surprise, surprise), the coach put the field goal unit on the field on 4th down. At one time, we were 4th and goal from the 2!!! Just take the chance and give it to the J-Train. But nooooooooo, this coach keeps playing it safe. Honestly, I can understand that thinking because our D was playing absolutely incredible! But that doesn't mean we were f*cking happy with it. The team wanted to go for it. They believed they could make it. But after all the praise that Coach Fran was heaping on the team. . . all the talk about how special this team is, how hard they work, how they never quit, their own coach is the one who quits on the team! God, I knew it. . . it was just like the Texas Tceh game! He played it safe by taking a field goal and 3 point lead with 2 minutes left in the game, and we lost! He played it safe here, when everything was going our way, and we lost!!! And that 12-man penalty is on the coaching staff as well. 3 f*cking timeouts and no one checked!!

I feel so bad for our players. They played their hearts out. Only to be held back by their own coach, and I wish I could say I was surprised by that, but his trademark is playing it safe, playing "not to lose" instead of playing to win. A win here was a step closer to the Big 12 South championship. You don't get there by playing it safe. And then to end the game like that! Heart-breaking! This one will be tough to get over! Please coaches, for the love of God, get some balls! Borrow a pair from your players if you have to, but don't ever give up like that again!! Our players deserve better! They would have won the game. The Aggie fans, the OU fans, the players themselves believed it. Why are you on the outside looking in?!

On a much, much, much lighter note, Gameday was fun! I ended up oversleeping and just watched it on tv, but the fans were great! Some of my favorite signs (courtesy of stacyreeves.com):

"I'm with listeater" and "The listeater ate my other sign" (see here and here for explanations of the infamous listeater!)
Aggie Homer (that would be Homer Simpson wearing an Aggie sweater and hat)
"Our RB is fatter than yours"
"Bob Stoops hates Children" with a picture of the kid crying at the OU-Texas game.
Lee Corso cut-out saying "J-Train. . . Choo-Choo"
"Bob Stoops wears granny panties"
"Rhett Bomar Clobbers Big City Prices" (you'll only get that if you've lived in the Brazos Valley, but trust me, it's funny!)
"Wanted: Pac 10 Officials"
"I am the 12th Man" (of course, whoop!)

Well, that game is over, and it's time to look ahead to Nebraska. My usual group of 6 will be in line to pull tickets bright and early at 6am Monday morning (ticket office opens at 7). It will be my last, last, last game as a student, and this may be the last game I see in person for a while. I love my school, I love Aggie football, and I love every one of those players (fellow Aggies) that play their hearts out on the field! I wish I could say the same about our coaching staff. :(

BTHO Nebraska!

8 hours of engineering and the Cardiac Kids strike again

2006-10-29T23:03:00.000-06:00

For starters, I took the FE Exam on Saturday. FE stands for Fundamentals of Engineering, and passing it is considered the first step towards a Professional Engineer license (pretty much mandatory for the civil engineering field). It's an 8-hour exam that covers the entire engineering program. The morning session covers general engineering topics - math, chemistry, statics, dynamics, thermodynamics, etc. Basically, it's stuff that I hoped to never see again. I had 4 hours to finish 120 multiple-choice questions. I finished with about 3 minutes to spare. There's no penalty for wrong answers, so I randomly bubbled in answers when the 5-minute warning came. And some of that stuff I do NOT remember learning. When the hell was I supposed to learn binary?! Anyway, we had an hour for lunch and got to relax. And then it was back to the afternoon session. For this session, I had to pick one section to complete. I could choose a discipline-specific section or general engineering section that was more in depth that the morning. I chose the civil portion. All sections are 60 questions, and we had another 4 hours to complete them. It only took me 3 hours. Most people picked their discipline section and were done by that time. I had trouble with some stuff, but overall, it was doable (even structures, which I absolutely despise). The hardest part was staying awake and concentrating for that long. I'll find out if I passed in about 8 weeks (around my ship date). I'm fairly confident considering that A&M has a freakishly high first-time passing rate, something like 94%. My reward for an 8-hour engineering exam. . . a few beers, listening to my Ags at Baylor over internet radio, and some steel design homework. I'm such a party girl. :/

The game wasn't nearly as close as in the past couple of weeks. The Ags won by 10 points, a blowout compared to the rest of our Big 12 wins. Our defense was crap in the 1st half, giving up big pass plays. One of the Baylor receivers had something like 180 yards on 5 catches. Un-freaking-believable! Luckily, he got 160 of them in the first half, and the Ag defense stepped up and stopped those big plays in the second half. Stats-wise, A&M dominated the game, but it felt tight. Flashes of 2004 (game went to OT and A&M lost to Baylor for the first time in almost 20 years) were going through my mind, but then #3 Michael Goodson. . . oh man, words cannot describe the speed he showed! The quality isn't that great but watch this. We were only up by 3 with 2 minutes left in the 4th. That 64-yd touchdown run iced the game. Unfortunately, Baylor's starting QB went down. He managed to come back in but ended up having to be carried off the field a play or 2 later. I heard today that it was a torn ACL. He's a senior, so he won't be able to finish out his last season. :(

So, A&M is now in sole possession of 2nd place in the Big 12 South and plays Texas (#1 in the Big 12 South) on the Friday after Thanksgiving. Basically, we control our destiny. Now back to reality: up next is Oklahoma. A&M was not on tv for the past 2 weekends, but this weekend will be ABC prime time. . . whoop!. And, as I just found out, ESPN GAMEDAY WILL BE AT KYLE FIELD!!! This just adds to the buildup for the weekend. Except for about 5 of you, none of you know what I look like (although I might have posted a picture on here before). In case you do watch Gameday, I'll be the Aggie chick in maroon who's yelling her ass off! :)

GIG 'EM AGGIES!! BTHO OU! Whoop!

Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

2006-10-22T14:24:00.000-05:00

Oh my God! I keep asking for blowout wins, but my Ags just love giving me near heart attacks! I think last night took about 5 years off my life. Multiply that by the games I've seen for the past 5.5 seasons, and I may not live to see my ship date!

To sum up last night:
My Aggies playing at Oklahoma State as their homecoming game, there's no tv, so I am forced to listen to streaming radio, and the Aggie defense hasn't been playing very well. . .

About 10 minutes left in the 4th, and A&M scores a TD and extra point to tie the game at 20-20. . .

With 3 minutes left in the game, OSU scores a TD and extra point to go ahead 27-20. . .

Ags begin to drive the field. . .

OSU holds my Ags to 4th and 12. . .

Jorvorskie Lane makes a one-handed catch for a 1st down to keep the drive alive!. . .

With 3 seconds left in the game, A&M scores a touchdown! WHOOP!. . .

Extra point is goooood, and we're headed to overtime at 27-27. . .

Ags get 1st possession in OT. . .

Score a TD and the extra point to take the lead 34-27. . . WHOOP!

OSU takes their 1st OT possession. . .

TD to make it 34-33. . .

Extra point coming up. . .

The ball is snapped. . .

It's up. . .

It's. . .

BLOCKED! Aggies win! Aggies win!

Oh my goodness! Those pauses from the play-by-play guys felt like hours. But when he yelled "blocked!" my little no-rhythm ass was dancing around my room before I collapsed on my bed to catch my breath. Damn, what a game (except for our defense sucking)! I can't believe the OSU AD didn't want pay-per-view for this game!

Up next is Baylor, who is tied with us for 2nd place in the Big 12 South. As of now, there's no tv planned for this game either (booooo!), so I may have to suffer through radio again. The FE Exam (an important 8-hour exam that is the first step in getting a professonal engineer's license) is that Saturday as well. The test ends at 5pm, and I will probably be sharing a pitcher at Northgate by 5:10pm. Come on Ags!

In other news. . .
I have realized that I didn't plan my ship date very well. Jan. 3rd is the same day as the Sugar Bowl, and the Championship game is the following week. And I'll probably be in red phase when the Superbowl comes on. :(

Do you think that MEPS considers college football as a legitimate excuse to delay a ship date for an OCS applicant? For a future officer, this was very poor planning on my part!

Oh where do I begin?!

2006-10-17T21:50:00.000-05:00

1. SWE National Conference in Kansas City, Missouri

Me and 13 fellow Aggies were at the conference from Thursday to Sunday. The actual conference stuff was okay. Some of the workshops were interesting, and I completed a few SWE leadership modules. The career fair was fun! I pretty much glossed over already having an opportunity so I could talk to companies and get free stuff. Unfortunately, I also got caught by the photographer talking to a Navy officer recruiter. :(
I tried to yank a mug, but she cornered me. She was very nice and very enthusiastic about the CEC (civil engineering corps). I would be doing a lot of civil engineering work around the world right out of training. All of the Navy officers looked impressive in their dress uniforms, especially when compared to the Army COL at the USACE (Army Corps of Engineers) booth. The COL had ACU's on, which seemed very out of place when everyone else (students and recruiters) had on business attire. As far as appearance, the Navy reps won hands down (sorry, but it's my opinion). Content, on the other hand, went to the Army. The Navy officer kept going on about the pure CVEN work, and she emphasized that she was in Iraq but never, ever close to combat. The way she talked about it, she was an engineer that had to do PT occasionally. She never mentioned military life or being a leader. I found that very interesting and somewhat disappointing. One of my neighbors is a Seabee in the Reserves, and he always talked to me about being a leader and taking care of everyone and everything he's responsible for.

Anyway, after a few meals at chain restaurants, we finally talked the rest of the group into branching out and trying a local place on Friday night. After having to get a jump start for one of the rental cars and getting lost in downtown KC, some very nice (and very good-looking) security guards gave us directions to The Bronx, a local pizza place that served NYC pizza. Damn, the pizza was great! We had a 16" and a 30" (yes, a 2.5 ft diameter pizza was brought to our table). And we ate it all! There were 4 slices left, and I just could not stand leaving them there. So I managed to fit them in along with the other 5 slices I had. After that, the 21+ crowd hit a local bar for some drinks. Because to all that pizza, I couldn't even get a buzz after 3 pints of Guiness. :(
We had the best bartender. Mark at "Street Car Named Desire" is a good man!

In between the conference stuff on Saturday, we got to do a little sight-seeing. We walked around Union Station and went to the train museum in the basement (remember, we're engineering majors). I almost didn't go because the A&M game was starting, but 3 of us stayed behind to go to the Liberty Memorial. Even though I got a little teary-eyed in the WW1 museum (I hate crying in public), I'm so glad I went.

After that was Aggie football. I was in Missouri watching A&M play Missouri at Kyle Field. We got back from the Museum at the beginning of the 2nd half. Apparently the 1st half was crappy (again), but the Ags pulled it out. I think the Missouri fans there were more entertained by our reactions to every play than they were at the game. hey, we're Texas Aggies. . . we're "enthusiastic!" ;)
And. . . we won! Whoop!

More conference stuff after the game, but Saturday night was a blast. . . well, for 3 of us. After so much talk about going out and seeing the nightlife, only 3 of us ended up going out to Westport. I'm leaving the details out, but we had a great time!

2. CSPD's visit on Monday night

It had been raining hard all day long and into the evening. Around 7:30pm, I was sound asleep in my room (catching up on sleep from my late night out in KC). All of a sudden, a man is banging on our door yelling, "CSPD! Open this door! We have a 911 hangup call from this address!" My roommate who was at home and I were immediately suspicious. We don't have a phone connected to our land line. It's only used for DSL. There's no way someone just called 911 from our house. Strike One. The guy keeps banging on our door and yelling to open it. My roommate looked through the peephole, and she yelled through the door about 5-6 times for him to hold up his ID, but he doesn't. Strike Two. I peek through the blinds to see if there's a police car outside, but I don't see one. Srike Three! I'm looking for my cell pone to call CSPD and see if this guy is real. I'm looking for my phone when the guy finally tells us to look through my bedroom window to see him in his uniform, and he holds up his badge. We decide to open the door, and he barges in, yelling at us for not opening the door, and he says he needs to search the home to make sure no one is hurt. He's going through all our rooms, and then wants to know what the hell is going on. For all I know, he could be a bad guy in costume that just went through our house to see if we're alone. I asked him if we could take this conversation outside. At least then, he would be out of our house, and I would be in full view of our neighbors, who were all outside by now.

So, we walk outside, and the first thing out of his mouth. . . "Are you two having problems? Is she beating on you?" WHAT THE F***?! I was so shocked I couldn't say anything for a moment. Are you kidding me?! "NO! She's my roommate! I just wanted you out of the house. You are banging on our door, don't show ID when we asked you to. We don't have a phone connected to our landline. It's only for DSL. I have no freaking idea what the hell you are talking about!" He tells me to calm down and proceeds to ask me the same questions over and over again (probably to see if I'm telling the truth). "No, we didnt' call 911. We don't have a phone connected to our landline. Our landline is only used for DSL. We use our cell phones." He takes our names and birthdays, and explains that 911 hangups can sometimes happen when it has been raining hard and the rain messes with the phone connection. Uhh, thanks for the info. I was so pissed off at all this. He then proceeds to talk down to me like I'm some no-nothing little girl. I'm well-aware that 911 hangups are dangerous. I know men can beat their girlfriends and hide them from cops. I was listening to his point of view. Now listen to mine: I will not open the door to someone who does not show ID and refers to a call from a landline we don't have! HELL NO!!!!!

After he left, my roommate called CSPD's non-emergency phone to ask about this, just to be safe. They had this incident in the system, so the cop at our door was legit. They also let us know that the mysterious 911 hangup calls like that do happen ocassionally during bad storms. Damn, all this because of the damn rain!!

3. I despise my classes.

Yup, that pretty much says it all.

January 3 is the day!

2006-10-11T20:32:00.000-05:00

MEPS finally came through for me. Yes!!!

I just got back with my new ship date in hand. . . Jan. 3! I'll be shipping from Houston MEPS on the 3rd, start BCT at Ft. Jackson on the 12th, and OCS on March 20. I finally have a target date. Yay!

Unfortunately, I don't have time to celebrate. The trip to MEPS was a few hours earlier than planned, so I didn't even think to bring my homework. I have to get that crap out of my way, and I still have to pack for a 4-day conference in Missouri. My group leaves tomorrow at 5 AM!

This MEPS experience was suprisingly pleasant. The counselors were cool, and my reno was taken care of pretty quickly. It took about 20 minutes, but I had to wait another 2 hours while another recruit took the ASVAB. Another recruiter (I'll call him SGT Cav) drove me, so we just BSed outside. He's got some great drinking stories. I can't wait to have some of my own!

Another fall weekend and waiting around for MEPS

2006-10-08T14:18:00.000-05:00

I'm a fairly active member in Society of Women Engineers (SWE) on campus. Don't laugh. We all have great personalities. Anyway, I was in Houston yesterday for an engineering mentor luncheon at the Cheesecake Factory (SWE really knows how to plan an event!), which was all paid for. Fun, free food and cheesecake. . . could it get any better than that? Oh yes it can! Shiner Bock-drinking and Aggie Football-watching (a game we won) can make anything better!

The luncheon was held at 11, the same time that A&M at Kansas was kicking off. I would probably miss the first half. Damnit! Well, I planned ahead and found the nearest sports bar within walking distance of the Cheesecake Factory. . . Fox Sports Bar and Grill. That was by far the nicest sports bar I have ever been in! I didn't try the food (too full from the luncheon), but it looked good on the plate. My friend and I just ordered a few rounds and chips and salsa (some tasty, chunky, spicy salsa and even the chips were seasoned). We got there with about 13:30 left in the 3rd and my Ags down 10-7. Two minutes later, down 13-7. And then, after a fumbled snap to the punter in the endzone, 15-7. Damn! But my Ags battled back. The offense scored a touchdown early in the 4th but missed the 2-point conversion. We were down by 5 in the 4th and needed great defense and a touchdown to win the game. The defense did their thing (they played fairly decent throughout the game), but with about 2 minutes left in the game, the offense put together an impressive drive and scored a touchdown and 2-point conversion with 34 seconds left. That effort gave the Ags a 3-point lead and this season's first conference win! Whoop! Great job team for not giving up after being down the entire game! It may have been ugly, but it's a win.

As for MEPS. . . I expected to head back last Thursday to get my new ship date. Of course, the confirmation call from SGT Ex never came. I'm starting to get a little impatient, and I think SGT Ex can sense my frustration. The "be patient. . . we just have to get the okay from them. . . it will get done in time" lines were really laid on thick in our last conversation. Now I will have to work around a lab time, project team meetings, a 4-day trip to the SWE national convention, and a make-up exam. I can't really be upset though because it is my fault that I have to postpone my BCT and OCS dates.

I know my posts can be wordy, so in summary:
* Cheesecake Factory is good (especially when you're not paying)
* Fox Sports Bar and Grill is greatness (if you're any kind of sports fan living in or near these areas, try it out)
* Aggies win (whoop!)
* MEPS takes too freaking long :(

Yep, still a rivalry

2006-10-05T22:13:00.000-05:00

So, this year's Aggie football season has been disappointing so far, but I've come to expect it unfortunately. Of course, I will still be yelling for my Ags to beat the hell out of whoever they're playing (at Kansas this weekend).

Speaking of football, a lot of people say that the A&M-tu rivalry is dead. Oh, it's still there! Despite not being much of a competitive game (A&M last won in 1999), Texas Aggies and Longhorns still do what they can to screw the other school over:

UT student swipes Capitol steps from Aggies

Student reserved south steps, so Texas A&M yell practice has to move.

By Claire Osborn
AMERICAN-STATESMAN STAFF
Friday, October 06, 2006

Every two years, Aggies from near and far have descended on the state Capitol's south steps for a midnight yell practice the night before their football team faces the University of Texas at Royal-Memorial Stadium.

Not this year.

Rest of article here.

Something will be worked out. After all, the Texas Governor is an Aggie (Mr. Adios Mofo). I will say that as a rivalry prank, this is somewhat impressive, and I have to give the guy props, even though he is completely full of Bevo bullshit:

"I didn't realize how big of a deal it was until I got call a from Texas Exes, who explained to me, 'Do you know what you've gotten into?' " he said.

He said he didn't realize when he made the reservation this year that the Capitol yell practice had become a tradition for Aggies.

See here for an explanation of Midnight Yell Practice. He's president of tu's hellraisers, so he knows damn well what he's doing. Unfortunately for him, the tu online directory lists not only classifications and majors but students' phone numbers and home addresses as well. Oops! I hope he's prepared. ;)

It's Gameday! Whoop!

2006-09-30T11:04:00.000-05:00

Well, now I know why I felt like crap on my run. That stupid virus going around campus finally got me. I should have known. I get it every fall. Of course, even though I'm sick, I'm still going to see Aggie football today. Yes, that is selfish, but everyone will get the virus eventually. I'm just speeding up the process. ;)

You know it's gameday in Aggieland when your morning wakeup call consists of 4 F-18s flying over your house. I love the fly-bys before the game, and so does everyone else. A&M actually has a waiting list for them. We're already booked up through next season. Last week we had 3 F-16s. They hit the after burners when they went over Kyle Field! Great sound, and the number of car alarms going off was crazy. I hope the F-18s will do the same. They put on a good show yesterday afternoon, and they're looking good right now.

That said, I think I need to lay off this blog for a while. When I first heard the jets, the first thing I thought was "Oh, I'll post this on my blog!" How sad! There's not much going on anyway. I'll be heading back to MEPS to reno my contract, and, from what I've heard, there may be an $8000 09S bonus offered again starting October 1. SGT Ex said he would look into it this week. I'll let everyone know what he finds out.

So, have a good weekend and don't get sick (it's very annoying).

BTHO Texas Tceh!

* Note: That's not a photoshop. That really did happen!

I took the easy way out tonight :(

2006-09-28T22:40:00.000-05:00

I'm sorry to say that I gave up. I don't know what happened, but I quit my run. I run a little over 3 miles 5 times a week, but tonight, I gave up after 10 minutes. Even worse, I only ran a little over a mile by that time.

Nothing felt right. The street light that I always park under was out. Half the lamp posts on the trail were out. The runners that I usually see along my route were not there. I started out, and I wasn't feeling it. My form was all over the place. Sometimes I was leaning back and then I was leaning too far forward. My head bounced around like a bobblehead. My foot strike, arms, and breathing were completely out of sync with each other. I tried to get everything in rhythm with the Army run cadences I was listening to on my mp3 player, but it never happened.

By 1/4 mile, I was already out of breath. My head was throbbing, and my throat was so dry that every breath hurt. I couldn't see straight (probably due more to the lack of lighting and my contacts moving around). Even now, over an hour later, my head is still throbbing.

I hate to sound like a little chickenshit, but all those "wrongs" kind of scared me. I'll probably never find out why, but there's only one way to fix this: Get my ass back out there!

Another year gone by

2006-09-24T16:46:00.000-05:00

Yep, today was my birthday. The big 2-3. Damn, I'm almost a quarter of a century old! And what have I learned in my 23 years? I'd love to share some words of wisdom at this moment, but frankly, I'm just a college student. That's not much experience compared to some of you readers. One thing I have learned. . . life rarely goes the way you want it to. It doesn't mean your dreams won't come true. You just have to work to make it happen. I believe the saying is F.I.D.O.

I had a pretty good birthday. It was mostly celebrated yesterday when my family drove in from SA, and my sister drove down from the Ft. Worth area just to have lunch with me before the game against LA Tech. I spent today sleeping in, finally getting up and doing my p/u and s/u sets, sitting on my ass watching football, and finishing my homework. Substitute "finishing homework" with "drinking Shiner Bock," and it would have been my perfect Fall weekend. Now if you will excuse me, I have a 0500 date with the Kyle Field ticket office for A&M vs. Texas Tech student tickets. BTHOTTech!

Myspace and BOLC II

2006-09-20T13:15:00.000-05:00

I did it. I'm weak. I succumbed to peer pressure and got a Myspace account. And it was an Army recruiter from Ohio who got me into it! I was searching for blogs about Army OCS and SGT Malloy's Future Soldier Site came up. In one of his earlier blog posts, he had a great video of BOLC II (that's Basic Officer Leadership Course Phase II). As of late 2006, every new Army LT is required to attend this 6-week course. Since it's somewhat new, information about the experience has been hard to find. The video on SGT Malloy's site is very informative, breaking down the course by week. But yeah, in order to contact him to see if I could post a link on ArmyOCS.com to help out the other posters, I had to get a Myspace account (that's about as detailed as my profile will get). So, I'm very displeased to join the cult, and SGT Malloy is my only friend on there. Now, if I had no self-esteem and worried about how my lack of friends looked to people I would never meet, I might give a damn. Nope, I don't, and the video was worth it. Of course, after posting on ArmyOCS.com, a BOLC II instructor who posts there gave me a link to the Ft. Benning BOLC II site that has all 3 videos on there. So, I got trapped into Myspace for nothing.

The game (grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!) and SGT Ex

2006-09-17T21:37:00.000-05:00

Well, for those of you who know me personally (about 5 of y'all), I was really, really, REALLY pissed off last night! I wanted to see a football game, and all I saw was crap! Very, very disappointing! USMA deserved to win. Hell, the Ags were freaking handing them the game, giving them chance after chance! I was extremely relieved when the clock hit 0:00, but I did feel a little bad seeing their players and fans in near tears at the end. I've been there before, and if the Ags continue to play that badly, I will be feeling that disappointment again. With that said, I am now the biggest fan of the new clock rule! That was the only thing that saved our ass!

The game definitely didn't feel like a just a game though. I had been looking forward to this game for a few years, right up until USMA decided to move it to San Antonio. Damnit, I wanted a cool roadtrip! Well, since USMA was the home team, they had their march in and pregame ceremony stuff. I expected that, but I didn't think how the Army would use this as a recruiting event. I'm very proud about being a future soldier, but damn! It was like recruiting overload! Everything including future soldiers marching onto the field and being sworn in (okay, I was jealous), a commissioning ceremony, Army reserve commercials, soldiers bussed in from Ft. Hood (why they didn't use any from Ft. Sam Houston, I don't know), and everyone being annouced graduated from one of the schools. USMA this, A&M that, Patriotism this, Army that! I don't know. I was in football mode, so all the extra stuff threw me off. Does that make me a bad FS?

Speaking of recruiting, the CS station has these radio commercials airing about OCS and Special Forces. I was on my way home from the lab last Tuesday when I first heard it (leadership, training, travel - basically some of the reasons I decided to go for OCS). The commercial spot reminded me that I hadn't talked to SGT Ex in a few weeks. I've e-mailed him a few times, but I hadn't actually talked to him in a while.

Basically, he said:

I'm a mind-reader because he was planning to call me that night (even had it written down in his notes). This is also the second time I've "read his mind."
If I've been keeping up with my running. I e-mailed him a few weeks ago that I wasn't where I should be with my running.
I'm a bad FS for shredding the picture MEPS gave me when I signed my contract. He's going to be in trouble for not having his shit together, and it'll be all my fault (yes, he was joking)
I'm in trouble for not visiting the station. He asked me if I was going to come in next week (which is this week). I asked him if he said if he was asking me or telling me. "Yeah, I'm telling you. You know, I shouldn't have to tell my LTs to do this."

And I said:

Yeah, I'm that good!
I am, but it's frustrating and no fun at all. My shoes feel pretty good, and I don't get any pain other than "good pain" (ie. muscle soreness). I neglected to tell him that they're pink.
That was 6 months ago, and he just now noticed! And why would I want that craptacular picture on the wall in the station for all to see?
Sorry SGT. I'll be there. I've never had to do this checking-in with anyone before. He's in line along with my parents and USAREC. Yep, USAREC has been calling me and wondering why I haven't logged onto those FS chats.

So, I'm a bad FS, and I need to get my ass to the station this week. I have no idea what we'll talk about. He's the conversationalist. I'm the engineering student. He talks. I smile and nod. He said that phone calls are good, and e-mails are good, but they actually need to see me. Do one of you recruiters want to explain that to me? I'm guessing it's because some of their other FSes have gotten in trouble before with law, drugs, boyfriend beatings, or they just have second thoughts about shipping.

Long time no post

2006-09-15T16:50:00.000-05:00

Right now, I have about 8 half-written posts saved. Sometime in the next week, I'll finish them, but don't expect any Pulitzer Prize-winning articles. Like the title of my blog says, rambling thoughts. . .

Anyway, classes have kept me busy, which I completely expected. The third week of the semester is now complete, and I have had a crapload of readings and homework assigned. I'm not working at all anymore so the workload isn't overwhelming, but the material is hard and the assignments are very time-consuming. It feels like controlled chaos.

For now, all that is behind me. I'm headed home to San Antonio to watch my Aggies play the United States Military Academy at the Alamodome tomorrow. If anyone is interested, the game (dubbed the AT&T Corps Classic) is on ESPN2 at 8:15pm. Yell for the Ags! And if you don't, well, I'll yell loud enough for you!

Have a good weekend! Thanks, Gig 'Em, and Beat the Hell Outta Army*! Whoop!

*Note: I mean that military school in West Point, NY, not the actual Army. That's just wrong.

How does this look?

2006-09-04T15:26:00.000-05:00

I've been searching for a good online photo album thing for a long time. Yahoo is getting old. The way Blogger acts up, I don't want to rely on it for all my pictures. I've been using Bubbleshare for this blog, but individual links for each album aren't convenient for my family and friends. I've also tried Photobucket and Flickr. Lo and behold, Google has come out with a test version of Picasa Web Albums. 250 MB of storage for free (6GB if you pay), and I can upload with one click using the newest version of Picasa software that I already have and really like. And the best part. . . I use my Google e-mail and password! None of that "remember several different usernames and passwords" crap for me anymore, as long as Google sticks around (knock on wood).

2006 A&M vs. The Citadel

Sep 2, 2006 - 32 Photos

As for the game, it was okay. In the Big 12, that means not good, especially against a 1-AA team. Defense looked okay (they kept the Citadel out of the endzone), but the missed tackles were driving me crazy. Several times the qb could have been dropped for a 10+ yd loss, but the defense overran him and the qb ended up with a 5+ yd gain! Offense moved the ball pretty well, right up until they fumbled the ball away. . . 4 TIMES! As you can see by the score, they did make it to the endzone a few times. Kicking game looks much better (not saying much) with the ball going into the endzone nearly every time. In the past, special teams has been terrible. A knee down in the endzone was soooooo much better than seeing a 40 yd. return. Positives: our linebackers (including #50 Mark Dodge) had some great intensity out there, #14 Chad Schoeder had some great catches, I was under the overhang so no new tan lines, the new scoreboard and ribbon boards looked great, and, despite only having about 70k people there, Kyle Field was awesome!

As you may have guessed, I was actually watching the game, instead of taking pictures. That's why there's only a few from before the game, during halftime, and after the game. What can I say? I'm a fan of the game! I'll try better this weekend though.

Huh?!

2006-08-31T11:19:00.000-05:00

I've only had 2 lectures in my concrete design class, and I'm already lost. This is a bad sign. This semester is going to suck.

Back in School Mode

2006-08-29T17:07:00.000-05:00

The fall semester has begun, and campus is crazy once again.

As far as classes go, I'm taking 9 hours. I think I mentioned that before. For capstone design, we already split into groups to form "companies." I know my fellow "employees" by face, but none of us have worked with each other before. The first class and design lab were a little awkward as we started to get to know each other. The project we've been assigned is a real project, site development for office space in the Dallas area. Our "company" has to complete the entire design, including calculations for drainage, geotech (soils), traffic, pavement, structures, a whole bunch of other stuff, and present it in written and oral form to a panel at the end of the semester. My entire grade is based on the written report, oral presentation, and peer evaluation. As far as the solution goes, I have learned that there is an infinite number of wrong solutions and an infinite number of right solutions. All we have to do is pick one of the right ones. Pretty easy, huh? Let the fun begin!

As far as steel design goes, we have assigned seats because the prof likes to take roll and randomly call on people. It sounds really intimidating (and it is when you don't know the answer), but Steel Prof is one of the best profs in the department. I've had him before, so I know what to expect. Because of this class, my bank account is hurting. The steel design manual (which is required) cost me $120!! I should be grateful though because students get a discounted price. These manuals go for $400+ for everyone else. Looks like I will make a nice profit after the semester.

My final 3 hours are concrete design. The first class was a review of stuff learned in mechanics of materials (I took that 3 years ago), materials of construction (I took that 2 years ago), and structures (which I finally passed over the summer). Everything sounded vaguely familiar. I was hoping all that crap would stay a distant memory. Damnit!

So, in two days of class, I have 2 reading assignments, 1 homework assignment, and our company SOQ (statement of qualifications, we make up a company history and why we should be chosen for the project) due at the beginning of design lab next week. Not bad at all, but the pace will pick up big time by next week. I will get to the readings and assignment after my run tonight.

As far as the other stuff on campus:

Last weekend during move-in week, I was driving by the Southside dorms and saw all the parents and kids hugging and crying. Normal people would probably understand their apprehensions and get teary-eyed. Me. . . I laughed. I am not being cold-hearted. I know exactly how they felt. I still remember when my family dropped me off at A&M in August 2001, and I cried my eyes out just like those families. I was laughing at myself more than them. I was so scared and nervous about being on my own. Two years later, I drove to Raleigh, NC (the first of 3 times) by myself to work up there. Another 2 years later, I walked into an Army recruiting station and started applying for Army OCS. And in 6 months, I will be right back to those scared, nervous feelings (I might get teary-eyed, but I will try like hell to keep the floodgates shut) when I ship for BCT. Those parents and kids will be just fine.

I know it's the Fall semester in Aggieland when, at 12:45 pm, I had to wait 1.5 hours in line for student tickets to the A&M vs. The Citadel football game this weekend. The ticket booths have been packed since they opened at 7 am! I pulled second deck on the 30-yard line. The weekend can't get here soon enough! Northgate, Midnight Yell Practice, Corps March-in, Texas bbq, the Spirit of '02 firing after every score, yells, the Aggie Band, The Spirit of Aggieland, the Aggie War Hymn, 12th Man, old friends and new faces all coming together at Kyle Field. Aggie Football. . . how I love thee!

BTHO The Citadel! WHOOP!

Good News

2006-08-18T12:23:00.000-05:00

Well, my dad was in court this morning due to that asshole neighbor I briefly mentioned a few months ago. We sat in the courtroom from 8:30 to 10 just to hear, "Case dismissed." I never met the neighbor, but my mom later told me he was the dumbass that was sitting behind me. He was kicking me in the back for the entire 1.5 hours we were there! WTF?! He was pissed, but I don't care. We get to keep our dogs!

More good news: I finally beat my demon, as SGT Ex put it. Grades were officially released on Tuesday night, and I got a B in my problem class! My personal goal was to get an A on the final. Out of 60-something students, there were only 3 A's on the final, and I was not one of them. :(
I got an 86. So close, yet so far! I'm just relieved to finally put this class behind me. 9 more hours, and that BSCE is mine!

Checklist

2006-08-10T20:23:00.000-05:00

- Finish final exam. . . Check

- Clean out bedroom and bathroom in my now-former residence. . . Check (a damn good job, I might add!)

- Transplant my stuff from my old house to my new duplex. . . Check (after dealing with high 90s, no A/C, and a 16-year-old brother who was useless after about 2 hours)

- Driving my brother back home in time for drivers' ed. . . Check

- Enjoying great Tex-Mex and margaritas. . . CHECK AND MATE!

One of the best things about being a college student is the time after finals and right before the next semester! I will not be back in College Station for about 2 weeks. I called SGT Ex to let him know what my new address is, and guess what's going on while I'll be gone. Yep, that Future Soldiers function that I expected last weekend. Damn! I feel bad for missing it. I really don't need to be there (my grade is E-4, so I can't get promoted any higher), but it's good prep for BCT, and I get to meet some other FSes. Oh well. As long as I keep up with my PT and that OCS prep stuff that USAREC keeps e-mailing me, I should be okay. And there will be plenty of other FS functions, especially for someone like me who will be in FSTP for months!

New Runners

2006-08-06T18:42:00.000-05:00

So much for every two weeks. No future soldiers function was scheduled this weekend. Anyway, I think I'm one of the few future soldiers that hasn't shipped (and I won't for a few months). I was fairly productive anyway. Besides studying for my final, it's tax-free shopping weekend here in Texas, and I need new running shoes. I've been using my New Balance 603 trail runners for almost 2 years. They have treated my feet well, but it was time to retire them from running.

After comparing the shoes available for my foot type to what's available in my bank account, I decided on Asics Gel 2110 or 1110. I headed to the store to try them on in person. Well, the good news was the 1110s fit great! The bad news was this was the only color available:

Yes, I retired my trail runners in navy blue (my favorite color) for a pair of pink running shoes! And I am NOT a pink girl at all! I worked very hard to keep a pink-free closet until this past May. My summer camp counselor shirt was hot pink, and I was forced to wear it for one day, but I have no intention of ever putting it on again. But now, I have pink shoes! Pink shoes that I picked out and paid money for! I'll have to suck it up though because they feel great. I also got some good insoles, and I already feel a difference.

Oh yeah, the worst news. . . when I was searching for an online picture of my new shoes just now, I found 3 other color styles of this shoe (not attractive but not pink) for $20 less than what I paid! I already took my pinkies out for a run, so I can't return them.

Oh well, the things I do to get in shape for basic. So, what do you think the drill sergeants will say when I show up to reception with my pinkies on?!

Puzzle of the Week (or whenever I feel like it)

2006-08-05T12:53:00.000-05:00

Well, I'm bored from studying. They are the same picture, just a different challenge in each one. For reference, I used the first photo in the album.

Jigsaw Puzzle

Sliding Puzzle

I took these pictures almost exactly one year ago while I was co-oping in Raleigh, NC. That entire spring, it rained every single weekend. I always wanted to drive Highway 12 and visit the lighthouses. On my very last weekend in NC, I woke up to clear skies and sunshine. I packed two days worth of clothes, some little travel bottles of shampoo that I accumulated earlier, my toothbrush, a map, and I was heading to the coast within 30 minutes. A little spontaneous, but I had a blast!

El Segundo Examen

2006-08-04T11:38:00.000-05:00

Nope, my exam was not in spanish (that would be a sure D for me). It was in that one craptacular engineering class I'm taking this summer. After an hour and 45 minutes this morning, I still wasn't able to figure out the fifth, and final, problem. Including that exam, 70% of my grade is now accounted for. The last 30% comes from the final exam scheduled on Tuesday. If I bomb the final, I lose my OCS contract for good!

Honestly, I'm not too worried about it. I've been working my ass off for this class, and I know I will make it. Of course, I may completely lose my sanity in the process (assuming I have any left after 5 years). Oh well, that's my punishment for being too stubborn to quit. Don't get me wrong, I love my major. I look at the world in a completely different way now. Of course, I believe every degree program does that to its students. Other students have their eyes opened to cultures, politics, and people. I, on the other hand, am thinking about internal forces on structures, signal phase changes, traffic weaving patterns, superelevations, rutting and bleeding of asphalt (which can be fairly dangerous when it rains), the shrinking or swelling of soil that cause the sidewalks and brick walkways around campus to shift, and drainage networks that take toilet water to be turned into good drinking water. (Note: "good drinking water" does not apply to College Station drinking water. That stuff is crap!) Yep, CEs have their hand in everything, from the water coming out of your faucet to the roads you drive on to the buildings where you work, live, and hang out. That's why I picked this major. I want to make a positive impact on people's lives, whether they know I am or not. And CVEN is perfect for that. The engineers never get credit for the good things. Frankly, if you know an engineer's name at all, it's either because he (or she) is a freaking creative genious or, more likely, something bad happened or some lanes of some road have to be shut down for long-term improvement. Gosh darnit people! We are doing it for you! The least you could do is stop speeding through work zones! A construction site is dangerous enough without the 90+mph traffic (end of work zone safety rant).

As much as I complain about my classes, I'm almost glad I had to struggle a bit. In the end, I will know I beat every setback to earn my A&M degree, which has been a goal of mine since I was 10 years old. The greatest achievements in life rarely come easy. There's always some heartache involved. That $30,000 piece of paper will mean a heck of a lot to me (and my entire family) when I finally earn it. All I need are 3 hours this summer and 9 hours in the fall! I can taste it! First things first, hit the books so I can pass that damn final on Tuesday!

Do you understand?

2006-08-01T00:30:00.000-05:00

Iv'e been uinsg Ffreoix as my parmriy irneetnt bsweorr for a few yeras now. From waht I hread Intrneet Eroplexr is gteitng beettr, but I jsut lvoe all the esiotxenns albiavlae for Fefroix. Tadoy, I was loionkg for a rdaeer eesoxtinn and cmae acsors a rthaer odd eosinextn. Tihs eitnsexon will srlambce the lretets in ecah wrod but keep the fsirt and lsat ltrtees the same. If I reemembr cclretory, from some raodnm wbtsiee I cmae aoscrs a few mnhtos ago, wehvtear I tpye will slitl be albe to be usentrodod. I d'ont reembemr why that is, but I beievle i'ts ture. Now, I have asebloutly no rael use for tihs, but I slitl find it pttery cool. I'ts aslo 12:30 am, and Iv'e been sunitdyg all day for my eaxm on Fadiry. Hvae I caiepnlmod egounh auobt how mcuh I dispsee tihs casls, basuece I rlelay ralley ralely do!!! Aywnay, wihcatng pinat dry is aobut all my barin can hldnae at tihs ponit. I am elaisy eanreeinttd rghit now.

So, could you still understand me?

By the way, the extension is Confuscator!

1000 already?!

2006-07-28T13:22:00.000-05:00

After nearly 3 months, my hit counter thing finally passed 1000. And I thought no one would read this! Of course, I'm sure that most of those hits are from me previewing changes and new posts over and over again. And lately, they've also come from ArmyOCS.com posters reading about my experience with the OCS application process. I haven't received a lot of feedback on that, but the few e-mails I got were positive, so I'm glad some people out there find this information useful, or at least entertaining. Now that I'm selected and biding my time in FSTP, I can look back and laugh instead of cursing MEPS under my breath!

Hmm, I wish there was more to say, but I've been pretty boring lately. I have my second exam next Friday and the final exam the Tuesday after that. Then I move into my new place (I still have to find someone with a pickup to help me out), head home for 2.5 weeks, and drive back to Aggieland for my very, very last semester and football season (and I mean it this time!). Will I take it easy and relax at home? Oh no, no, no! I will be taking my 16 year-old brother to drivers' ed. classes AND taking him out for practice! If you do not hear from me after the month of August, assume my brother has not improved much since I last took him out, but be happy that I lived a pretty good life!

Well, I have to get my run on now, but this time I won't be lazy and skip the post-exercise stretch (two days later and I'm still paying for that mistake). I downloaded some military run cadences from emusic.com (20 free downloads during a 14-day free trial) and added them to my mp3 player. They're quite a motivator. I felt like I could run forever, and damn near did two days ago. If it wasn't for the fact that I could actually see my legs still attached to my body, I could have sworn they had fallen off! I took yesterday off to recover, and I'm still sore now, but I have to get back out there. Oh yay! It feels like 100 outside right now. Gotta love Texas summers, and it's not even mid-August yet! I just tell myself this is prep for OCS, since I'll be at Ft. Benning, GA from May to August.

To those of you reading, have a very lovely weekend!

My Experience Joining the U.S. Army

2006-07-26T14:20:00.000-05:00

I thought I would be nice and sum everything up in one post. So, here is my experience of applying and being selected for U.S. Army Officer Candidate School (OCS)!

Part 0 - Why I Want to be a U.S. Army Officer
Includes my essay that I wrote for my OCS packet and my primary motivation for wanting to serve.

Part 1 - Initial Research and Contact (October 2005)
Includes the websites I visited for information and how I got in contact with a local recruiter.

Part 2 - First Meeting with my Recruiter (October 2005)
Title is self-explanatory. Also includes a little bit of information about the battallion board, initial MEPS paperwork, and some information about the OCS process (highlighted in green)

Part 3 - Talking to the Parents and MEPS!!! (October/November 2005)
How my parents reacted after I broke the news that I met with a recruiter to start the OCS application process (as opposed to just talking about it), staying overnight at the MEPS hotel, and my first visit to MEPS, including info about the female exam.

Part 4 - The Second Visit to MEPS (December 2005)
A second trip is not always needed, but I had to go. Need to read Part 3 to know why I had to make that second trip. Also includes a description of an inspect.

Part 5 - OCS Packet (January/February 2006)
Description of the paperwork (at least what I can remember) that is needed for an OCS packet. Includes links to regulations and helpful websites.

Part 6 - Surprise, it's the Battallion Board Interview!! (March 2006)
All about the week leading up to my interview (lots of hurry up and wait). Includes (paraphrased) dialogue of my interview, my thoughts during my interview, and my advice for getting through the day.

Part 7 - Signing and Swearing in!!! (March 2006)
About my trip to MEPS to sign an OCS contract and swear into DEP (Delayed Entry Program) for the U.S. Army!

Joining the Army Part 7 - Signing and Swearing in!

2006-07-26T14:00:00.000-05:00

Late Sunday afternoon, two days after my successful board interview, SGT Ex called me.

SGT Ex: Well, hello Candidate ______.
Me: Hello SGT Ex.
SGT Ex: Well, we just finished our ATC. You and Pol will both be going to MEPS tomorrow to sign your contracts.
Me: Cool!
SGT Ex: Now, there probably won't be a lot of people at MEPS. It's probably going to be just you and the other selected OCS applicants from this weekend. You should be done no later than 10:30.
Me: 10:30? Riiiiiight! (I like him and respect him a lot, but he has a tendancy to underestimate time.)
SGT Ex: (laughs) Okay. Be at the station at 3 am.
Me: 3 AM?!!!
SGT Ex: One of the other recruiters will be driving y'all. We haven't decided who yet. But be there at 3. I'll probably be there to see you off.
Me: Okay.
SGT Ex: See you tomorrow!
Me: Bye

3 AM!!!! Last time, we left close to 4 and we still made it on time. Oh well, this is it! My contract! Yes! I'm actually happy to be going to MEPS.

I immediately e-mailed my Monday professors about this and hoped they would be understanding and excuse me (they did). Just in case, I let my 4 pm professor know that I might not make it to class because of this.

I leave for the station at 2:45 am. My bedtime is usually 3:30, so there was no point in me sleeping. I head out to the recruiting station. SGT Ex and SGT An are already there. They're in their black and gold recruiter PTs. They even have color-coordinated New Balance running shoes. I wonder if those were issued too? I'm the first person to arrive. I take a seat and talk with the recruiters. SGT Ex tells me about CPL (he's the only CPL in the station, so he doesn't need an alias) who will be driving us today. I have no idea who he is. They also inform me that the recruiting battallion needs to scan our documents before giving them to MEPS. CPL would see us through check-in at MEPS, go to Battallion Headquarters and get our packets, and drop them off at MEPS so we can meet with a counselor and sign our contracts. After business was out of the way, SGT An goes right into his engineering story-telling mode. According to him, those Ford pick-up commercials (the ones where the workers drop a load of steel from a crane right into the bed of the truck) exaggerate the truck's capabilities. He tried to reenact it, totaled the truck, and had to explain himself!

Pol shows up a few minutes later, with a book in hand. He came prepared for the wait. I didn't bring anything. Around 3:30, CPL shows up. We're waiting on CPL's recruit (I'll call him Kid, now PVT Kid as I found out at my first DEP function). Kid finally shows up, and we head out around 3:45.

We're on our way to Houston, and CPL gives us the MEPS lecture.
CPL: Before y'all go to sleep, listen to me first. What's the word of the day?
Us: NO!
CPL: Right. You all are clean. Don't let MEPS trick you. MEPS is not your friend. If you need help or something doesn't feel right, come get me right away!
Recruits: Yes sir!
CPL: Okay, now y'all can go to sleep.

Pol had the whole back seat to himself and stretched out there. I had the middle to myself, and Kid was sitting up front with CPL. I wasn't all that comfortable, but I lied down anyway. I was just starting to fall asleep when I felt CPL get off the highway. Next thing I know, he opens his door, and the dome light comes on right over my face and wakes me up! Damnit! Well, there goes that sleep I was trying to get. CPL apologized, but he needed a caffeine jump and stopped at a gas station. While he was in there, Pol, Kid, and I were talking. Kid was an EMT and he was looking at combat engineer or infantry. He was a full-shot, so Kid was taking the ASVAB, completing the physical, signing, and swearing in today.

We're back on the road and arrive at MEPS a little before 5. We walk up to the doors, and . . . nothing! The doors are locked! And we are the first to arrive at MEPS. We were there before the morning bread delivery, which smelled great, by the way! Umm, why did I have to be at the station at 3 am to leave at 3:45 and arrive before MEPS even opens?! Whatever! We wait, and wait. Soon, there's a line of recruits and other recruiters after us. Kid, Pol, and I are waiting at the top of the steps while CPL is mingling with the other recruiters. Everyone is pretty quiet and looks half-dead. After a while, a security guard comes to unlock the front door. Yours truly is first through security and up to MEPS. Yes, I actually get to sit in one of the chairs while waiting for the MEPS briefing! After the briefing, we sign in with the Army liason, get our nametags, and get back to the control desk. I get sent down to medical for another inspect (see part 4).

There are about 9 girls with me for inspection. Most of them were Navy shippers, but there was one other Army recruit there. These girls were pretty quiet, so everyone was bashful when it came time to take the gowns off, except me. By the third time at MEPS, I learned not to care. It's really not a big deal. Anyway, after a long time of waiting (for the third time), a female staff member comes in to do the height, weights, and pregnancy tests. When I was up, she had to take a second WTF?! look at me. I know I look young, but is it that hard to believe that I'm 22?! The other Army recruit also got the look. She was 25.

I got out of inspect around 9:30. I wasn't sure if CPL was back with our OCS packets yet. Even if he was, there was nothing for me to do except sit and wait for the Army liason office to call my name. I head to the applicant lounge and find a nice, comfy chair to fall asleep in it.

A few minutes later, Pol walks in. He was done with medical, so all that was left for us was signing and swearing in! After 4 months, there was an OCS contract with my name on it just waiting for my signature! It's a pretty exciting feeling but also kind of nerve-wrecking. I'm not going to lie, I was nervous while waiting to sign. I was making a huge commitment, and most of my friends couldn't understand why I would consider the Army when I had offers for entry-level engineering positions with generous starting salaries and benefits. But the Army was truly what I wanted. I wanted to be a part of something bigger than myself, and honor those veterans who came before me, to let them know that I was worth the sacrifices that they and their loved ones had to make. A lot of people stereotype my generation as selfish, always looking for the easy way out, and having no pride in themselves. Those stereotypes ring true in many people, but there are a few of us out there that still value loyalty, duty, respect, selfless service, honor, integrity, and personal courage. Army life will be hard. I'll be stressed out, busy as hell, working long hours with minimal equipment in what may seem like unbearable conditions, and I'll be away from my family. I'll have more responsibility than anyone can imagine, and I'll probably see the world at its best and at its worst. The Army will be one of the toughest challenges I'll ever endure. Yet here I am, ready and waiting to sign up for it.

Around 10:30 (yes, the time that SGT Ex said I would be done!), CPL walks in to the applicant lounge (once again, interrupting my sleep). He let us know that he just gave our packets to MEPS and was checking up on us. Both Pol and I told him we were done with medical and just waiting to sign our contracts. He asked about Kid. Pol saw him in medical, but we had no idea where he was. Well, all CPL could say was that he just gave our packets to MEPS, and they would call us shortly. Like I was going to believe that! Not because I don't trust CPL (that was the first time I met him), but because I sure as hell wasn't trusting MEPS! Sure enough, MEPS did not disappoint!

At 1:00 (yes, I waited for 2.5 hours before my name was called), my name was finally called! Yes, yes, yes! My contract awaits me! I walk into the liason office and am directed to a counselor. He's retired Army, and gets to work. First thing out of his mouth. . . "So you were quiet in your interview!" Umm, excuse me? How do you know this? Well, the evaluation forms from my board interview were now part of my packet, and everyone in the liason office was passing them around, along with the rest of the stuff in my packet, for show-and-tell. Hmm, I felt a little violated, but it was their Army. They probably wanted to know what kind of OCS applicant I was. The counselor flipped through my packet and pulled out my evaluation forms for me to look at. The comments were about what I expected, quiet and lack of confidence at first. They were followed by the standard "I believe she will make an excellent officer" statement when choosing to recommend. One of the comments surprised me though. CPT 1 wrote down that I was very smart. I have no idea where he got that in the interview because I felt like such an idiot through the entire thing. As for my scores, CPT 1 gave me 24/25, CPT 3 gave me 23/25, and CPT 2. . . well, he gave me 19/25. Holy crap! Why did he recommend me at all if he gave me a score that low?!

When I finished reading the forms, I put them back in my packet and looked through the rest of it. I had never actually seen my packet all together before. Yup, it was almost 2 inches thick, just like the packet the previous SC showed me during my very first visit with my recruiter (see part 2). I felt pretty good. Now, the counselor walked me through the paperwork. First I had to sign two forms. One of them was about military rules that I would be held to while in DEP. The other was a form clarifying my relationship with recruiters (ie. no babysitting, taking money from them, dating any recruiter, etc.). Next came my contract. Everything was electronic. I read each section off his computer screen, asked him any questions I had, and initialed/signed in the recruit signature box that I had read and understood that section. To sign the contract, MEPS had one of those electronic signature things (kind of like the ones at stores when you use your credit card). I pressed down in the black box, and it came up in the screen. My signature sucked! A few times it was so bad that I asked him to clear the box so I could redo it. Then the counselor initialed/signed his name in the counselor box. He does this a lot, so his signature was actually legible. Once both of our signatures were entered, the counselor continued to the next section. I remember understanding everything in the contract, but I don't remember much of what he went over right now, except for the GI Bill. I made sure to get that included! After all that came my actual contract. I was expecting an official document with the Army seal and everything, but it was actually a reservation. The reservation had my name and SSN, my MOS (09S - Officer Candidate School), my ship dates for BCT (when I would finally leave from MEPS), my class date for OCS (guaranteed because it's in writing), and locations for training (Ft. Jackson, SC for BCT and Ft. Benning, GA for OCS). The reservation also listed my options, which are additional training or bonuses. I had Option 11 for OCS and Option 12 for the $8000 bonus for OCS (no longer valid). Make sure everything you want and/or were promised is on this reservation! That includes your MOS, enlistment bonuses, Student Loan Repayment, Airborne school, Ranger school, or any other bonuses or training you were interested in. If it's not in writing, the Army does NOT owe it to you! Before signing that, the counselor asked me if I had any other information to tell him (things I didn't disclose like medical conditions, law violations, etc.) because I could be charged with fraudulent enlistment if I'm caught lying. Nope! I signed, and that was it! MY signature was on MY OCS contract! The counselor led me out into the main office area to take my picture. Yes, another terrible MEPS picture.

After signing, I was sent down the hall to security. There, my fingerprints were scanned (no ink-stained hands!). The scanner had a little trouble taking mine though. Most of them had to be scanned twice, but my right pinky finger had to be scanned 8 times before it was accepted. I'd blame it on technology, but I'm sure it had to do with my little fingers. After finger-printing was the meeting with one of the security officers. She seemed nice, but I kept my guard up! Of course, I knew if she wanted to get info out of me she would. SGT An told me that she was an interrogator while in the Army! If she wanted info out of me, she was going to get it! But I'm clean. No worries. She looked at the one dismissed ticket on my record and gave me the ok. She asked me for the names, birthdates, and addresses of my immediate family. Next she asked me to name my beneficiary. I named my sister. Age might be a requirement, but I'm not sure. My sister is over 18, so I didn't have to worry about it. The security officer input all my information, printed out more forms, had me sign and date them. Pol was in and out of security right after me. Then we, along with another girl who signed with the reserves, were shown to a classroom to swear in at the 2 pm ceremony! It's finally becoming a reality! I'm about to make it official and swear into the Army! I started to get nervous again.

We walked into the room, and it was very unimpressive. It was only tables and chairs with a raised floor and podium and the front of the room. The tables were so close together, I could barely pull the chair out far enough to squeeze in. We waited around for a minute before a Navy petty officer came into the room. He walked us through the forms to make sure we had everything. He also explained to us that we were about to take an oath to swear in to the US military. This was our absolute last chance to declare anything (again, lying or "forgetting" to mention criminal charges or medical conditions) with no penalty. If we are caught after we swear in, we could be charged with fraudulent enlistment and lose our contracts. Again, I was truthful throughout the process. He continued the briefing on the swearing in ceremony. Then he led us into the ceremony room.

In this room, there was a nice stage and podium at the front. Behind the podium was the US Flag and the flags of each military branch. The room had decent lighting. Family and friends are invited to watch and take pictures of the swearing-in ceremony, but none of us had visitors with us. The petty officer quickly taught us the positions of attention and parade rest (which I got wrong on the first try). He called us to parade rest and left to find the officer that would give us the oath. When the officer entered the room, we were called to attention. The officer (an Army LT) welcomed us, and congratulated us on our decision to join the military. She then asked us to raise our right hands and repeat after her. . .

I, Rebecca ______, do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God.

That was it. The officer brought us back into the other room, gave Pol some crap for wearing an Aggie t-shirt (it turns out she graduated from West Point), signed our forms, and told us to head back to our liasons' office. On the way back, I told Pol we should probably get used to stuff like that. According to SGT An, West Pointers and Aggies have a bit of a rivalry between each other. When we got back to the office, there were black Army DEP bags and DEP ID cards waiting for each of us. My counselor congratulated me, handed me my complete OCS packet (contract included), and wished both me and Pol the best of luck in OCS. Now all we had to do was wait for Kid to finish.

When we were finished, Kid was still talking with his assigned counselor in the liason office. CPL was sitting next to him and listening in. Pol and I went to wait in the applicant lounge. By this time, all the shippers and most of the other recruits already left. It was just me, Pol and Kid at MEPS. This was evidenced by a Marine coming in to turn off the around 3:30. She felt bad, but apparently she had to do it. A little after 4, CPL shows up. Kid just swore in, and we are all set to go. We walk out with another recruiter, find the van, and finally head home. All I can think is. . . 10:30 my ass!!! It's 4 pm and we still have a 90 minute drive back.

Well, when we got back, a lot of the recruiters were shaking my hand and congratulating me. SGT Ex took one look at my packet and said, "what the hell did they do?! I had it all nice and organized, and they tore it up!" Personally, as long as everything was there, I was okay. SGT Ex asked me what I wanted to do with my packet. I asked him to hold onto it for me. I was going to need everything again when I shipped, and I didn't wait to risk losing any part of my packet. He said it would be under lock and key in the station. Excellent! Then SGT Ex gave me my future soldiers orientation briefing, which consisted of. . .

SGT Ex: You listening to all that stuff SGT An is telling Pol?
Me: Yes.
SGT Ex: Good! Do all that.
Me: (laughing) Okay SGT Ex.

After I left, I called my dad and my friends with the good news. I kind of waited a few days to tell my mom. When I first signed, she still refused to support my decision to join the Army. Of course, things change, and she's quite supportive of me and always lets me know how proud she is of me.

Well, it took 4 months, a couple of setbacks, and then a whirlwind of events to come to this point, and I couldn't be happier. Now, if only I can remain patient while hanging around in DEP. HOOAH!!

Back to My Experience

1st DEP Function

2006-07-22T12:31:00.000-05:00

Back to present day for a minute. . .

Last night, I got a surprise call from SGT Ex. I haven't checked in with him in almost a month (oops!). Well, the station was having a DEP function the next day, and I needed to be there at 9. Umm, thanks for the notice. Now, I had a pretty entertaining night, so it was hard getting up and showering at 8 this morning, but I'm glad I went.

SGT An and the SC were standing outside the station when I got there, and they asked about my class and how I was doing (surprising well). SGT An just told me, "if you ever need help on anything. . . find somebody else! I don't do that crap." Sure thing SGT An! I almost didn't recognize the SC because he wasn't in uniform and had a hat on. When I walked in the room, SGT Ex saw me. "Hey girl! You look tired." Gee SGT Ex, thank you so much for telling me I look like crap!

I got to meet a few other DEPpers, including another OCS applicant who is shipping out on Monday. There was another girl there, and she was shipping next week. I can't remember what her MOS was. Besides them, there were 5 other DEPpers, 2 going mechanic, 1 going petroleum-something, 1 going armor, and I can't remember the last one. There was a brand-new private (fresh out of AIT) there as well. As soon as he saw me, he recognized me. "Hey, I know you! We went to MEPS together!" Yep, it was Kid, now PVT Kid (who I write about in yet-to-be-finished part 7). It took me a while to recognize him with his new haircut. I couldn't believe it! We signed our contracts on the same day, and he's already a soldier.

Well, the lessons were underway. SC talked about futuresoldiers.com, military time, general orders, rank structure, pretty much everything off of the pre-basic training task list (on futuresoldiers.com). One of the new recruiters used to be a drill sergeant, so he and PVT Kid took us outside and taught us positions of attention, at-ease, parade rest, rest, face movements, and marching. The recruiter had his DS hat and everything. After a while, he started to enjoy it, if you know what I mean. It was about 95 outside, and we were practicing in the sun, right next to a dumpster (lovely smell!). So much for that shower this morning. I need to work on marching and about-face. I was spinning on my toes like a little ballerina! My memories of high school marching band were really screwing with me!

Once we were back inside, SGT Ex taught us the basics of land navigation. I think I got the hang of the basics. I had to learn how to read topographic maps in my water resources classes, but that was a while ago. Next, the SC gave us a brief overview of self aid and buddy aid. Basically, self aid is for yourself and buddy aid is for your buddy. I think I can handle that. Also, ABC: Airway, Breathing, Circulation. We finished off with the recruiters telling stories of their time in basic and as new Army privates (basically their screwups).

It was an okay day. I learned some stuff, reviewed stuff I already knew, met some of the other DEPpers, and heard some info on basic. The SC said we would be doing these DEP function every two weeks from now on but some would be social, like a barbeque or something. Hmm, I've been in DEP since March, and this is the first function I've been to.

So, that was my morning. Now back to regularly-sheduled house painting (the outside!), and studying.

And while typing this, my dad called me. His last day in the Army is this Wednesday. 24 years of his life went to the Army, and it's finally coming to an end!

Joining the Army Part 6 - Surprise, it's the Battallion Board Interview!!

2006-07-20T13:31:00.000-05:00

**Edit: I added some stuff to my tote I packed the night before the board. I also added "My Advice for the Battallion Board Interview" at the end.

NOTE: I wrote about my entire week leading up the the board, but if you're only interested in my interview, scroll down to "My Battallion Board Interview."

Monday
I had just come out of an interview at the career center when SGT Ex called me.

SGT Ex: Hey Rebecca. It's SGT Ex. I got the rest of your packet (I dropped it off late last week, see part 5), and it all looks good.
Me: Great!
SGT Ex: There's a board this Wednesday. Can you make it?
Me: This Wednesday?! As in two days from now? Oh, umm, any week but this week.
SGT Ex: Any week but this week?
Me: Seriously, I'd have to find a sub at work. I have two major tests this week, a meeting on Wednesday that I have to attend, and regular homework. I'm busy until Friday. Any time after Thursday.
SGT Ex: Okay girl. We'll try to work something out.

He sounded really disappointed, and I felt like such a pussy wimping out a sure board date. Wednesdays were always my busiest day, and this week, I was looking at a 8 am to 3:30 am day, and I'm not exaggerating. Still, I felt like I wasted an opportunity and let SGT Ex down.

Tuesday
I had another interview, class, work, and the first of two exams this week. It did not go well. All those hours and hours of studying, and I felt like I didn't know a thing. Stupid, stupid, stupid! I also felt like an idiot for backing out of that board date. I felt a little flustered, so I called SGT Ex to sort everything out. As usual, "Don't worry. You didn't disappoint me. Everything's good. We'll get you to the board. Are you scaring yourself with second thoughts again?! Quit thinking so much! Relax, you'll do great." I swear, I don't know how he does it. I can be completely stressed out, and all SGT Ex has to do is tell me to stop being an idiot, and I'm completely relaxed. Since I was doing interviews for the past week in the only pant-suit I own (the same one I took my picture in), I needed to take it to the cleaners. I asked SGT Ex for recommendations, and he gave me the name of a place down the street from the mall. I managed to drop my suit and all my dress clothes off that afternoon.

Wednesday
This was the long-ass day of the week. Even after talking with SGT Ex yesterday, all I could think about was letting SGT Ex down and missing that board date. Could I have been any more of a wuss?!

This semester, I was only working one job on campus. It's nothing special, a fairly simple student worker position, but it is customer service-oriented. This requires minimal work ethic but A LOT of patience to deal with people and their personalities (gimme this, do my homework for me, I hate America and refuse to speak english but I demand help now!, etc). Well, for two hours this day, I was working this desk alone. How come everyone decides they need help at the exact same time and when only one person is available? I was running around trying to move the line as fast as possible. The department supervisor (my bosses' boss) was there, and she jumped in to help me. All of a sudden, my phone (which was on a high ring volume) started ringing. Oh crap! Cell phones are not allowed at the front, my bosses' boss is up here next to me, and there's a line of people needing help. I reached down to turn the ringer off. It was SGT Ex! The supervisor asked if it was important. I told her it was my Army recruiter, and she told me to take the call if I needed. He had already hung up, so I figured that if it was important, he would leave a voicemail and I would return his call later. I went back to the desk when the phone rang again. It was SGT Ex again. "It's my recruiter again. This must be important." My supervisor told me to step into the hall and take the call.

SGT Ex: It's SGT Ex
Me: Is this important? I'm at work right now, and it's really busy.
SGT Ex: Did you get your suit back from the cleaners?
Me: Huh? Not yet. They're going to be ready Thursday afternoon.
SGT Ex: Good, because you're going to the board on Friday.
Me: (stunned silence)
SGT Ex: You still there?
Me: Umm, yeah.
SGT Ex: Yup, the battallion commander will be going on TDY (temporary duty) for a few months so every OCS and WOCS applicant will either go in front of the board this weekend or wait months until the battallion commander gets back.
Me: Okay
SGT Ex: And I just found out that there's a few more things we still need for the packet. Like your security interview and other stuff. How soon can you get to the station?
Me: How long will it take? My only free time is between 6 and 6:30 today, but I have a mandatory meeting at 6:45. I have a test at 8 am tomorrow, and I need to review for it.
SGT: Hmm, come by at 6 and we'll get as much done as possible. Can you get back tomorrow after your test?
Me: Yeah
SGT Ex: Good, come down here when you have a chance, and we'll get all this taken care of and get your packet to Houston. You getting nervous?
Me: (nervous laughter)
SGT Ex: Don't be. You'll be fine. (he laughs at me) Alright, see you later.
Me: Bye SGT.

Thought #1: Holy crap!!! I'm going to the board in two days!!
Thought #2: What is it with the Army and two day notices?
Thought #3: God, please don't let the dry cleaners screw up my suit! It's all I have!

So, I am going to have the most important interview of my life (I'm very dramatic about all this) in two days. Yeah, I was pretty nervous. It all came down to Friday. I went back to work, and the dept. supervisor asked what was up. "Umm, I'm having my interview for Army OCS on Friday." "Wow, good luck. Are you nervous?" "Absolutely terrified." I was. I got a little break, so I e-mailed my Friday professors to tell them I wouldn't be in class on Friday, and I hoped they would excuse me. I also e-mailed my boss to help me find a sub for my 5 hour shift on Friday night. I finished out my shift, and headed to my last class, a boring lecture that lasts from 4 to 6 pm. Luckily, my prof was tired and we were tired, so he dismissed us at 5:15. WHOOP! I call SGT Ex and tell him I got out of class early, and I'm on my way over there. SGT says, "Perfect timing. We can get your security screening done over the phone today. Another OCS applicant is here, so you two can be nervous together." Ha ha.

I drive over to the station, and walk in. The station is completely busy. Everyone is doing something. The recruiting battallion is having its ATC (annual training conference) this weekend, so everyone was getting ready. Dress blues were hanging all over the place. The other OCS applicant (his codename shall be Pol) was sitting at SGT Ex's desk. SGT Ex pulled up a chair for me and let me in on what was going on. First, we need PT scores in our packets. I remember asking about this months ago, but I was assured that this wasn't needed until after I was selected. Oops! SGT Ex gave me the choice of doing a PFT right then or "estimating" my performance. I went with "estimating" and told him what I had been scoring lately (202, very unimpressive). Second, due to something that happened with a previous candidate (not at this station so I don't know the whole story), background and security checks are now required as part of the packet and need to be done before the interview takes place. Army officers are required to have a secret clearance. If the applicant can't obtain it, then there's no reason to waste time putting a packet together. The person who handles security checks at MEPS was supposed to call SGT Ex's line and interview each candidate over the phone. These are usually done in person but neither of us could get to MEPS in person before Friday. SGT Ex and SGT An (Pol's recruiter) talked to MEPS earlier, and arranged everything.

SGT Ex: Now, they're going to try to pressure you into telling them everything. And you don't have any law violations, right? (At this point, he throws a piece of paper in my face. I look at it but have no idea what it means. Then I see the address. . .)
Me: Oh! This is from the summer after my freshman year. I got pulled over and ended up with a ticket for driving without my license. It's a funny story. I worked for the dean of engineering at the time, and I was driving his car. (I wasn't fingerprinted or anything, but to the Army, it was a failure to ID. I got the ticket dismissed by showing proof of a valid license.)
SGT Ex: You know, I went up to that lady who does the security screenings at MEPS, handed her your file, and I told her, 'I'll save you some time. You don't even need to check her. She's perfect.' The lady entered your name, and then stares at me like this (he proceeds to do an impression of an older woman giving him an I-told-you-so attitude). What?! Her (points at my name on the file)?! Are you sure? But don't worry about it. It was dismissed. You have no law violations. Remember that in the security interview.
Me: Okay.

We're waiting around for SGT Ex's phone to ring. Meanwhile, I also have to fill out my preferences for first duty station (DA Form 4255-R, see part 5). Since SGT An spent most of his career in the engineering branch, and EN was my top branch choice, he helped me fill it out. I checked Airborne under additional training, and SGT Ex gave the form a once-over for completion. I'm good to go! All that's needed is the security interview.

Everyone at the station knows that Pol and I were OCS applicants and headed for the board on Friday, so they were talking to us, and trying to help us out (even though we didn't really need it). Then the station commander walks by. He's not the same one I met during my first meeting with SGT Ex (see part 2). SGT told me he took over a few months ago. The previous SC went on TDY to advise recruiting stations that were struggling. SGT Ex stopped him and asked him if he had anything to say to Pol and me.

SC: You ready?
Me and Pol: Yes
SC: You nervous?
Me: Yes (Damn, I'm an idiot!)
SC: Why? (has a WTF look on his face)
Me: (stutter for a little bit) Because I hate talking about myself.
SC: That's understandable. Be ready for the board. It should be a piece of cake. 15 minutes and you're out. Any longer than that, and something's wrong with you. Now, they're gonna ask situational questions. (looks at me) What's an ethical dilemma that you've dealt with?
Me: (blank stare, I could not think of one single thing to tell him)
Pol: So basically, they're going to ask us common sense stuff?
SC: Yeah. Now, the interviews will start at 10, and they're going to be done at the hotel where the ATC is. You'll leave the station at 7:45. That'll give you a good cushion of time. Now, if you need anything or have any questions or problems between now and then, call us. No matter what time it is or how small a detail you think it is, call us!
Me and Pol: Yes sir.

So, the SC just threw me a possible board question and I choked! My confidence was shaken. Maybe I'm not prepared for this. I need to bone up on that sample interview (USAREC 601-91, see part 5). I turn back to SGT Ex, and he finally gives up waiting and calls MEPS. He's talking to someone and gets a frustrated look on his face. After hanging up, he tells me, "Well, the security person at MEPS forgot about us because she left for the day." Crap! This has to be part of my packet, and MEPS left us hanging. Oh well. SGT Ex, SGT An, and the SC told us not to worry about it. Pol had to leave, but I stayed a little while longer to talk with SGT Ex.

SGT EX: You know, you're going to be doing this interview in front of the entire battallion. It's the ATC, so they want everyone to observe a board interview. You're gonna be on a stage in a big room with the entire battallion watching you!
Me: (silent, but I have my "what a bunch of BS" expression on)
SGT Ex: You're not buying any of this are you?
Me: (silent, shaking my head "no")
SGT Ex: You think I'm full of shit, don't you?
Me: (silent, nodding my head "yes")
SGT Ex: Yeah, I am. I'd never let them do that to you. I know how nervous you are already. But don't worry. I'll be in the room with you the entire time.
Me: Thanks.

I check my watch. It's almost 6:30, and my meeting starts at 6:45. I tell SGT Ex I need to leave and he walks me out. SGT An was outside on a smoke break with a couple of the other recruiters. He smokes like a chimney! If he's outside, he has a cigarette between his lips. Anyway, he talks to me as I'm walking out. He tells me about his applicant that went in front of the board last month. Basically:

the female officer is a bitch, and she will give me "special attention" (all female officers are bitches, and they're toughest on other females)
the battallion commander is prior enlisted, former special forces and will want to know why I think I'm better than him to come straight into the Army as an officer (oh boy!)
now that the battallion is the approval authority, the board is much harder and will have a lot of trick questions based on what's in my packet

SGT An went over when we're leaving the station, and everything I need to bring. Last thing he said was, "But it really is a lot of pride to put officers into the Army. I've put 58 people in the Army, and 2 were officers. It's really is an honor to see them again and salute them for the first time." Aww! Okay, it was almost 6:45 now. I was late for my meeting! I got out of there, went to my meeting, and studied for my 8 am test.

Thursday
I had my exam. Again, I felt like I knew nothing. The only thing on my mind that day was my interview the next day. I was so nervous just thinking about it. I picked up my suit at the cleaners. Hmm. . . no stains, nothing is missing, and it still fits me. I am good to go!

I went home and checked my e-mail. My Friday professors excused me from class, but no one has volunteered to take my 5-hour shift on Friday. Damnit, I'm going to have to work my 5 hour shift once I get back from the board! I reviewed the sample board interview, and packed a tote bag with every possible thing I might have needed for the next day. That included extra pantyhose, extra ouchless hairbands, bobby pins, deodorant, lotion (dry skin looks nasty), travel packets of kleenex, eye drops (gets rid of the redness, also in case I cry), lipbalm, makeup bag, black pens (in case any last-minute corrections are needed to my packet), gel insoles for my heels (assumed I would be doing a lot of standing around and waiting), small sewing kit (thread matched my dress shirt and suit), small scissors, a packet of those Shout-wipes, and a lint brush. I also cleaned my shoes and wrapped them in tissue paper inside a box to avoid scuffs. I checked my suit and shirt one more time before wrapping them back up in plastic. I looked over everything again and told myself I was ready. I set 3 alarms for 6:30 am and went to sleep around midnight (very early for me).

Friday
The day has finally come! My battallion board interview is today!

Despite setting 3 alarms set for 6:30, I still slept in until 7. I took a shower, put my hair into a bun (it's much easier to do while still wet), went through my makeup routine, ate a small breakfast, checked my stuff one more time, and drove to the station. SGT Ex, SGT An, and Pol were already there. As soon as I walked in, they checked to make sure Pol and I had everything we needed, and we were off! SGT An was going to drive both of us to the hotel. SGT Ex was going to drop off his kids at his parents' house, and drive himself and his wife to the hotel.

I already mentioned my experience driving with SGT Ex (see part 4), so I was a little worried about SGT An. We get to his govt. vehicle (a minivan). I asked Pol if he wanted to sit in the front, but he declined. Oh well, the 5' 1" chick gets all the leg room! We get out on the road, and SGT An is talking to Pol for the most part. SGT An then preps us for the interview: how to walk in, how to stand, how to sit, what to do with your hands, how to address the officers, what not to do or say, what to say during our biographies (now tell us about yourself). We're about halfway to Houston, when SGT An turns to me. "Now you're in the front passenger seat. You know what that means, right?" "I'm the navigator?" "Yep." He hands me the directions to the hotel, and it hits me. . . Holy crap! That's where my dad gets it from! The entire drive up and back, SGT An kept reminding me so much of my dad. It was unreal! Not only that line, but his driving too. SGT An has got to be the safest driver I've ever ridden with. He was 4 mph above the speed limit the entire way, no tailgating, and kept both hands on the wheel. My dad is the same way.

Well, we're in Houston about to get on I-10 to the hotel, which is near Katy. Then SGT An's phone rings. It's his company commander, CPT 1. CPT 1 tells SGT An that he will be on our board. They BS for a little while and then get down to business. Our security screenings were not in our packets. Of course, we already knew that. SGT An explains how MEPS bailed on us on Wednesday. CPT 1 tells him that that screening must be in our packet, or we won't go in front of the board. Damnit! Time for a 30 minute detour to MEPS, which is in downtown Houston. On the way there, SGT An talks about CPT 1. "He's great officer! He's on our side. All you need to do is convince one other officer. Y'all got it in the bag. Just don't do something stupid like piss on yourself in there!" Uhh, okay. Seriously, SGT An thinks very highly of CPT 1 and tells us how he's one of those officers who treats the recruiters well.

When we're a few blocks from MEPS, SGT An briefs us on the security interview. "What's the word of the day?" Huh? I have no idea what that means. Pol speaks up, "No." SGT An turns back to me, and then it clicks. "Ohhhh! I get it." We get to MEPS, get up the stairs, and go right to the Army liason office. They all have to be at the ATC as well, so it's pretty sparse in the office. The staff already knows who we are and why we're there. One of the soldiers hands each of us a form. "Do you have any law violations?" "No (the word of the day)." "Okay, sign here. Good luck to you." We were detoured an hour for this?! That soldier turns to SGT An and told him, "You know, you could have done this over the phone and faxed the signatures." We know! We tried! MEPS f*cked up! SGT An organizes that paper with the rest of our security stuff, and we head out.

When we get to the hotel it's around 10:20. The interviews were supposed to start at 10! SGT An finds us a bathroom and tells us to change as quickly as possible. We could be called any second now. Crap! I calm down, change into my suit, and check myself in the mirror. When I get out, SGT Ex is waiting for me. He said that the SC was all over his back wondering where the hell we were. All I had to say was "MEPS" and he understood. I look around. There are Army recruiters all over the place! We go stand outside the interview room to wait. SGT Ex briefs me on everything. SGT An comes back (Starbucks coffee in hand) and tells us that MEPS was bring over our packets along with their stuff for ATC, and it would be here shortly. Umm, we were just there. Why didn't they give us our packets then? Oh well, we had no choice but to wait, and wait, and wait. 1 hour later, MEPS shows up, but they have to sort through a van full of stuff to find our packets. After 30 minutes, they find our packets, but the board wants time to look over them. That's completely understandable, but, by now, both Pol and I were starting to fall asleep. SGT Ex already saw the officers who made up the board. The battallion commander wasn't going to be there, so another captain (CPT 2, who had never done a board before) was brought in at the last minute. Also, the female captain that SGT An so colorfully described on Wednesday wasn't on the board either. Okay, I guess that's good news. Now, can we please get this over with already?!

Pol and I are waiting around when SGT An rushes over to us. The board was ready, and Pol will be first. SGT An saw the room and briefs us exactly on what will happen and what we need to do. The recruiters will go in first, talk about us and why they brought us to the board, then bring us in. When we report, we "attach" ourselves to the left side of our recruiter (about 6 inches between us), and walk in step with him. The recruiter will stop just to the right of the chair while we walk to the left of it and around. We'll end up right in front of the chair about 6 inches to the left of our recruiter again, and stand at attention. The recruiter salutes the board president (usually the officer sitting in the center), and presents us to the board, and the interview begins. After the board is done questioning us, we leave the room while the recruiter and board talk about us. Then we would be brought back in and notified of the board's decision. We practice the entrance a few times, and then SGT An enters to begin Pol's board interview. A few minutes later, SGT An comes out. Pol is all ready to go in, but SGT An tells him not yet. He calls over SGT Ex, and shows him some papers and asks him, "what do you know about this?" All I can think is, if they're asking for SGT Ex, then something is wrong with my packet! SGT Ex takes a closer look at it, and points at the name. SGT An sees that and goes back to the board. It seems MEPS accidently added someone else's background check to my packet. A background check with a nice assault charge on it! After everything MEPS has put me through, they could have ruined my board interview!!! A minute later, SGT An comes back out, tells Pol not yet, and asks SGT Ex to come in. WHAT?! What the hell is going on?! What's wrong with my packet?! This is not how the board is supposed to go!! I should know, they briefed us a good 4 times on procedures. I looked calm on the outside, but I was very, very close to panic mode on the inside. What else could go wrong?! Scratch that, I didn't want to know.

What seems like hours later, SGT Ex comes out, and Pol goes in. SGT Ex assures me that everything is going to be okay. CPT 2 had a question about my credit hours at A&M because my transcript only shows 94 hours. He wanted to make sure I would graduate in a year. CPT 2 overlooked the transfer hours I had (around 50). I was fine. Gee, thanks for the near panic attack!! SGT Ex added that CPT 2 (the one who had never been on a board before) was the bad guy, and he didn't like me. I was going to have to look out for him. Oh crap!

Eventually, Pol walks out. He tells me, "Don't worry. It's really easy. You'll make it." I relax a little. Maybe CPT 2 isn't that bad. SGT An comes out and brings Pol back in for the board's decision. Less than a minute later, Pol walks out with a huge smile on his face. He was selected! SGT An and SGT Ex congratulate him. SGT Ex is then called in to begin my board interview. SGT An leaves to make a phone call, and Pol stays and waits with me. He didn't say much about the questions the board asked him. I wish I had asked him for more details! Then, SGT Ex calls me in. My battallion board interview begins!

My Battallion Board Interview
Okay, I'm paraphrasing what the board said, what I said, and the thoughts that were racing through my mind while in the room. Those thoughts will be narrated by ESPN Ocho (yes, I watched Dodgeball The Movie last night).

(As soon as I walked in there, I got the "deer in the headlights" look. I couldn't help it, but I executed the entrance like we practiced. My palms are so sweaty, but SGT An told me to keep my hands closed in fists, so I don't leave sweaty palmprints on my pants.)

CPT 1: Have a seat Ms. ______. How are you doing today?
Me: (barely audible) Very well thank you. How are you?
ESPN Ocho: Oh crap! I haven't had a drink of anything since about 7:30 this morning. My throat is so dry! What a terrible first impression. Okay, calm down and concentrate.
CPT 1: Well, I am CPT 1, I am the president of your board today, and we are here to decide your selection for Army Officer Candidate School. I received my commission through OCS, so I have been in your position before, and I know exactly how you're feeling right now.
CPT 3: I'm CPT 3. I graduated from West Point. I'm an Air Force brat, so I know just how you felt about moving around and having your dad gone all the time.
ESPN Ocho: Wow, CPT 3 had that emotionless stare down. If his mouth wasn't moving, he'd look like a statue. West Point?! I thought only OCS grads would be on the board.
CPT 2: I'm CPT 2. I am an ROTC grad. (He says other stuff, but I don't remember.)
ESPN Ocho: So, you're the bad guy. Man, the lighting in here is bad. Both CPT 2 and CPT 3 are wearing glasses, and I can't see their eyes through the glare. I guess I'll just aim for the center of the glasses and go from there.
CPT 1: So, tell us a little bt about yourself.
Me: Well, I am an Army brat. I was born in Germany and moved around for a while. Eventually we settled down in San Antonio. I'm a senior at Texas A&M University in College Station. I'm majoring in civil engineering, graduating in August (it turns out I lied because I'm now graduating in December), and. . . Umm, I am here because I want to be an Army officer.
ESPN Ocho: Umm. . . Crap! I ran out of stuff to say. Speak louder! Quit acting like a pussy!
CPT 3: What do you think of the world?
Me: Well, there's a lot of good in the world. From things like Red, White and Blue Out (see here, 9-22-01) at Kyle Field. Just a few weeks after 9-11, and seeing people coming together and filling over 82,000 seats at Kyle Field with red, white and blue (waving my hands around trying to describe it). Umm, there's a lot of good in people. I volunteer a lot and get to play with the kids, and help a lot of people. But there's a lot of bad in the world too. Not just in Iraq and Afghanistan, but elsewhere too. And. . . there are people out there that want to hurt me and my family and my way of life, and it's dangerous, but I like to concentrate on the good in people, and I, uhh, think that that is worth fighting for.
ESPN Ocho: Oh crap! Could I have rambled on any more than that?! And stop using your hands! Clasp your hands and keep them in your lap!
CPT 3: Why the Army?
Me: Well, it's always been the Army for me. Growing up the way I did had a lot to do with it. It's just a gut feeling I have. I researched each branch for months before I decided on the Army. When I walked into the recruiting station, SGT Ex made me feel comfortable, and I just knew. . . that the Army was it for me. ( I rambled on after this, but I don't remember what I said)
ESPN Ocho: Wow, that was worse than my last answer! At least I got by without telling them that my grades are too low for Navy or AF (even though I really wasn't interested in either branch).
CPT 3: Why do you want to be an officer?
Me: Well. . . (pause). . . Well, my dad is an officer, and I got to see how he impacted people's lives, and I want to do that. I want to help people and have an impact on their lives and help them grow as soldiers and as people (at this point, I realize that enlisted have more of an impact on stuff like that). I'm going to earn my degree, so I'll qualify for OCS, and I want a shot as it.
CPT 2: You know, it sounds like you think that you deserve to be an officer because of your degree. It takes a lot more than that to be an officer. And there are a lot of enlisted out there who have bachelors degrees and even higher level degrees. That's, uhh, that's not something I like to here.
Me: (pissed but remain silent and maintain eye contact)
ESPN Ocho: Motherf**** piece of s***! I know there are enlisted with degrees! Half the station has them. Most of my dad's soldiers have taken some college classes!! I'm not going to take your bait!! I will not lose my cool!! Kiss my ass!!!
CPT 3: What's your greatest strength?
Me: I don't give up. A&M's civil engineering program is known as a top program, and it's very, very hard. A lot of people I started out with quit along the way, but I'm sticking with it. I want this degree, and I'm going to stick with it until I earn it!
ESPN Ocho: Damnit! CPT 2 just accused me of being elitist, and then I go and talk about degree rankings.
CPT 3: What's your greatest weakness?
Me: (long pause, my mind just went blank and I said the first thing that entered it). . . Public speaking. . .
ESPN Ocho: What the F***?!?!!! What the hell just came out of my mouth?!!! Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap!! Just go with it. I already said it. Don't go back on it. Just work with it! I'm a f*cking idiot!
Me: Well, when I first started at A&M, I was very quiet and shy. Just having people look at me would freak me out. But eventually, I conquered my fear of public speaking. Last week, I have several presentations in front of 200+ high schoolers, their parents, and school counselors trying to get them to come to A&M. But. . . I still think there's room for improvement.
ESPN Ocho: You freaking idiot! You practiced this answer! Remember, physical appearance. I'm small and look like I'm 12. That was a great answer because there's nothing I can do about what God gave me. Please let this misery end!
CPT 2: I have to say that that is really disappointing to hear. Officers speak in front people several times a day. It's a necessary skill, and something that officers needs to possess. That is extremely disappointing to hear. It's not looking good for you.
Me: (silence, continue staring at him, my face is starting to get really red and my palms are so sweaty)
ESPN Ocho: Oh crap! I just blew it! Near 100% selection rates, and I'm going to fail. This is one hell of a clusterf*ck! Just keep staring at him. He didn't ask a question. Don't say anything!
CPT 2: So, A&M has a good ROTC program. Why didn't you do ROTC in college?
Me: Well, I didn't know anything about it. I was the first person in my family to go to A&M. I learned about the Corps of Cadets after I got to A&M, but I kept my focus entirely on academics. I really wasn't happy doing that, so I relaxed and started getting involved with service organizations. I thought about joining the band because I was in band all through high school. After getting to know some of the Corps guys, they complained about a lot of the stuff they had to keep doing and how busy they were. They didn't have time for their homework or anything and slept in class most of the time. So, I decided to not join and stay a regular college student.
ESPN Ocho: Damn, that was a really, really bad way to describe hazing without actually using the word. They probably think I'm scared of the physical stuff. I just don't want to get manure and piss thrown all over me in order to toughen me up "because it's tradition." How the hell will horse crap toughen me up?! (The real reason had to do with the hazing that went on at the time. I wanted to stay away from the h-word because CPT 2 was in ROTC.)
CPT 2: So, if you were not selected today, would you sign an enlistment contract right now?
Me: Well, yes. But I would have to change my focus. I'd have to concentrate on being a good soldier and prove myself to everyone before I thought about applying for OCS again. But OCS would be always be a goal of mine.
CPT 2: Your transcript only says 94 hours. How many hours are you taking now? Will you graduate in a year?
Me: Yes sir. I'm taking 15 hours now, and I'll take 6 hours in the summer to finish up. (Obviously, I was off on that since I'm graduating in December now.)
ESPN Ocho: Umm, didn't SGT Ex clear this up for you already? Do you not believe us?
CPT 2: Now, what are you going to do when you get to your first duty station and the soldiers test you. And believe me, they will.
Me: Well, work with them. Get to know them, and learn from them because I will be new. But I also have to come in as a leader. That will mean taking charge, getting things done, and smoking them on PT. (I smile and laugh, the board does not)
ESPN Ocho: Smoke them on PT?! Oh well, at least I'm smiling again, even though they aren't.
CPT 3: I have 3 questions for you. Question #1. . . what would you say if a group of junior enlisted females invited you to go out for drinks?
Me: (long period of silence, maintaining eye contact)
ESPN Ocho: What the hell kind of question is that?! What kind of girl does he think I am? Okay, well, the obvious answer is no. But he specifically said "say." Well, do I know these soldiers at all? If I do, I can blow them off. If not, I don't want them to get the impression that they're "beneath" me as people, even though I will be superior in rank.
Me: Do you mean when I first get to an assignment, or later on when I know them better?
CPT 3: Anytime. Whenever. What would you say?
ESPN Ocho: Okay, there's that "say" again. Hmm, what's a polite way to say no?
Me: Well, I would say thanks but no thanks. It's fraternization and inappropriate. They wouldn't want me around anyway. They should go be able to relax and make fun of me when I'm not around.
CPT 3: Question #2. . . What would you say if you got to an assignment and the sergeant told you to get out of the way. You don't have to do anything, we got everything covered. Just go stand in that corner and stay out of trouble.
Me: Uhh, no! I was assigned here, and I will do my job and contribute what I can. I understand I will have to learn and catch up, but I will not just sit in a corner and do nothing. I will be active in this platoon and learn my job. There may be a time when the Sergeant isn't there. I have to know what's going on.
ESPN Ocho: Damn, there was a lot of confidence in that answer! Where was that confidence at the beginning of the interview?
CPT 3: Question #3. . . I see you've had some trouble in one of your classes. . . structures. You know, some people go through their entire academic career and never fail at anything. What did it feel like to fail, and how would you feel if you failed as an officer?
ESPN Ocho: I knew they had to bring up my crappy grades sometime!
Me: It. . . (silent, maintaining eye contact)
ESPN Ocho: I f*cked up big time! Okay, DO NOT say that! Do not drop the f-bomb. Anything but that. What's another word? Any other word will do!
Me: . . . sucked! (The board cocked their heads and had "what did she just say" expressions on their face, the only show of emotion I saw at that point.) I worked so hard in that class for all those months, and to see that grade at the end, I was sooo upset and disappointed. And. . . (at this point, someone opened the door and walked right in! Yep, walked right in during the middle of my interview, while I was speaking! WTF!)
ESPN Ocho: Where the hell is SGT An and Pol?! Why didn't they keep this guy from walking in?! Whatever, don't break eye contact. You can answer this. Don't lose your train of thought. Keep eye contact and finish your answer!
Me: (continuing) It was one of the worst feelings I've ever had. And if I fail as an officer. . . I. . . I can't. If I fail as an officer, I wouldn't just fail myself. I'd fail everyone around me. And I can't let that happen!
CPT 3: Okay, those were my three questions. Now. . . let's talk about that assault charge!
ESPN Ocho: Huh?! That wasn't my check! I thought we cleared this up.
CPT 1: No, wait. That wasn't part of her packet. It was someone else's background check in her packet.
CPT 3: (embarrassed, smiles and laughs) Nevermind then! That was your trick question!
Me: (smiling and laughing)
CPT 2: (reaching over to look at the assault charge) Okay, it's not yours. Do you have any assault charges?
Me: (laughing) No sir!
CPT 1: Okay then. Well, we're done. If you would please step out, we'll make our decisions and then bring you back in and inform you.
Me: Thank you for your time.
ESPN Ocho: Thank God it's finally over! But I blew it! Public speaking? Public speaking?!! How could I be so stupid!

I leave the room and wait outside. SGT An and Pol are nowhere to be found! Where were they? A minute later, Pol walks back up to me. He's out of his suit and back into his regular clothes. "How'd you do?" "I didn't make it. I really screwed up in there! I said public speaking as my weakness! Man, I'm an idiot!" Pol was fairly optimistic though. He assured me I did okay. Then SGT An walks up and asks me how I did. I told him about my idiotic public speaking answer, and he just goes silence and gets this blank stare on his face. I knew he was thinking, "you're an idiot." But he came out of it and told me not to worry. Wow, that's a load of confidence right there! SGT Ex comes out and brings me back into the room. He tells me to skip the formal entrance and just walk right to the chair. I do, and I'm expecting the worst.

CPT 1: Well Rebecca. We are going to recommend you for selection. . .
ESPN Ocho: Really?! Me?! After that craptacular interview?! Wait. . . I feel a "but" coming on.
CPT 1: . . . but we do advise you to work on public speaking. You are a very soft-spoken person, and you need to learn to project your voice more.
ESPN Ocho: I could have told you that!
CPT 1: I'm pretty soft-spoken and I really paid for it during basic and again at OCS. OCS is going to be very, very tough. It's physically demanding, and they will stress your voice, with sounding off and everything. (Looks at the CPT 2 and CPT 3) Do either of you have anything else to add?
CPT 3: No, we'd just be beating a dead horse.
CPT 2: Yeah, you were really, really quiet when you first walked in. I could. . . and I have good hearing. I mean, I'm a FA (field artillery) guy but I have really good hearing. . .
ESPN Ocho: Control yourself! I know he has ears the size of satellites sticking out the sides of his head and that's probably the reason he has such good hearing, but DO NOT laugh. Don't even crack a smile! Erase this thought NOW!
CPT 2: . . . but I could barely hear you. I had to lean forward to be able to listen to you when you first spoke. Speaking is really important because that's generally going to be the first impression at each assignment, and you want it to be a strong one.
Me: Yes sir.
CPT 3: I liked the way you paused before your answers. You made a little face here and here, but you think before you speak. It shows thoughtfulness because once something is spoken, it's out there. I don't know what others think, but personally, I believe that shows a lot of intelligence.
ESPN Ocho: So, the whole time they were making me feel stupid, they actually thought I was smart?
CPT 2: I also was impressed with your answer to the question about the sergeant kicking you to the corner. You will be the officer there, and that's what you need to do. You will have to take charge and be a leader, and those soldiers will have to follow your orders.
ESPN Ocho: Whoah! Did I hear that right? Did CPT 2 just compliment me?
CPT 1: Now realize that Army officers are branched at needs of the Army, so make sure you're happy with your branch preferences. Now, I see you have Engineering #1, which is what I used to be, and Ordnance #3, which is what I am now. That's good to see. I like that!
ESPN Ocho: Ha ha! No bias there!
CPT 1: You're dad is in the Army, in the National Guard, right?
Me: Yes sir. He has about 24 years of total service. He spent about 10 years on active duty and the rest in the National Guard.
CPT 1: Wow! Well, it sounds like he's been a great influence and mentor to you.
Me: Yes, he is.
CPT 1: Well, we are done here. Congratulations, and we wish you the best of luck!
Me: Thank you sir! (I have a huge smile on my face, get up and shake each officer's hand, CPT 1 first because he was president of the board.)

I walk right out the door, SGT Ex salutes and is dismissed. He congratulates me as soon as he comes out. I told him that I thought I lost it with that public speaking answer, and he said don't worry about it. It worked in my favor because the biggest criticism they has of me was my voice. He said that I was quiet when I first got in there, but I improved a lot by the end of the interview. CPT 2 couldn't get past that, and SGT Ex said that I already knew it was my weakness because I mentioned it. SGT An and Pol congratulated me, and then I went out to SGT An's van to get my stuff and change back into my normal clothes!! SGT Ex and SGT An compared our interviews, and they both laughed at my "suck" comment. Based on their notes, the board was a lot harder on me than they were on Pol. SGT An said they used Pol as a warm-up, but they knew what they were doing when I stepped in there!

I was done, and I was selected!!! SGT An drove us right back to the station. He needed to pick up his wife and get back to Houston for the ATC. Pol and I were exhausted. It was almost 2 pm now. It was a fairly nervewrecking, emotional day for the both of us, and it completel drained us. Pol slept all the way back, but, even though I was tired, I spent the entire time talking with SGT An. I asked him about his time in service, where he's been stationed, the work he's done (made his mark on every continent except Africa and Antartica), the kinds of officers he's worked under, the dumbest things he's seen officers do (yes, I was taking notes but no promises), the sacrifices he and his family has made, and some of his ridiculously funny stories. He even talked to me a bit about sexual harrassment and his experiences with his female officers. It was a good lesson from an NCO with so much experience. SGT An dropped us back off at the station, and told us to go celebrate. How was I going to celebrate? Hitting the drive-thru at Wendy's and working a 5 hour shift! Yeah baby!

My Advice for the Battallion Board Interview (take it, leave it, or add to it)

Be presentable: shined shoes, clothes free of wrinkles, neat hair (ladies, that means above the collar), trimmed fingernails (get a manicure if you have to), minimal makeup and jewelry
Be patient and go with the flow: the day could be full of "hurry up and wait" like mine or everything could be run perfectly. Just stay patient and be prepared for anything (why I packed that tote).
Be confident: I wasn't at first, and it made the interview a lot harder. The interview is all about you, and you are the expert on that subject. Don't ever answer a question with "I don't know."
Maintain eye contact: Never break eye contact with the officer asking the question. When answering, look at each officer and make eye contact.
Think before speaking: Once something comes out of your mouth, it's out in the open. NEVER go back on what you say. From what I was told, that's almost the worst thing you can do in this interview, but the board will try to trick you into doing it. Dead silence and a sure answer, is better than taking back a previous one. I even got complimented on this!
Answer every question directly: Do not offer up any information or ramble on (kind of like I did at the beginning of mine). Concentrate and stay on point.
If they don't ask a question, don't give them an answer: CPT 2 tried to break me by ripping into me with his lectures. I wanted to defend myself, but I kept my mouth shut because he never once asked me a question. If I had talked back, I could have been thrown out for disrespecting an officer. What they say might piss you off, but they're purposely stressing you out to see how you respond. Keep your cool!
ALWAYS use Sir/Ma'am! Never call the board by their ranks.
Stay away from the slang: I used the word "suck," which seems fairly harmless, but it was not appropriate for a professional military interview (better than the f-bomb but still inappropriate). It definitely got the board's attention.
If/when you shake hands with the board, use a firm handshake.

Next on Part 7. . .
- signing and swearing in (I've never been so happy to go to MEPS!)

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